We really can’t recommend enough the comfort and health benefits of burying your head under a stack of pillows. Not only does it drown out the goddam fucking idiocy that passes for our national discourse, it’s also much safer than shoving dinner utensils in your ears.

Plus, you can also pound the shit out of them during those Special Moments when your nation’s leaders act like a bunch of craven bastards, and they’ll still retain their gentle fluffiness when you’re ready to hold them to your mouth and scream the anguish of utter hopelessness.

Also available in industrial sizes.

Buried in a footnote of the appeal of the pending resumption of Armageddon in California is a fascinating claim about what puts the Traditional in Marriage:

Infertile marriages also advance the institution’s central procreative purposes by reinforcing social norms that heterosexual intercourse — which in most cases can produce offspring — should take place only within marriage.

This isn’t just a passing remark — the Prop 8 sponsors spend a good ten pages dwelling on the subject. But it reveals a subtext to the issue that wasn’t entirely apparent in November 2008:

Prop 8 protects the State’s right to regulate fucking.

Not just gay fucking. All fucking. Or, to be more precise: All unlicensed fucking.

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WorldNetDaily, 1 am Thursday:

Al Gore says climate battle lost by ‘failure’ of government
Also blames ‘right-wing’ media and pushes global-warming alarmists to demand coverage

Ex–Vice President Al Gore, who has invested heavily in schemes that would give him profits from climate-related energy credits and carbon-emissions trading, is lamenting bitterly the “failure” of the government that means there probably won’t be comprehensive legislation taxing energy use and emissions right now.

And he’s blaming “right-wing” media, whose reports documented “Climategate,” the revelations of global-warming scientists that made it appear they were manipulating results and shutting out critics, for that failure.

WorldNetDaily, 9:45 pm Thursday:

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Congratulations to the new Royal Mecca Clock Tower, which starts ticking today with visibility an interstate truck stop would die for:

The clock’s four faces are 151ft in diameter and will be illuminated by 2million LED lights along with huge Arabic script reading: “In the name of Allah”…

Residents of Mecca will also be reminded that it is time to pray when 21,000 green and white lights, visible at a distance of 18 miles, flash five times a day.

No disrespect, but can we just say how much we love being an infidel? Even under the most liberal devotional strictures, we’d have problems making the Wednesday-night social meetings.

But that’s not our interest here. The new clock, we’re told, will be running on Arabia Standard Time, which would be news if it wasn’t. Problem is, AST runs three hours ahead of GMT, which apparently puts Islam at a competitive disadvantage:

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We joke about the beer money, but there’s only one reason we run Google ads on the site. By unanimous decision, the Airline Career Pilot Program just won August.

“The theory of relativity is a mathematical system that allows no exceptions. It is heavily promoted by liberals who like its encouragement of relativism and its tendency to mislead people in how they view the world. Here is a list of 24 counterexamples: any one of them shows that the theory is incorrect.” [Conservapedia]

1. Relatives.

2. The Lost finale.

3. Disappearing socks.

4. A cat’s unexplained ability to hover at your door without being either in or out.

5. Aqua Buddha.

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You may have heard last week about a fascinating security hole in the iPhone: If you craft a PDF file just so, in particular by fucking with the embedded fonts, you can break into the gadget.

Apple has certainly heard of it, and they’re working on a fix. Because that’s what software companies are supposed to do when a serious bug comes to their attention.

Unlike the United States Senate, which enshrines it as tradition.

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