Easter Message: The Pope is $#@% Awesome!

As evidence continues to surface and charges continue to fly that high officials of the Catholic Church, including Pope Benedict shielded pedophile priests while threatening their victims with excommunication, the church itself wants you to know that everything is hunky dory:

VATICAN CITY (AP) — A senior cardinal staunchly defended Pope Benedict XVI from “petty gossip” on Sunday as the pontiff maintained his silence on mounting sex abuse cover-up accusations during his Easter message.

Petty gossip, you see. That’s all it is. One wonders what malicious gossip might look like?

“With this spirit today we rally close around you, successor to (St.) Peter, bishop of Rome, the unfailing rock of the holy church,” Sodano said. “Holy Father, on your side are the people of God, who do not allow themselves to be influenced by the petty gossip of the moment, by the trials which sometimes buffet the community of believers.”

Of course such trials can be avoided, can’t they? All we need do is hide the evidence, silence the victims, and shuffle the offenders off to a different diocese.

In early evening, the pope, who turns 83 later this month, was to fly by helicopter to the papal residence in Castel Gandolfo, a lakeside retreat in the Alban Hills southeast of Rome, where he will greet pilgrims from the palace courtyard balcony on Monday.

Shortly after the blessing, an electromagnetic bottle of anti-matter will be discovered nearby, whereupon the Pope will snatch it from authorities, climb aboard the helicopter and safely dispose of it at 10,000 feet altitude before parachuting to the ground.

All this nonsense about pedophilia will be quickly forgotten.

Happy Easter, Stinquers!

21 Comments

Every photo I see of the guy makes him look like a really evil garden gnome.

seriously
an evil looking picture.

happe easter

@Capt Howdy: The Easter Bunny didn’t come to my house – where’s my resurrection chocolate?

@NaBEEsko:
I fear that may have been the easter bunny one of my dogs was burying this morning.

wanna see a fun movie?
Clash of the Titans.

@NaBEEsko: The Name!

Anyway, Jesus came out and saw his shadow. 2,000 more years of winter, y’all.

@ManchuCandidate: Diabetes, arteriosclerosis, hypertension… the whole shebang.

A guy from Santa Fe made the crucifix that Benny’s holding in that pic.

@Capt Howdy: He appears to be giving the Nazi salute. Creepy.

TJ/ Why do I write fan mail? Can someone please make me stop? It’s juvenile and embarrassing and leads to geek crushes, especially when they write me back. Fucking spring. Okay, yeah — I do it regardless of the season.

Petty gossip? Wow – these idiots are going to deny deny deny … and the lying. Isn’t that, like, a commandment or something? False witness? Forgotten a lot of that Hebrew school stuff ….

@Mistress Cynica: Isn’t that the hierophant he’s doing?

@JNOV: Stop that right now! Right now, missy! (better?)

@ManchuCandidate: Ew. Ew ew ew! Ew! Ugh! Fech! I have to go and drink gin.

@Capt Howdy: Saw it last night. Good movie, worst use of 3d ever.

Hullo all! And may that which you revere richly bless you on this day of renewal and rebirth! Even Benedick.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: worst use of 3d ever

That’s the surprise, as you probably know: It wasn’t shot in 3D.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Hey! I went to the farm animal sanctuary and frolicked with rescued sheep and goats. The turkey cocks were acting out. I talked to hippies in sandals. (I did not do the tour.) And I saw some very nice pigs. I am like Mr. Easter. I am risen. Oh yeah.

The face of necropederasty is ever there was one.

@Benedick: I have a feeling you are no stranger to piggies, little mister. Risen indeed.

Related: I think the Google adbots have weighed in on this issue. I keep getting an ad link to here:

http://www.officialsexoffenderregistry.com/search2/

And this article is the only one even *remotely* related.

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