Happiness is a Warm Puppy Ban

“San Francisco could soon have what is believed to be the country’s first ban on the sale of all pets except fish. That includes dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, rats, chinchillas, guinea pigs, birds, snakes, lizards and nearly every other critter, or, as the commission calls them, companion animals.” [SFGate]


Meanwhile, Mayor McDreamy has proposed warning labels on cell phones sold in Ess Eff and a ban on all soda machines in the City.

And people wonder why we’re the laughingstock of the country?

I have really mixed feelings about selling dogs and cats in pet stores. it can sometimes lead to really really bad conditions for the animals as well as puppy farms.

not sure a ban is the way to go but I am happy to see someone wrestling with the problem.

@SanFranLefty: My favorite line from the story:

“The real problem, staff said, is hamsters.”

Sure. Blame the hamsters. Just don’t come crying to us when you’re locked out of your server account.


People buy the high-strung, nocturnal rodents because they’re under the temporary impression that hamsters are cute and cuddly. But the new owners quickly learn that hamsters are, in fact, prone to biting, gnawing through expensive wiring and maniacally racing on their exercise wheels at 2 a.m.

Sounds like an accurate description. Jus’ sayin’….


well it sounds silly but this

People buy the high-strung, nocturnal rodents because they’re under the temporary impression that hamsters are cute and cuddly. But the new owners quickly learn that hamsters are, in fact, prone to biting, gnawing through expensive wiring and maniacally racing on their exercise wheels at 2 a.m.

So the animals end up at the shelter.

is totally true.

@Capt Howdy: We’ve established that Nojo is definitely nocturnal. I don’t know if he’s gnawing through expensive wiring and maniacally racing on an exercise wheel at 2 am. I’d say the former is more likely than the later.


1. Gnawing on wiring includes embedding a navigation controller inside a view for a tab controller, so yes. Remember, kids: Start at the stack root!

2. Maniacal racing is dependent upon client deadlines.


The programming jokes are hilarious. They get funnier every time.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain…

Time to die.


horror fans:

seen Quarantine? I thought it sort of sucked BUT. last night I saw REC 2. and found out that Quarantine was based on REC. a spanish language film. never saw it but REC 2 is fucking awsum.
how long has it been since you saw a scary movie that was really scary.
I mean squinting and thinking “ooooo I really dont need to see this?”

netfilx REC 2


You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down… It doesn’t make any difference what desert, it’s completely hypothetical….Maybe you’re fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise, Nojo. It’s crawling toward you…You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Nojo. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.

I mean: you’re not helping! Why is that, Nojo?

They’re just questions. In response to your query, they’re written down for me.

@Capt Howdy:

Noted. You are my go-to guy for the horror reccos, by the way.

@nojo: I’m a complete fan of Blade Runner, especially the director’s cut. I recently read Philip Dick’s “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” and I think it would make a great movie. It wouldn’t look at all like Blade Runner but there are aspects of the book that go far, far beyond the scope of the film.

@Dave H:

did you know that the title Blade Runner is taken from a William Burroughs book? he is even credited for the title.
his book has nothing at all to do with the film. in the book which takes place in the typical Burroughs future population growth has exploded to the point that medical care is illegal and so are doctors. but they still operate under ground. but is is to dangerous to carry the tools. so there is a second person who comes to the site to meet the doctor with the doctors tools. that person is called the blade runner.

@Dave H: I’m still waiting for the non-Vangelis cut.

Some good news for once:

“I ain’t going anywhere,” Steele declared. “I’m here. I’m here… Look, every time something happens, people go, ‘Oh, you should step down, step down. Well, the reality of it is that’s not happening, so stop the noise on that.”
The RNC chairman did not apologize for his latest remarks, but quipped that his “individuality” at times puts him at odds with his party. “[It] gets me in a little trouble — but that’s O.K.,” he said.

Oh, Mikey. Don’t ever, ever change.

