As you may or may not have heard by now, a circuit judge has overturned the Obama administration’s moratorium on further deep sea oil exploration in the Gulf of Mexico. According to the Associated Press, Judge Martin Feldman based his decision on the opinion that, despite the fact that the Gulf of Mexico and the coasts of Lousiana, Mississippi and Florida are experiencing the worst man-made ecological disaster they have ever endured, and despite that it has become amply clear that no technology exists to stop a deep water spill of this nature, and despite the fact that endemic corruption has completely undermined the effectiveness of the Minerals Managment Service, and despite the fact that oil companies have been allowed to draft their own equipment inspection reports for rubber stamping by corrupt MMS officials,  “…the Interior Department failed to provide adequate reasoning for the moratorium. He says it seems to assume that because one rig failed, all companies and rigs doing deepwater drilling pose an imminent danger.”

Oh yeah, there’s also the tiny matter of the Judge’s financial ties to the oil industry… Recusal? What the hell is that?

In one of the more memorable scenes of Casablanca, French police captain Louis Renault feigns shock at the uncovering of a secret gambling room at the rear of Rick’s Cafe Americain. Just moments later, with perfect comic timing, an employee of the establishment walks up to Renault and hands him the proceeds from his winnings that evening.

I couldn’t help but think of this moment when I came across a story in Slate’s news digest section titled “Partner in damaged oil well slams BP for ‘reckless’ actions — and inaction.” Read more »

According to the technology site Gizmodo, British Petroleum has just purchased 32 of the oil/water separation centrifuge devices that the brother of actor Kevin Costner developed shortly after the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Costner set up a company to market  his brother’s invention, investing $20 million of his own cash and has been pushing for BP to adopt the technology as it fights the massive oil spill in the gulf. The machines themselves are said to be capable of cleaning 288,000 gallons per day.

This means, of course, that Kevin Costner has already done a whole lot more to clean the Gulf Coast than Sarah Palin. But then, if you think about it, so probably has Trig.

So in recognition of Costner’s noble efforts, we hereby officially forgive him Dances with Wolves.

Meanwhile, we’ll keep a look out for giant meteors hurling towards Earth that might provide Costner with the opportunity to atone for Waterworld.

Q: What’s thicker than the orange sludge that’s killing sea-life and washing up on Louisiana shores these days?

A: The nonsensical bullshit spewing from half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin’s mouth when she’s invited to give her analysis of the President’s recent address to the nation on the BP oil spill.

Indeed, you’ve got to be pretty hopeless if you show up on O’Reilly’s program to slam the president and the host makes you look like an idiot by tossing you a few softball questions and watching as you swing wildly and strike on every one.

Palin begins her absurd denunciation of the president’s speech with a rambling disjointed and often contradictory series of thoughts that makes the typical Mad Lib seem a model of insight, clarity and coherence by comparison:

Read more »

If you were hoping that the ever deteriorating situation in Afghanistan might lead U.S. military and civilian leaders to just declare victory and go home, then I’ve got a spot of bad news for you. It comes in the form of a front page New York Times headline that reads: U.S. Discovers Vast Riches of Minerals in Afghanistan.

These are the opening paragraphs of the story in question:

WASHINGTON — The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself, according to senior American government officials.

The previously unknown deposits — including huge veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and critical industrial metals like lithium — are so big and include so many minerals that are essential to modern industry that Afghanistan could eventually be transformed into one of the most important mining centers in the world, the United States officials believe.

An internal Pentagon memo, for example, states that Afghanistan could become the “Saudi Arabia of lithium,” a key raw material in the manufacture of batteries for laptops and Blackberries.

I hate to be the one to say it, but… well, let’s face it: we’re never leaving, now.

(Edit: OK, now that I’ve had a few moments for the story to sink in, I’ve got to ask the question: why the fuck were we prospecting in the first place? Does the U.S. military just make it a habit to travel around with a troupe of oil and minerals industry geologists wherever they happen to invade?)

President Obama came to Ess Eff tonight to raise a shitload of money for Barbara Boxer at an event at the Fairmont Hotel. On a freakishly cold and rainy late May day, everyone turned out to stand on Mason Street to welcome Barry.

While the predictable tea-bagger/ “Obama is a Mooslem Hitler Man”/ Hands-off-my-Medicare crowd managed to get through bridges and tunnels to protest in Baghdad by the Bay, the protest brought out some of my favorites, including the only-in-SF (or perhaps Eugene/Portland/Seattle) protesters, including, I shit thee not, the cliched save the whales crowd.

Courtesy of Shaky Hand Productions, three minutes of a walk down Mason Street.

You saw the Dale Peterson, douchebag of the day ad, right here on Stinque. Well, here’s the only possible response to such nonsense… a brilliant parody:

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Now this Dale Peterson I’d vote for!