As evidence continues to surface and charges continue to fly that high officials of the Catholic Church, including Pope Benedict shielded pedophile priests while threatening their victims with excommunication, the church itself wants you to know that everything is hunky dory:

VATICAN CITY (AP) — A senior cardinal staunchly defended Pope Benedict XVI from “petty gossip” on Sunday as the pontiff maintained his silence on mounting sex abuse cover-up accusations during his Easter message.

Petty gossip, you see. That’s all it is. One wonders what malicious gossip might look like?

“With this spirit today we rally close around you, successor to (St.) Peter, bishop of Rome, the unfailing rock of the holy church,” Sodano said. “Holy Father, on your side are the people of God, who do not allow themselves to be influenced by the petty gossip of the moment, by the trials which sometimes buffet the community of believers.”

Of course such trials can be avoided, can’t they? All we need do is hide the evidence, silence the victims, and shuffle the offenders off to a different diocese.

In early evening, the pope, who turns 83 later this month, was to fly by helicopter to the papal residence in Castel Gandolfo, a lakeside retreat in the Alban Hills southeast of Rome, where he will greet pilgrims from the palace courtyard balcony on Monday.

Shortly after the blessing, an electromagnetic bottle of anti-matter will be discovered nearby, whereupon the Pope will snatch it from authorities, climb aboard the helicopter and safely dispose of it at 10,000 feet altitude before parachuting to the ground.

All this nonsense about pedophilia will be quickly forgotten.

Happy Easter, Stinquers!

Greetings, fellow travelers. Once again, it is time to update those of who you on the progress we have made in bringing about the age of the Anti-Christ. As you know, due to the extreme sensitivity of our project, these posts are all closed to public viewing (Since this is my first post of this nature, I got instructions on how to limit viewership to dues paying members from NOJO. I believe I have done it right, though the precise HTML code to use it is a little confusing). Please do not share this post with anyone from outside the INNER CIRCLE.

At any rate, welcome Manchucandidate and all members of the Council on Foreign Relations. Welcome Homofascist and all members of the gay conspiracy. Welcome JNOV and your fellow Masons. Blogenfreude and the Secret Society for World Socialism. Welcome Promnight and the members of the Abortion Maximization Committee. And welcome everyone else whose names and affiliations I simply do not have tie to list in this column. Our numbers are growing rapidly as the age of the Anti-Christ approacheth. Read more »

Remeber when Barbara Boxer was sent thousands of roses from supporters across the nation to thank her for calling attention to voting irregularities in Ohio? Well, this Friday (as in tomorrow) is Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s 70th birthday, and there’s a movement afoot to send her thousands of roses in gratitude for getting Health Care Reform through the congress. Daily Kos has the details, but it’s as simple as calling 1-866 596 186 and giving them your credit card info. For $10.00 they’ll send three roses. There’s also a website set up to promote the showing of gratitude.

You can order roses as late as this evening.

Don’t mind us, just experimenting with a blank-title post, something we discovered by accident over the weekend. Some subjects aren’t even worthy of a link-dump treatment, but might merit a quick hit. Especially on slow days.

California gay hate icon Roy Ashburn demonstrates his winning hand job technique before voting in favor of more gay hate laws.

California Republican State Senatory Roy Ashburn built his career raging against homosexuals, joining the GOP chorus of hate, fear and genocidal rage that the RNC had cultivated for decades.

That is, when Ashburn wasn’t driving around shitfaced and cruising gay bars looking for men who would have sex with a hypocritical fascistic asswipe like him.

The family values father of four and husband was apparently taking a break from condemning godless sodomy by pursuing some godless sodomy for himself, arrested with an as yet unnamed man Ashburn apparently scooped at a tavern for homosexuals in Sacramento.

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Sort of like their economy:

(NEWSER) – A Dubai aquarium and shopping mall were evacuated yesterday when a mammoth shark tank cracked and gushed water in downtown Dubai. The 2.5 million gallon tank, promoted as an “indoor ocean,” holds some 33,000 sea creatures, including hundreds of sharks. Workers carrying life jackets rushed to the scene, and the glass panel leak was quickly plugged. The fish were not in danger, reports the BBC. The aquarium is located at the foot of the world’s tallest building, which was closed this month after an elevator accident.

Video after the jump:

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“My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”

–Andrea Fay Friedman, the actress who portrayed a young woman with Down Syndrome in a recent episode of The Family Guy that was attacked by Sarah Palin. Friedman suffers from Down syndrome herself. Palin has recently excused conservative talk show hosts who ridicule people with disabilities reasoning that, in their case it’s OK, since they do so “using satire.”