We’ll let Ned Beatty open our proceedings with an invocation:

“You have meddled with the primal forces of nature!”

That’s what happens when you fuck with one of the last institutions of American broadcasting. NBC did it once before, when they threw over Dave for Jay, and they’re doing it again with the botched reverse-transition from Jay to Conan to Jay.

But this isn’t really about Jay or Dave or Conan. It’s about Johnny. And Sigourney’s dad.

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We’d like to take this moment to observe that neither Democrats, Republicans, Progressives, nor Teabaggers — nay, even Sarah Palin — have a finger on the pulse of the nation. Otherwise they all would have been talking about something else yesterday.

Update: Conan quits. Sort of.

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The best description we’ve read about Game Change, the new 2008 campaign book by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, comes from the Atlantic’s Marc Ambinder: “chock full of revelations that are bound to stir the folks who live within ten miles of the Beltway.”

We live about three thousand miles away. Calculate accordingly.

The book, or at least the snippets we’ve seen so far — official publication is Tuesday — is not without value to political caricaturists. Moments like these might come in handy:

• Bill Clinton, lobbying Ted Kennedy to endorse Hillary, said of Obama, “a few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee.” (This was politely called the “experience” issue at the time.)
• Hillary initially planned to turn down the offer of Secretary of State, for fear of Bubba Eruptions: “You know I can’t control him, and at some point he’ll be a problem.” (That was on everybody’s mind.)
• Harry Reid noticed early that Obama could fare better than Jesse, thanks to being “light-skinned” and not speaking with a “Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one.” (You’ll recall African-Americans fearing Obama wasn’t black enough, as well as his ability to channel MLK cadences when needed.)

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There’s only one solution: Announcing the Stinque Tea Party Convention! All we need is a room, a logo, and a Sarah Palin drag queen.

As a satirical semi-political blog, descended (via bastardy) from another satirical political blog, whose originator had a famous obsession with the National Zoo baby panda back in the Aughts, and since Stinque World Domination HQ is located about a mile from the Sandy Eggo Zoo, whose adorable captives recently squirted out another baby panda, we feel an obligation to celebrate milestones in said panda’s life.

Those we notice, anyway. We have a hard time paying attention.

So, for the record, Butterstinque, formerly Butterstick II, né Yun Zi, will be making his public debut today. We apologize for our lack of effusion, but unlike Ana Marie Cox, we’re not a girl.

You’ve got charisma, kid [SD Union-Tribune]

Baby panda Yun Zi makes his official debut at San Diego Zoo [SDNN, with video. Errr, WITH VIDEO!!!]

Left: A samizdat Class of 2011 hoodie worn by fifteen Arab-American students at a Dearborn, Michigan, high school Monday. The students were sent to the principal’s office and the sweatshirts confiscated for reasons we’re having trouble understanding, although wingnutty Jihad Watch is certain they display “jihadist sympathies”.

Right: So help us god, the official banner of the school, Edsel Ford High.

Sweatshirt Sparks School Controversy [WDIV]

Hundreds attend Dearborn meeting about Twin Towers shirts [Detroit Free Press]

It’s only by chance that we found the following two stories on the following two websites, but having found them, we think we’ve also found the secret of the universe.

CNN, September 16, 2009:

Spanking detrimental to children, study says

Think a little spanking won’t do much harm to kids? New research says the effects can be long-lasting.

Experts say “popping” kids can do more harm than good. A new study of more than 2,500 toddlers from low-income families found that spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.

Fox News, Monday:

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