Father Swears Best

Title: “Sh*t My Dad Says”

Author: Justin Halpern

Rank: 63

Blurb: Nothing worth mentioning, so just head straight for the Twitter feed. Unlike the book, it doesn’t hide behind an asterisk.

Review: None yet — the book’s not published until May 4. And while we wish Sandy Eggo’s Justin only the best, he’ll understand if we withhold judgment on the CBS pilot starring William Shatner. Especially since Danny DeVito’s been nailing that part for years.

Customers Also Bought: “Lodge Logic 12-Inch Pre-Seasoned Skillet”

Footnote: “Your mom just ordered 35 copies of your book. I’m not paying for One. Fucking. Copy. Mine’s free.”

Sh*t My Dad Says [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


Heh. At first I liked this one (which basically my pops did say):
“Sprain, huh? Did you go to medical school?… Well I did, so spare me your dog-shit diagnosis and lemme look at your ankle.”
12:21 PM Jan 23rd via web”

Then I saw this one:
“Been thinking for a while, and I’d say there’s 1.5 pounds of shit in the dog. Tried to get the vet to weigh a sack of it. No dice.”
12:02 PM Jan 9th via web

Heh heh

That’s the whole book?

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll shit in your mouth.”

“See that kid with the brown eyes? Yep, fulla shit.”

“Yes, you are going into the lake and you will swim, because shit floats!”

What next? The Things-that-make-mom-belch book?

Damn. I’m looking into the future and it’s not going to be pretty.

“No, I’m not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain’t shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist.”


@ManchuCandidate: From Wikipedia: “Depressive realism is the proposition that people with depression actually have a more accurate perception of reality, specifically that they are less affected by positive illusions of illusory superiority, the illusion of control and optimism bias. The concept refers to people with borderline or moderate depression, suggesting that while normal people see things in an overly positive light and severely depressed people see things in overly negative light, the mildly discontented grey area in between in fact reflects the most accurate perception of reality.”

The shit that dude’s dad says is, truth.

Don’t even get me started on New Media book deals.

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