Oh please please please please please, please:

Why has Michael Steele said so many weird, embarrassing things since becoming chair of the Republican National Committee? Maybe because he’s going to run for president, Politico’s Roger Simon argues. Democratic presidential candidates—even victorious ones—haven’t won a majority of the white vote for decades. (They usually win by combining an overwhelming majority of black voters and a large minority of white voters.) As a black Republican, Steele could win much of a typical Republican’s white voters and carve out a bit of Democrats’ slice of black voters. It would be a way to defeat Obama next campaign. Sure, Steele has said some goofy things, but 2012 is a long way off. And he’s already setting himself up, by calling Afghanistan a war “of Obama’s choosing.” He may be mocked as unserious, but political history is littered with serious losers, like Michael Dukakis and Al Gore. “So when you look at Michael Steele, you are not seeing a man wildly blundering,” Simon says. “You are seeing at a man running for president. It just looks like the same thing.”

@Mistress Cynica:
if brains were black powder Rober Simon couldnt blow his nose.
having said that I dont think its impossible that Steel is considering running.
I think the base would have something to say about it but . . . .

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, Mikey. Don’t ever, ever change.


Oh, right. Never mind. As you were, citizens.

I noticed *gerbils* are noticeably absent from that summary… ;)

Non-Vangelis cut?! HERESY!

I’m going to be pissed if I wake up in 2020 and cheezy synth music isn’t playing everywhere. :)

Very good ban. Close the puppy mills. Buy from a responsible breeder or go to the shelter. Yes I do get more pompous, as you all know, but it’s hot and I’m sweaty. And not in the good way. So back the fuck up.

@Capt Howdy: Scariest movie is the German Funny Games. Scares the bejeesus out of me.

@nojo: Blame the Hamsters! The new rallying cry.

@Mistress Cynica: Stop the noise! Don’t pet the panther! Palin 2012!

@rptrcub: Holy.Fucking.Awesomeness. You just made my day, cubbie.
You and the judge.

ADD: From the article:

Both Bonauto at GLAD and Healey at the Attorney General’s office urged Tauro to apply heightened scrutiny in considering whether the federal government had any legitimate need for DOMA. Heightened scrutiny requires the government to come up with a fairly significant reason for treating gay couples differently under the law. In both cases, however, the judge said that DOMA failed to meet even the most simple judicial review, rational basis — in other words, there was no justifiable reason to the federal government to treat same-sex couples.

::scurrying off to find a copy of the opinion on Westlaw::

Not on Westlaw yet, but found one of the decisions (Gill v OPM) on the court’s website


how could I have never heard of this. I just added both the german and english versions to netflix.

for once the american version looks better than the original. Naomi Watts and Tim Roth and that kid who does a creepy psycho better than anyone.

So Stinque Legal Eagles, Gheyz, and anyone else with an opinion on this:

What do you think are the odds that the Obama Administration is going to appeal these two decisions to the 1st Circuit?

@SanFranLefty: Yes. They’ve defended another DOMA challenge, if memory serves me correctly.

@Capt Howdy: No. No no no no no. It doesn’t come close. See the Germans. It’s a great cast. Watch out for the dog.

@rptrcub: Thanks for the heads- up. I got my people on it.

While the rest of the world is watching LeBron James, the Bay Area will be watching the 4 pm verdict announcement in the trial of the BART police officer who shot and killed an unarmed man and determining how much of the East Bay will go up in flames during the subsequent protests…

@SanFranLefty: 98%

@Mistress Cynica: I recently attended a meeting of the state GOP’s African American Club (stop laughing) and even they think (i mean it; stop laughing) Steele is an embarrassment. Also, that club is about as large as you think it is.

@SanFranLefty: Just saw the video. Holy hell. Twelve people bought that defense? Guess they’ve never seen a Taser before.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:

I never understood the “I was only gonna tase him” defense – from the video, it’s pretty clear that even doing *that* successfully would probably have been flirting with jail time for the cop. Tasing somebody who you *and* your buddy are SITTING on seems pretty inappropriate…

@al2o3cr: Exactly. Where the fuck was he gonna go with two cops sitting on him while handcuffed?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @al2o3cr: The DA didn’t prove the mental state for murder 2 or voluntary manslaughter. Based on what the reporters said was presented at trial, the prosecution just didn’t prove the mental state. The defense attorney did a good job raising reasonable doubt on those two possibilities, and all but conceded involuntary manslaughter. Jury reached the right decision based on what was in front of them.

