• An email this morning announces that you can win a Remington 770 — or at least the $460 to buy one — in a virtual raffle by donating $20.10 to Kokesh for Congress. “It does not require a majority to prevail,” the email quotes Sam Adams, “but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people’s minds.”
• Meanwhile, Michael Moore collaborator Meghan O’Hara is working on a documentary about the man who made Kokesh a star — “George W. Bush’s military service in the Texas Air National Guard.” And then she’ll jump into the Wayback Machine and release it in 2004, when anybody might have cared.
• We’d rather watch a documentary about why the “Gun Owners of America” opposes healthcare reform: “nothing within the bill would prohibit rabidly anti-gun HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius from decreeing that ‘no guns’ is somehow healthier.”
• Peronally alleged gun victim (and personally deluded presidential candidate) Lou Dobbs is “reaching out right now to Latino groups.” His campaign will list Purell as a major expense to ward off leprosy.

• “Everybody hates me,” says judge who hates interracial marriage. “Really. I don’t know why. I treat people, I figure, equal. I have one problem with mixed marriages and that is the offspring.” [Raw Story]
• Pennsylvania Republicans hate Obama, run ad with a hammer and sickle inside the O. [TPM]
• Balloon Boy’s family hates fags. [CBS]
• Everybody hates “illegal alien” Halloween costumes. Except Steve Doocy. [Think Progress]

• Alex Lange is among the millions of Americans who can’t get health insurance because of a pre-existing condition: He’s morbidly obese, “in the 99th percentile for height and weight” for people his age. Alex won’t diet, nor will he exercise. Alex is four months old. [Denver Post]
• Census Bureau screws up new fingerprinting procedures, may have hired temps with criminal records. Congressman Jason Chaffetz spares Michele Bachmann the trouble of pouncing on it. [TPM]
• Noam Chomsky anthology banned from Guantánamo, as if anybody could read it. [Miami Herald]
• Happy Indigenous People’s Day! [Daily Lobo]

Since he came up in the comments:

If a grad student needs a thesis project, might we suggest a comparative analysis of Firesign Theatre/Monty Python/SNL/Mel Brooks references we’ve deployed Above the Timestamp? We’re reliably informed that comedy did indeed exist outside the 1970s, but our mind is like Classic Rock for Geeks, an infinite loop of “And He Knew Not His Ass From a Hole In the Ground.”

And with that, let’s play Oddball Blogfill!

• That was your cigar smoldering in the ashtray! Iran’s secret nuke plant revealed; low-angle Times photo artfully disguises how much shorter Sarkozy is than Obama and Gordon Brown.
• Exit Left to Funway. Have we mentioned that Demrat fundraiser’s $292 million Ponzi scheme yet? No? Well, nobody else has, either.
• Land Shark! Banks oppose a new Consumer Financial Protection Agency, have yet to come up with a pithy line about how regulations will strangle your grandma.
• Crunchy Frog! “Fanged frog that eats birds” discovered in Southeast Asia. Guess we could have gone with a Dead Parrot there, but that would have been obvious.

See, we actually liked the Muppets on SNL. It’s not that they were funny — that would be a stretch — but that they were weird. So much of SNL was like that, until they built up a tolerance for the drugs. And then it became an institution.

All of which means it’s another slow news day, so have a link dump.

• Frontal Lobotomy. Health insurers are like beer companies, says Karl Rove. True — both give you hangovers.
• The Road to Idiocracy. Steve King (R-Cornhole) says gay marriage leads to socialism.
• Out Standing In Their Field. Fairbanks newspaper apologizes to Talibunny for “A broad in Asia”.
• Lunartown. Water discovered on Moon; Southern California immediately acts to divert it.

Since we have nothing better to do, and we may face other days like this, welcome to our new occasional mid-afternoon link dump. Because even we don’t want to see “Cock Teasers” at the top of the page every time we refresh it.

• Paul Kirk to replace Teddy? Too early for Star Trek gags, but we’ll stretch if we have to.
• Shhh! Eric Holder promises he won’t invoke the state-secrets privilege as often as Shrub. The Kinder, Gentler Bush Administration continues.
• Hong Kong Phooey. Talibunny remarks closed to the media, but since her speech was as tightly scripted as her Facebook page, you’re not missing anything.
• iPorn! Follow your favorite pestorkers on your iPhone! Oh, they’re clothed. Never mind.

Sorry, that’s the best we can do. Please, somebody out there, say something stupid.