Zing Theory

After a week of Expectations Management and Earnest Discussions about whether Americans really give a shit, the moment is finally upon us: The Big One. The Rumble in the Bunghole. Alien vs. Predator. And while we offer no predictions for tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Diabetes Attack, we’ll be sorely disappointed if we don’t have at least one opportunity to toss our Gourmet Popping Corn in utter disbelief.


Bought two packets of nuke popcorn on the way home. Because I love America.

A cold lager from America’s Oldest Brewery ™ and some unsalted nuts here. I should have bought Utz to complete the Ode to Pennsyltucky.

Where’s CB? I hope he’s got his head above water.

ADD: watching over the air digital PBS on my 15 year old Sharp 20″. It’s got a built in VHS in case I want to record anything…

@Beggars Biscuit: CB was out playing on the Twitters earlier.

And there goes the first bag. As well as the first bottle. Glad I’m stocked up.

Delicious 2009 Chateau Lagaurde Saint-Emilion, a Bordeux. What the other 6 people at my house will be drinking I haven’t a clue,

David Brooks declares he loves “wide open chunks” on PBS. Apparently he meant the debate format.

Domestic issues? I thought this was the foreign-policy debate.

Homemade popcorn with lots of butter and 5 Vulture dark ale here.

“Kick him in the balls,” said Bobby to Jack. According to Tweety.

Open with a self-referential zinger, Barry? Really?

@Beggars Biscuit: CB informs me he’s at the bar, sharing his Zingers.

Jesus, he’s trying to steal Barry’s plan. Republicans are the new Democrats.

Shit, even Lehrer seems nervous. Is there a drone hovering over Denver?

@mellbell: Obama does as well. No advantage there.

The president is not crushing so far. I will, however, remember the figure “5 Trillion”.

Think Mitt is going to break into the Internationale anytime soon?

Romney’s boys are liars? Did Dad just say that?

Please, Mitt, badger Jim Lehrer some more. He loves that.

“I like Big Bird” was planned, but rushed.

Someone told Mitt to make numbered lists for every. single. thing.

I’m mostly listening rather than watching (drinking Mr Cyn’s homemade chardonnay here). At first Mitt sounded genial and Obama sounded stiff, but now it seems Barry is hitting his stride and Mitt is sounding shrill and desperate.

@Beggars Biscuit: He talks too fast. Like the car salesman that tries to convince you: “you’ll only be paying $15.00 more each month.”

Did Romney really just say that he wishes his accountant knew about the tax-breaks-for-outsourcing-jobs scheme?

The fucking problem with turning Medicare over to the states is FUCKING states like Texas don’t do the right thing. Texas sucks.

@Mistress Cynica: Not sure yet. The MittBot has its moments, then seems to go into hyperdrive.

$700 billion in Medicare, drink!!!

ADD: Mitt forgot that math often is just boring.

I wish that Obama would just come out and say that Medicare Advantage deserves to be cut to the bone.

Beer no. 2 (see, learning from Mitt!): Two Brothers Ebel’s Weiss

The government is more efficient than the private sector on health care. Jesus.

God it’s boring. I mean, really! I can’t take any more.

This has become a race between a man who knows how to knot an exquisite tie and a man who doesn’t.

@flippin eck: Second glass of sangria. (Lest anyone think I’m fancy, it comes in a screw-cap bottle.)

Jim is losing control. Mitt is running the debate.

@Beggars Biscuit: Heh. The fallout of reaping the remaining supply of a friend’s party Saturday.

ALSO, I had beers I intended to share with Homofascist, but he ignored my debate invite (albeit texted a hourish ago).

@Benedick: yeah, where are the zip guns? The shanks? The Anal Pears?

These guys need to step it up.

@texrednface: Agreed. The MittBot is winning on points so far. Barry’s rope-a-dope is ineffective. Time to sting like a bee.

That dollar I spent on nuke popcorn is starting to feel like a major waste.

OMG. Mitch appeals to Dallas 32k millionaires. Little shits that don’t pay any attention to grandma cuz they are too busy cheering the Cowboys and loving on their team. Fuck em.

ADD:Cowboyz r losers.

Jim, are you still there?…Jim??….

Are we back to death panels? Oh, for Pete’s sake.

About those health insurance rebates — mine was a paltry four dollars and twenty-three cents. Now, given that the average rebate for a small group plan in my area was one hundred and eighty-six dollars, that means CareFirst was clearly bucking the trend of diverting a large portion of contributions to executive salaries, which is great, but on some level it was nevertheless unsatisfying.

If you listen to tapes of Romney explaining the Mass. RomneyCare plan, the difference is it was presented as PUNITIVE. Listen to it. That’s the only diference between ObamaCare and RomneyCare>

Ronald Reagan, Tip O’niel drink…I’m out of booze

I’m one square away from bingo. Come on, guys, talk about abortion or the Supreme Court!

@mellbell: My rebate BCBS was about a months premium. Hoping for check, got premium rebate.

Jim leherer is ZZZZZZZ. some one needs to kick his chair.

WTF are they talking about now? And has Obama left with Jim? I haven’t heard anyone but Romney speak for about 10 minutes.

No discussion of social issues, really?

Fuck this. Amazon Prime has the first two seasons of Sherlock streaming for free.
This is almost as bad as the first debate in 2000. We need to get Bill Clinton in as coach.

@mellbell: Ten minutes to talk about ladybits! Go!

Romney’s bullet points are now outlines. Those outlines will be summarized by bullet-pointing… the…. basic…. outline… that was… bulleted.

Romney seems defensive and “itchy”.
Obama appears calm and cool.

