Kottke refers us to the Awkward Stock Photos blog, which makes us regret that we haven’t saved for retirement so we can slip one in on our next project.

As a tonic, Kottke also refers us to new Mad Men posters, which merely make us insanely jealous.

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Meet the genius who’s generating all those marvelous Fake BP Tweets:

I started @BPGlobalPR, because the oil spill had been going on for almost a month and all BP had to offer were bullshit PR statements. No solutions, no urgency, no sincerity, no nothing. That’s why I decided to relate to the public for them. I started off just making jokes at their expense with a few friends, but now it has turned into something of a movement. As I write this, we have 100,000 followers and counting. People are sharing billboards, music, graphic art, videos and most importantly information.

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• If you’ve ever wanted to take a dump in the ocean, now is your chance.
• We are very upset that Operation: Top Kill has failed. We are running out of cool names for these things.
• Flying Rand Paul in to consult. Evidently he’s an expert at keeping black out of places.
• The oil leak was caused by a natural gas explosion, or sea fart, which is now having silent but deadly consequences.
• Due to public outcry, our “Spill Or Be Spilled” flash game will be taken off our BP Kidz Klub website. “Smack the Greasy Manatee” stays.

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Since we saw fit to post the Creepiest Song Ever awhile back, it behooves us to provide equal time to other gifted practitioners of the Slavic Arts. Meet Aleksandr Hrustevich, shredmaster.

[via pourmecoffee]

Louie Gohmert (R-19th Century) goes for the gold: “Ever since the safeguard of State legislatures electing U.S. Senators was removed by the 17th Amendment in 1913, there has been no check or balance on the Federal power grab for the last 97 years.” [TPM]

Mark Lisanti went on a Twitter tear Thursday, following the (officially denied) rumor that Jay Leno would be returning to the Tonight Show, bumping Conan O’Brien back to post-midnight. Let’s watch the keeper of the Giant GrazerHead at work!

Perhaps out of psychological self-preservation, I’m for now choosing to believe that TMZ’s wrong about the Leno/Conan thing. No. Nono. No.

THIS JUST IN: Leno to get chair next to Conan, “to chime in whenever he feels like he has something to add.”

UPDATE! Leno to do Tonight Show monologue, sit in Conan’s lap for first half-hour of new format.

BREAKING! NBC announces Leno to sit in jalopy on Tonight Show stage, intermittently honk horn to throw Conan off his game.

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