So it’s a few minutes before 9, and we’re at Stinque World Domination Headquarters, getting ready to walk the hundred feet up our hillock to catch the annual Fantabulous Sandy Eggo Fireworks Spectacular, where we can see all four synchronized displays at once, when there’s this Huge Fucking Rumble. We’re also across the freeway from the airport, and while occasionally a jet engine cuts through the still of night, it’s a bit odd.

We reach the top of the hill, where the usual crowd has gathered. Someone has a radio tuned to the synchronized music, which begins, as always, promptly at 9, and…

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

What we missed was the entire fucking Fantabulous Sandy Eggo Fireworks Spectacular going off at once. And, from a location similar to ours, it looked like this.

Fireworks Shot Off Early in Bay [NBC San Diego]

The 9 Best Headlines From “Conservative Teen” Magazine [BuzzFeed]

The Most Trusted Name in News, fronted by The Most Prominent AIPAC Alum, presents The Iranian Menace, starring The Fabulous Hezbollah Stormtroopers!

[via TPM]

“An investigative ‘Cold Case Posse’ launched six months ago by ‘America’s toughest sheriff’ – Joe Arpaio of Arizona’s Maricopa County – has concluded there is probable cause that the document released by the White House last year as President Obama’s birth certificate is a computer-generated forgery.” [WND]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxw4uZAezaI

Pete Hoekstra, last seen generating His Own Private Meme a few years back, is now running for Senate in Michigan, and spent $75,000 yesterday on a Very Special Local Super Bowl Ad:

Read more »

“CBS News and National Journal… are announcing a Republican presidential debate to take place on November 12 at 8 p.m. ET. It will take place at Wofford College in Spartanburg, S.C. and will be moderated by CBS Evening News anchor and managing editor Scott Pelley and National Journal congressional correspondent Major Garrett. The debate, the first on broadcast television, will focus primarily on national security.” [CBS]

Did you know Jon Huntsman has (at least) three daughters? Does knowing it give you inappropriate thoughts? Do the mustaches help?

[via Political Wire]