Phyllis Diller, 1917-2012

Phyllis Diller dies at 95 [Entertainment Weekly]

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

“Fellatio is not a city in Italy.”

-Pretty sure it was Phyllis Diller and still one of my all-time faves

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

Heard this from an old PD interview on NPR driving home yesterday:

“Car insurance is so expensive now. Thank god for group insurance. i hit a group!”

“My advise for all new drivers: never hit the lead car in a funeral procession. i’ve never seen so many angry people! Especially when the coffin popped out – you’d think i killed the person!”

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