@SanFranLefty: really, isn’t it the right decision, period? Let me test my memory, I am gonna go on the Model Penal Code definitions, murder 2 is a purposeful act with knowledge off the likelihood of causing death? And voluntary manslaughter is a purposeful act, with knowing disregard of the possibility of death resulting?

I know cops, and I know their mental state when they are beating a perp. They are committing the crime of torture, they are intentionally inflicting pain and suffering, as punishment for the perp disrespecting their authority. They have no intention to cause death, and in fact, they are often very careful, in their minds, not to cause injuries that would evidence their intention. Thats why they like the taser, they can zap someone, cause them extreme pain, and no tell-tale bruises, welts, and contusions from the beating they would otherwise have to engage in.

The way these charges were framed just buys into the fiction of what goes on after cops subdue a violently resisting arrestee. The cops claim they were just trying to use reasonable force to subdue a violent person who was a danger to the cops and bystanders, the legal analysis then focuses on whether the force was reasonable, or whether they were reckless or negligent in applying excessive force. So you look at murder 2, or voluntary or involuntary manslaughter.

But the charges accept the fiction that the beating or tasing was in good faith from the get go.

What is in fact happening, is the cops have purposefully and willfully decided to inflict severe pain and suffering on someone, with no necessity, as a deliberate effort to inflict some extra-judicial punishment. Thats a felony itself, its torture, and assault, and then, the fact that death occurred, even if the cops genuinely never had any intention that death occur, that makes it felony murder, which is a strict liability murder 1 conviction.

But that is never how they are prosecuted, because the prosecutors buy into the fiction that cops would never beat someone simply because they want to inflict a beating on someone.

Maybe its just impossible to prove that they were intentionally beating someone, knowing that the force was unnecessary, as a practical matter.

But the horrendous fact is, if you mouth off and get aggro on a cop, he will summon buddies and give you a vicious beating, in retribution, and if you die, they will all swear, it was necessary to control an enraged out of control maniac, and 9 out of 10 times, the jury will buy it.

@SanFranLefty: I just have to add, its the right decision, based on how the charges were framed, accepting that some level of force was justified, it becomes an argument over whether they were knowingly disregarding the potential for death, or reckless or negligent in their mistake as to the decision as to how much force to use.

The prosecutors never even try to present the real facts, that they intentionally used force, not to subdue, but to punish. Once you prove that they were intentinally trying to hurt someone, with no legitimate intent to subdue, then its felony murder 1, even if they really didn’t mean to kill, just to hurt.

This all sound to arcane, too much hair-splitting? Thats just what the defense wants, to confuse the jury, a jury that is confused, how can they ever think something has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt?

Look at this crazy monkey.

TJ/ Shout out to LOVERS OF LADY BITS (special pics for Chainsaw, H/Ts to Lefty and Bloggie).

Everyone Likes a Good Stuffed Pepper or Women of Exceptional Beauty and Health. Got a Ginger for you, Chainsaw…


Allow me to split more hairs.

You said: “The prosecutors never even try to present the real facts, that they intentionally used force, not to subdue, but to punish.”

I say: Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.

This was the first time in like 30 years that a cop in California had been charged with murder for killing a person. I can’t remember the exact timeline. I thought it a little odd that when the case was filed the Alameda County DA’s office (let’s just say they’re a bunch of hardasses and not put in the same boat as the San Francisco “Six Pounds of Pot is Personal Use” DA’s Office) said that they were pursuing Murder 1 and nothing else because it was so clear cut (wink, wink, nod, nod to our buddies the cops at BART and the Oakland PD / throw a bone to the African-American community because we sound like hard-asses). It wasn’t until the end of the trial when the state and the defense filed their motions in limine that the prosecution put murder 2, vol man, and invol man on the table. The judge threw murder 1 out before closing arguments, saying the DA didn’t even come close to proving that. I was shocked the DA filed the MIL – would have been a neat way to hang it all on the judge, though it would have meant another trial if it had all been thrown out.

