“When Rep. Frank Pallone (D-N.J.) read the part of Article II, Section 1 mandating that only a ‘natural-born citizen’ may be president, the woman, seated in the front row of the public gallery, screamed ‘Except Obama, except Obama. Help us Jesus.'” [Politico]

We once ran 31 candidates for University of Oregon student-body president. We still have the ballot. But it doesn’t hold a candle to this.

He’s Really On There [TPM]

Damn, glad we got BozoGate in before this dropped…

Democratic Virginia House candidate Krystal Ball (yes, that’s her real name) went on the offensive Wednesday after racy photos of her surfaced online this week.

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Our afternoon guest columnist is Thomas Wright, author of “The Fisherman’s Catch: A Conservative Bedtime Story.”

The original concept for this story came about in October of 2008 while trying to figure out a way to talk to one of my co-workers who could not understand why I felt taxing one group of people more than another was morally wrong. I finally came up with a story about a fisherman in a small village long ago that discovered a new way to fish with a net. He caught many more fish than before and became wealthy. A few men from the village decided to force the fisherman to spread the wealth. They went up with rocks and clubs and told the fisherman to give them half his catch each day for ‘the good of the village’ and thus the first government was born.

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We don’t have time this afternoon to, y’know, read the Explosive! GQ post on college dropout Rand Paul, but if Politico’s good for anything, it’s mainlining the buzzy part:

The strangest episode of Paul’s time at Baylor occurred one afternoon in 1983 (although memories about all of these events are understandably a bit hazy, so the date might be slightly off), when he and a NoZe brother paid a visit to a female student who was one of Paul’s teammates on the Baylor swim team. According to this woman, who requested anonymity because of her current job as a clinical psychologist, “He and Randy came to my house, they knocked on my door, and then they blindfolded me, tied me up, and put me in their car. They took me to their apartment and tried to force me to take bong hits. They’d been smoking pot.”

Well, let’s knock down that rumor right now:

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“San Francisco could soon have what is believed to be the country’s first ban on the sale of all pets except fish. That includes dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, rats, chinchillas, guinea pigs, birds, snakes, lizards and nearly every other critter, or, as the commission calls them, companion animals.” [SFGate]