Just Slip a Tongue Under the Tree

Damn, glad we got BozoGate in before this dropped…

Democratic Virginia House candidate Krystal Ball (yes, that’s her real name) went on the offensive Wednesday after racy photos of her surfaced online this week.

The photos, which were taken at a costume party, show Ball wearing a Santa hat and a leotard (she’s on the right, here). In some of the photos she appears to holding a leash attached to the neck of a man she identified this week as her ex-husband…

Ball, 29, says the photos were taken six years ago, just after she graduated from college, and she accused her opponent, Rep. Rob Wittman (R-Va.), of releasing them on the Internet as part of a smear campaign.

Wait, wait, wait — her opponent released them? As a smear campaign? Dude, you don’t know the American electorate. Or at least the portion that we count among our readership.

Dem candidate fires back after racy photos surface [The Hill]

The only “smearing” this is likely to cause is when voters have to wipe off their screens…

“The Lusty Lady Goes to Washington”

Of course this might matter if she ran on a “fambly” values platform. Not that she had much of a chance to begin with in her predominantly Red district.

Speaking of hawt photos, does anybody else notice Celibabe *leering* at Pastor Trucker Hat at 0:41 here? She looks like she’d like to “get under the spout where the glory comes out”, to use Oral Robert’s phrase from a while back…

@al2o3cr: You know this guy is doing a decades long stretch someplace for kidnapping, child rape and mayhem.

What is she doing in the picture. If she wants to taken seriously, we need to see video of her eating the other woman’s face nice and slowly.

Krystal Ball? She shoulda seen this comin’. ‘nuk nuk nuk.

@¡Andrew!: Naw. You get the rimshot for that winnah.

@¡Andrew!: Do you do bar mitzvahs?

And seriously – this is the smallest of bumps. Fuck the photos, and go after the Republican with something big.

Wait, her name is Krystal Ball?

Two thoughts:
(1) Mom must have been one hell of a Dynasty fan
(2) Or her parents had a sick sense of humor in naming their children that rivals Texas Governor Big Jim Hogg naming his daughter Ima.

@al2o3cr: She’s longing for the second coming.
@SanFranLefty: And if the daughter of the governor married the author of The Bridges of Madison County she’d be Ima Hogg Waller.


ADD: Grrr. font size= tags don’t work, either.

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