[ College Humor Flash video not available. ]

So Trey & Matt decided to do a parody of Inception last week, but given that they produce a show in six days and the movie was out of theaters, they turned to the Web to research lines.

Hey, we do that all the time when we can’t think of sufficiently obscure references on our own. If we wanted to riff on Inception, we’d hit up the IMDb quotes page.

Apparently Trey & Matt (or their minions) didn’t. Instead, they found a clever parody online, and figured the parody was using lines straight from the movie.

It, um, wasn’t.

Read more »

As a Responsible Journalist, we’re obligated to say that these examples of months-old — and years-old — McDonald’s products that defy rot constitute purely anecdotal evidence of the company’s superior manufacuring techniques, and by no means demonstrate with scientific certainty that they will bury you.

For that matter, in the interest of full disclosure, we once accidentally left a bagel out, and within a week it had become a hardened weapon, leaving a dent in the wall as it shattered on impact.

Happily, an enterprising geek has decided to put the Urban Legend to the test — as well as your attention span:

Read more »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_Os0cwpCQE

Just so you know who to blame: “The decline of America began in Colorado in 1967,” declares PersonhoodUSA is this delightful recap of every wingnut meme of the past two generations. (Don’t miss the special cameo by Barack Obama as the Angel of Death!)

Why Colorado? Something to do with legalizing abortion. You can fill in the rest.

But why this ad? Why now? Well, seems Colorado has an anti-abortion amendment on the ballot:

Read more »

Our guest columnist this morning is Virginia Thomas, wife of the Supreme Court justice, who has generously provided her own premise, alleviating us of the need to imagine an absurdly comedic situation where she would call Anita Hill at 7:31 a.m. on a Saturday.

Good morning Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas. I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.

So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day.

We now return to 1991, already in progress.

Clarence Thomas’s Wife Asks Anita Hill for Apology [NYT]

Lavoni Kidd was born in Kansas. A star athlete, he led the Idaho Vandals in rushing in 1995. By 2003, he had earned an overseas scholarship.

That’s when the Feds arrested him at Dulles Airport.

”I was made to sit in a small cell for hours and hours and hours buck naked,” he told the New York Times in 2004. ”I was treated worse than murderers.”

Kidd was held without charge for more than two weeks, through a series of high-security prisons. Even when he was released, he was ordered to live with his in-laws in Vegas, with his travel restricted to adjacent states. He was required to check in with probation officers. His passport was revoked.

Kidd would not enjoy the freedom of an American citizen again for thirteen months — when a judge granted his request to remove the remaining restrictions. By that time he was divorced, under the strain of the circumstances. And although he had never been charged with a crime, much less tried or convicted, Kidd found it hard to get a job.

Maybe being called a terrorist by the FBI director had something to do with it.

Oh, sorry, we left out something. Back in college, Lavoni Kidd had changed his name. To Abdullah al-Kidd.

Read more »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BCa8xw9yGY

Y’know, Jack, when you put it that way, mocking Christianity, worshiping Aqua Buddha, and ending federal “faith-based” initiatives almost earns Randy a Coveted Stinque Endorsement.

But wait, it gets weirder: In their debate Sunday night, Randy came back strong with, of all things, a Joseph Welch reference:

“Jack, you should be ashamed of yourself. Have you no decency? Have you no shame?”

Is Kentucky dyslexic? Because it looks from here like they have their D’s and R’s crossed.

Rand Paul To Jack Conway: ‘You Demean Kentucky’ [TPM]

Yesterday we posted a 1994 memo from the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, explaining the options a President has when faced with enforcing a law he considers unconstitutional — or, as we’re addressing here, defending an unconstitutional law.

Like say, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Or the Defense of Marriage Act.

The Obama Administration’s defense of its defense is straightforward: Their hands are tied. As long as the law is on the books, they’re obligated to defend it, all the way to the Supreme Court. The President reiterated this defense Thursday on MTV:

Congress explicitly passed a law that took away the power of the executive branch to end this policy unilaterally, so this is not a situation in which with a stroke of a pen I can simply end the policy.

This is not quite the case.

Read more »