All this said, allow me to climb on my soapbox. What the Oscar Grant case has been from start to finish is a sad, sad, sad, fucking story. A parolee who was in a fight at 2 am on BART on New Year’s Day who was mouthing off to cops. An aspiring baker/rapper whose daughter, like many other little girls in Oakland, now has no daddy. A semi-yahoo white dude who wanted to be a “real cop” or go in the military and who had been given his Taser a month earlier with minimal training. A transit force that had not been well-trained yet were issued guns (why the fuck do BART cops need guns was the question in my office after this happened) and tasers that were stuck side by side on their belts. And tasers look and feel a lot like guns – something I’ve never understood about tasers.

Given my line of work, I can’t help but just shake my head and be bitter about all of this and channel my gallows humor. Oscar Grant, statistically speaking, had as just as probable chance of being killed at 2 pm while walking to the taco truck by the Fruitvale BART station as he did at 2 am while mouthing off and fighting with cops on the platform of the Fruitvale BART station. And had the former occurred, he would have been lucky to get two lines of attention in the San Francisco Chronicle and his murder would have gone unsolved and unremarked upon, much like those of the three men who were murdered at various times in 2009 while standing at taco trucks near the Fruitvale Station. Oh? You don’t know about them? Why not? Maybe because they were day laborers and their killers were from the same neighborhood and witnesses were threatened to not snitch? But their blood runs red, their mothers sob and wail, too. Are their deaths any less profound than that of Oscar Grant’s? Apparently they are so routine that it takes three dead before the police notice a pattern.

I’m not saying what happened to Grant and his family was right or deserved. It was terrible and they will never have him back. He is gone. But there are hundreds of families in Oakland and elsewhere who cry tonight because their sons, brothers, nephews, uncles, fathers, cousins, and daddies were killed – sometimes through no fault of their own, sometimes in a grayer world like the situation on the BART platform. Whether it’s an altar boy or a gang banger, the death of a young man is a death of a young man. It doesn’t reduce his family’s pain. So it troubles me that the fixation on this one case does nothing to address the cancer that is destroying entire generations of our society. The cynic in me says that this case is something that gives the eee-lites of our world a way to channel the anger and hostility of a giant underclass of our society on one small (in the scheme of things – obviously not to Mr. Grant’s family) incident, and keeps everyone from questioning the underlying problems that are going on and that allow us all to be blase when a 23 year old black kid from Oakland is killed and the person who pulled the trigger is *not* a white cop.

@JNOV: that was fucking awesome. thanks for a happy break from thinking about oppression of an entire generation of young men.


(No Cristina Hendricks, though? I heard Chainsaw has a thing for her and Elisabeth Kucinich)

@SanFranLefty: Thanks! I will keep that in mind for future posts as we go vegetarian up in here. There’s a local Ginger vegan chef that would make FCS swoon. She’s also a wee bit annoying, a shill for Whole Paycheck, but I’m going to make her fresh pumpkin pasta with pesto sauce withing the next few days.

Brief change of subject: I have to admit that rather than being on the Outerlimits of Badassitude, I’m afraid I’m in the Inner Circle of Lame. I didn’t go see that Challenger today (too damn hot), but upon further reflection, I’m thinking the grill looks like a 2008 Challenger. Ugh. So, I’m relinquishing the wheel until I get my shit straight, and I will no longer diss anyone’s ride. Even beaters.

@JNOV: W/r/t your second paragraph, I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.

Run like the wind from trustafarians who work at Whole Paycheck. Plus run double-time from vegans. I love vegetarians, I was a quasi-vegetarian for two decades until I went to Argentina, but vegans drive me fucking nuts. I just look at my malnourished vegan coworkers with osteoporosis because “milk is eeeeevvvvvvilll” who can’t lift the five pound ream of paper to refill the copier, and I want to shove a wedge of brie down their throats and tell them to STFU and build up some bone mass.