Nothing about this debate has inspired me to decide one is/was better than the other. They are both jockeying for that middle ground.

@mellbell: @flippin eck: Apparently, no one cares to talk about the lady issues.

I’ll bet by the next debate, Romney won’t have that “I just peed in my diapers” look on his face every time they cut to him while Obama is talking.

“I think this was a terrific debate.” You might be the only one, Mr. President.

Looks like Romney’s been doing blow.

@flippin eck: @Mistress Cynica: In theory they can address the ladybits in the second debate ( the town hall), but I am skeptical of that actually happening.

@mellbell: My 82 year old mother agrees with you. She said Romney didn’t make sense.

Oooh, Shelly’s jacket is all structured and shit.

Fox News is now making stuff up about the debate. What they saw and what America saw. The real debate begins.

Gwen Ifil is deftly avoiding the Jim Lehrer issue as she moderates the PBS spin cycle.

As determined as I was to avoid this thing, the taxi driver had it on on my way home from work – had to listen to Mittens’ opening. I could have asked him to turn it off – NYC cabbies are required by law to turn radio off if asked (and not talk on the phone while in motion). But part of me wanted to listen to the train wreck.

Barry’s mind was clearly on the Anniversary after-party. Jim Lehrer on fiber.

MSNBC should cut to commercial before Tweety’s head explodes.

Barry and the Dems should just come out and say it when the arguement is : Leave it to the states: SHIT HOLE STATES LIKE TEXAS AND MISSISSIPPI JUST WON”T DO IT! what’s to lose?

Where, by the way, were the zingers?

Some crazy bitch — what’s her name? — is on MSNBC “fact checking.” I had to turn it off before I started stabbing myself in the eye with my fork.

@mellbell: I counted two or three before I gave up.

Also: Obama actually had a four-minute speaking advantage. There goes that excuse.

Lehrer was useless the last time he ‘moderated’.

Hey, am I remember right? Did the President tell Donald Trump that the Executive Wang was much bigger than Donald’s shriveled ween? I could have sworn I heard that.

Did you hear it, FCS?

Eh – Reagan “lost” the first debate to Mondale, and look how that worked out.

You know it was a bad performance when 30 minutes have elapsed and you haven’t received a donation request from one single Democrat.

Obama emails: “I hope I made you proud out there explaining the vision we share for this country.”

Well, ummm…

@blogenfreude: I don’t see Obama blowing a 130-vote electoral lead over this. But it did suck.

Noj, post a linque of Tweety’s head exploding. I would but I’m too drunk.

@nojo: I’m sending 5 buck tip anyway to make up for the romkneeChipotle stiffing

@nojo: I liked it better when Bill Clinton explained it.

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: I’m on Sierra Nevada Porter #5 of a six-pack, so I’m not much help. Also, not sure it would be as much fun removed from the moment.

Hola Stinqueros, checking in.

Sorry, I can’t read 109 comments right now because I’m in the middle of doing work until about 1 am, I missed the debate, all I know was I got text messages from multiple people asking “WTF is happening to Obama??” or “Romney is looking pretty good” or “Obama sucked ass tonight.”

/When I stopped hyperventilating, I told myself to go back to document review…I’ll check back in around 2 am PDT and read ya’ll’s take then and probably really start hyperventilating.


Ugh. I was trying to study on campus, and people all over were watching the “debate.”

Hurricane of lies aside, how could anyone listen to Rmoney’s whining, aggravating voice without going completely mental? This was a “win” for him? He sounded like someone’s asshole boss from hell, which he is.

Biden Implores Obama To ‘Rub One Out’ Before Debate

“Look, Barry, you need to keep your head in the game up there, and you sure as shit can’t focus if you’ve got a full load flaring up inside you,” said Biden, telling Obama he should feel free to think about the first lady, “Jill [Biden], or whoever pops into your head while you’re polishing the ol’ Capitol dome.” “Hell, I must’ve yanked the crank a good eight or nine times before my debate with Sarah Palin back in ’08…and a few times after, too…”

@mellbell: Heard somebody on CNN postulate that the whole “zinger” thing was a premeditated head-fake. Deliberately leaked disinformation to put Team Obama off the scent of the real strategy and engender complacency and overconfidence. Hard to believe they could be that crafty, but it kind of worked.

@SanFranLefty: Once you get through your 130 comments here (anticipating the 2AM count) . A slightly less wordy survey and summary for your early morning reading enjoyment.


“This has become a race between a man who knows how to knot an exquisite tie and a man who doesn’t.”

Which is which? It looked to me like Obama went with a simple four-in-hand which struck me as a bit casual for a president of the United States in a formal televised debate. Romney’s half-windsor seemed more appropriate, avoiding the stuffiness of the full windsor.

i thought jim lehrer was dead, i was right.
i dream of smacking that stupid grin off mitt’s face, my palms are itching.
gonna go kick something and throw stuff. still upset this morning. what happened to the country i loved and left? again, i will assert my opinion on the one thing that will bring us back to a democracy:
CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM. i object to only rich douchbags getting a shot.
yes, i’m a dreamer, but i’m not the only one.

@libertarian tool: As ever we had the president wearing a perfectly proportioned tie in a soft, flattering color, flawlessly knotted and pleated as it should be. And Romney wearing some garish rag, too narrow, no pleat, and the knot too small for his collar.

If we learn nothing else from this campaign can we at least learn how to tie a tie?

@Benedick: can we at least learn how to tie a tie?

I’ve lasted this long without that knowledge, and I don’t plan to start now.

I think I’ve worn a tie maybe five times in my life. I’ll have to consult the record.

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