“McCain, a veteran political leader with a military background, has demonstrated that he’s not conceding the youth vote to Obama. He has reached out to young voters in the ways they reach each other, through YouTube.com and with profiles on the social networking Web sites MySpace and Facebook.”

Don’t know about you, but someone should tip off Chris Hansen about that dude on the left.

McCain back in Ohio courting youth vote [Cleveland.com]

John McCain • Barack Obama [MySpace]

“Dig,” Ralphie was telling his homies at the barbershop, “he’s not gangsta enough, you know what I’m saying? Nigga’s only half Bro, but he’s all Oreo. Ignores his peeps so he can do a Tiger on the white folks, all polite and shit. Yes sir, thank you sir, your daughter is very beautiful sir although I wouldn’t dream of pleasuring her with my enormous mandingo that puts your shriveled stem to shame, no sir.”

“True dat,” said the homies.

“Dude’s no Jesse,” said Ralphie. “If I was him, I’d drop the Stepin Fetchit jive and take it to the hood. Stop letting those crackers tell him his business.”

“Word,” said the homies. “You da man.”

Nader: Obama trying to ‘talk white’ [Rocky Mountain News]

Other omens from 1992:

• Cookies
• 90210
• Heather Locklear
• Firefox
• Global Warming
• Quagmire Preparedness
• Hannah Montana
• Spelling Bees
• Gilded Age of Greed, Selfishness, Irresponsibility, Excess, and Neglect
• President Bush

Consumer Confidence Declines to a 16-Year Low [NYT]

Americans who pray and receive answer to prayer
at least once a month: 31%

• That girl in college who didn’t understand that I would have been the best thing that ever happened to her.
• Schwinn Orange Krate.
• 5 down, 12 letters, November 17, 1979.
• Kamchatka.
• Chuck Barris calling me to discuss my brilliant idea for a new game show.
• Hitting a high C with braces.
• Sideburns.
• Pulling an essay on “The Red Wheelbarrow” out of my ass.
• Floating to ceiling by laughing.
• 1980, 1984, 1988, 2000, 2004.

U.S. Religious Landscape Survey [Pew]

Don’t lie, America. We know what makes you happy.

Obama Moves To Reintroduce Himself to Voters [WaPo]

It wasn’t the dirty, it was the words.

Edgy comic George Carlin dies in L.A., aged 71 [Reuters]

Clearly the oddsmakers at BetUS are smoking crack, since Olbermann is nowhere to be found in their Dead Zone Betting Pool. Or maybe Brokaw also needs to kick before that happens.

Meet the Press: Tim Russert is still dead.

Face the Nation: Carly Fiorina, “RNC Victory 2008 Chair”, promises she’ll do for Republicans what she did for HP.

This Week: Red Cavaney, President and CEO of the American Petroleum Institute, demonstrates how he lights cigars with Benjamins.

Late Edition: Peter Bergen is “CNN Terrorism Analyst”. Our high-school guidance counselor lied to us.

Fox News Sunday: Chris Wallace convenes a gasbag roundtable to discuss wind prices.

Guests and topics subject to change. Also hosts, if you know what we mean.

MTP, FTN, This Week, Late Edition, Alien