Trust Cook’s Illustrated and Epicurious (the iPhone app that make my iPhone worth it). I have a shit-ton of recipes around my house so if there’s something you’re looking for (red! vegetarian!) let me know. The Moosewood cookbooks are a good source for veggie recipes – my three cookbooks from them are splattered and worn out.

Query: Isn’t “professional anarchist” an oxymoron like “clean jumbo Gulf shrimp”? Per the Chronic:

The violence was contained within a one-block area near Oakland City Hall by an army of police officers in riot gear, and officials said the main instigators appeared to be professional “anarchist” agitators wearing black.

Mr. SFL sez: “Why don’t the anarchists just go to Haiti?”

@SanFranLefty: I only like a couple of things Christina makes (her show is on Local PBS — Christina Cooks). I MUST make her pumpkin pasta again and give her props for that, BUT I will also abuse her for her musical guest (some weird guitar dude) and the dose of woo she brings to the table.

Despite being vegan, she is A Woman of Exceptional Beauty and Health. She is sturdy. And she likes to cook with whole foods, which is pretty cool since most of the nutritional value of our grub goes down the garbage disposal.

Again, she’s nuts. She had a dread disease and claims that diet cured her. Well, I doubt it, but maybe it did — I’ll just say I’m glad she’s recovered. But I think her message of how she overcame her dread disease might keep people from seeking, oh, fucking science and shit. So, yeah. The pumpkin pasta is great, but she’s going to get mixed reviews on other things.

We can’t go vegan. Nayonaise is the nasty shit on the planet, and I LOVE CHEESE, so yeah. But I spent a couple of years smoke and meat free, and not that cereal and cheese sammichs kid of vegetarian. I researched what foods could substitute for animal protein, and there’s a lot out there I’d never known.

Oh, and Christina turned me onto all sorts of Asian food, esp varieties of Miso and seaweed, so I have to give her that, too.

So, yeah. I totally hear what you’re saying. I’m going to strike some sort of compromise and hit the oldest hippie slow food joint in the country . (They’ve got their share of woo, too.) Oh, and there’s this stuff called Tofu Scrambler that makes The Best Frittata Ever. I just have to check the sodium content.

I’d love to go all Paula Dean, but I WANT TO LIVE!

Yan Can Cook — that might be a treat for the lovers of smooth Asian hotties.

ZOMG! Then there’s Jose Garces. Might have to give him a shot.

So, yeah. Going food shopping tomorrow. We only have a chicken (gonna make Chicken Under a Brick) and some sweet Italian sausage left (orrichette (sp ?) with roasted pepper and broccoli). After that, bye, bye dead animals…

I’d love to join a CSA, but I haz no monies for that. I’m trying to talk a friend into splitting a share with me.

@JNOV: Totally do a CSA. Cut back on your ciggies, if that’s what it takes. Joining a CSA was one of the best things I ever did. I now go to the farmer’s market 4 days a week due to my proximity to the Ferry Building, but before then I was a CSA groupie. And it’s like Christmas – what the hell is going to be in the box and how am I going to cook it. And you can’t waste the produce cuz it’s so good.

@SanFranLefty: I hear you. But if I cut back on the smokes, someone is going to jail. Ugh.

BUT — I am pleased to report that I’m almost light enough to start running again without blowing out a joint. Remember that eucalyptus grove at Fancy Pants school? It had cedar chip trails, and it was heaven to run among the trees in dappled sunlight, full on sun and then total shadow.

My New Balances are still looking pretty good, so, once I start running again, I will quit smoking. It just sort of goes with the territory. All I have to do is find a nice trail (can’t do tracks or roads/cement/etc), so yeah. I’ll be a quitter soon. Hope it takes…

ADD: The Runner’s Handbook — best advice ever.

