In this corner, a Ripped Filthy Liar whom we suspect has a glass jaw. And in this corner, a Hairplug-Studded Veteran whose best moments remind you of a vérité Curb Your Enthusiasm. We have no idea what to expect during tonight’s Veep Debate Open Thread/Mixed Mental Arts Competition. We just know it ain’t gonna be normal.

After a week of Expectations Management and Earnest Discussions about whether Americans really give a shit, the moment is finally upon us: The Big One. The Rumble in the Bunghole. Alien vs. Predator. And while we offer no predictions for tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Diabetes Attack, we’ll be sorely disappointed if we don’t have at least one opportunity to toss our Gourmet Popping Corn in utter disbelief.

The former chair of the Florida Republican Party admitted in a two day deposition taken in May and released last week that party officials met in December 2009 to discuss “voter suppression and keeping blacks from voting.”  Jim Greer is currently being prosecuted for public corruption, which he says is for retaliation for blowing the whistle on state Republican politicians who were “using party credit cards like drunken soldiers” and because he supported former Governor Charlie Crist’s  appointment of a black man to the Florida Supreme Court.

Greer denounced the “whack-a-do, right wing crazies” that he says have taken over the party. The U.S. Department of Justice is investigating one of said whack-a-do’s, Gov. Rick Scott, and his efforts to purge voter rolls due to ostensible voter fraud. Purely coincidental that 87 percent of those purged are persons of color.

[Tampa Bay Times]

[Salon]

“The state GOP has lined up six fake Democrats to run in upcoming recall elections targeting Gov. Scott Walker and five other Republicans.” [Wisconsin State Journal, via Political Wire]

There’s been so much McLovin going on in Republican politics this past week, the only way to honor Super Tuesday is by getting our Super Freak on. So grab your fake ID and vote in our GOP Primary Open Thread/Sexy Party. It’s called fucking strategy, all right?

The Michigan State Tree is the Eastern White Pine. Its needles are three to five inches long, with five blue-green, slender needles per fascicle. A fascicle sheath is not present. Needles appear blue because of three or more lines of stomata. Its flower is Monoecious. Males are cylindrical, yellow, in clusters near branch tips; females are light green, tinged in red, at ends of branches. Cones are four to seven inches long, cylindrical, with thin, rounded cone scales, very resinous. It grows from 150 to 190 feet high. We hope you enjoy our GOP Primary Open Thread/Lumberjack Festival. Thank you.

Say, did you know “I Dream of Jeannie” was set in Florida? Do you know why “I Dream of Jeannie” was set in Florida? Because the main characters were astronauts!

Well, except Jeannie, of course. We think she was Muslim.

And with that thinnest of sitcom premises to go on, we welcome you to our Florida GOP Primary Open Thread/Bottle Service. But be careful: If you rub it too much, you’ll go blind.