Asshat whiteboy Berkeley anarchists are setting fires in Oakland and broke down the windows of the black-owned/black-patronized Foot Locker at 14th and Broadway. Oakland PD are just standing there watching the idiot anarchists run out of the store with boxes of shoes.

Berkeley is such a fucking sell out town.

a dietary tip. did you know that a peanut butter and banana (yum) sandwich on whole wheat bread and a glass of milk has the same proteins and amino acid structure of a slab of dead animal?
i learned this from my fave splattered and worn copy of “diet for a small planet.” i’ve been a veggie, not a vegan, for 20 years. my last bone scan, doc said i have the bones of a 20 year old. gee, wish i could wear them on the outside.
on running. i ran for many years. destroyed my knees and bewbs. knees were scoped, bewbs were resurrected (not augmented!) run for a few years and you too will be able to tuck your double D’s into your pants.
on smoking cigs. disgusting and delicious.
hey! remember i posted my amsterdam seedlings in the club house? they’re taller than me now! they’re spectacular! will post……

@Promnight, Lefty: The cops in Mrs RML’s hometown of Las Vegas, New Mexico dumped the taser in the past few days after they had to pay – one.meelyon.dollerz. (or so) – in a wrongful death matter.

Girls can get them in pink, btw.

@baked: <3

Need coffee, etc. Will respond soon, too.

So fucking happy to see you!


Breaking Hard: you are about to have a new neighbor.
bakette and fam just rented a house in YOUR hood!
her hubby just landed a plum. he’s heading up the team that will appropriate the 100 mil barry just threw at delaware’s school system.
i’m so proud. and bakette is hoping to teach math and physics at harriton, her alma mater. you will end up seeing GSoB more than me !!!!
i don’t have any more details, she may be next door! small town!

@SanFranLefty: The second paragraph is a reference to the comments on Bloggie’s post where I was given the ultimate FCS compliment (I mean, when someone with the balls to post an animated graphic of Jesus Christ’s skeletal remains being skull fucked by a demon calls you badass, it kinda of could go to your head).

But, alas, I am not badass at all. I wrote I lost a 3-speed Challenger in a divorce when it was in fact a Charger (3-speed automatic). I may have mistaken the car up the street for a mistake late model Challenger, and I was douchey to Those Who Love the Boxter.

So, yeah. Badass? Nope. I’m a legend in my own mind, except for some other things I could post, but then we’d lose the Not the MSNBC Ad, too. Gotta leave something to the imagination. Or maybe not…

@baked: Ah, Harriton! TheTrue Gem of The Mainline. Even better than Baldwin, Shipley, Haverford School, Friends’ Central (holla!), Radnor (Jr’s alma) and fucking Lower Merion, although I hope those LM computer spies get sued into oblivion.

Does everyone know about the LM HS laptop spy issue? School officials remotely spied on HS students just for kicks. The ACLU is kicking their asses (GO, MARY CATHERINE! GO!). BTW, she’s also an amazing ginger.

@baked: Tell me about the lollipop lift. I’ve seen non-board-certified “plastic surgeons” fucking with the lady bits without a clue on Dr. 90210, but even a scintilla of a chance of losing sensitivity makes me think stuffing them in my sock is a better alternative. Feel like giving a review?


so much awesome! first of all, we have direct flights to philly, then a zip up the blue route..so no biggie about them leaving miami. it’s just 2 more hours on the plane. AND i’m picturing her starting with me about how “i smell like smoke” and saying ok, going to jnov’s..see ya.

review: sensitivity intact. a lift is a major tado compared to the simple augmentation where they just make an inch long incision then pop them babies right in. i stayed the night in bryn mawr hospital to make sure the morphine kept on dripping, but they underestimated my pain intolerance. i recall wanting to jump out of the window but couldn’t lift my arms. a saintly nurse kept me wanting to live and cursed the wretched doc for never properly preparing patients for the pain. that’s all i can share in public, but anyone interested–go to no one but J. Barrett Noone at brym mawr. he’s an artist and one of the pioneers of reconstruction. so he’s an old coot, get in while you can.
again…Sensitivity Intact!

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment