Horsies! Horsies! Horsies!

It’s time once again to dip in to the sea of possibilities.  Time to push our Autotote ticket clerk against the locker.  Yes, yes: the Fifth Annual Stinque Kentucky Derby Open Thread is now open!

As of this writing (around 1300 ET), your favorite at 9:2 is Union Rags.  Which makes sense, as this race (as is the case with most Kentucky Derbies) takes place in Kentucky.  The Baffert-trained Bodemeister stands at 7:1, and Gemologist from the outside is at 9:1.  The pros are saying that these are the three to beat.  But there is a threat of rain, though, so the twenty runners might send Racing Forms into the blender.  As is usually the case.  (Really — handicapping a twenty-horse race like this is just about impossible.  Unless I pick the winner.)

No wimmin in this race — either the jockeys or the horses under them.  Fan favorite Calvin Borel is down close to the rail, as is his wont, on Take Charge Indy (fourth choice, at 10:1).  I think that’s overbet, so I’m going with El Padrino, a great value bet at 26:1.  Put him with Gemologist for some nice exacta action.

And now: ALL RISE FOR THE DEGENERATE GAMBLER NATIONAL ANTHEM! (Doo-doo-do-do-doot, do-do-doot, do-do-do-doooot!)

13 comments:

5:10 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

I’m just here for the halftime show.

5:21 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Parties participating in the California primary:

Democratic, Republican, American Independent, Libertarian, Green, Peace & Freedom.

Most famous presidential candidate who isn’t Barack Obama:

Roseanne Barr, Green Party.

The only candidate who could upstage Roseanne Barr on a presidential ballot:

Mad Max Riekse, American Independent Party.

What happens when you try to visit madmaxforpresident.com:

403: Forbidden

This error message is generated when the web server is trying to access a file that does not exist or has been configured incorrectly

Home city for Mad Max Riekse:

Fruitport, Michigan.

Democracy weeps.

5:40 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

@nojo: Fruitport Michigan was my gay porn name, back in the day …

6:28 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Break a leg!

Oh. Right.

6:30 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Why are they holding a Derby on Marx’s birthday?

6:33 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Bodemeister, like many of us, shoots his wad early.

6:36 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

“Mario, you’ve thanked everybody but the horse.”

6:41 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Somebody at the OTB said at the top of the stretch run, “there goes the next Secretariat.”

Five seconds later: caught. Brutal pace did him in.

7:02 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Please tell me that Nojo didn’t stop watching before the owner of I’ll Have Another quoted Wittgenstein.

7:04 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

@lynnlightfoot: WHAT???!!!

I tuned out when the owner’s kid bragged about hot tubbing.

11:26 pm • Saturday • May 5, 2012

Ah:

In the winner’s circle, celebrating the greatest triumph of a very successful racing career, Reddam opted to quote one of those legendary philosophers in explaining how he went from studying the works of Descartes and Plato to studying the Daily Racing Form.

“Ludwig Wittgenstein said, ‘After all the philosophical problems have been solved, nothing of importance will have been accomplished,’” Reddam noted. “So we got into horse racing.”

True. But you don’t enter (or leave) philosophy for that reason.

2:03 am • Sunday • May 6, 2012

Aaahhh. Naaaahhhh. You’re all just a buncha freakin’ elitists proud of out-twittin’ each other. I’m outa here to take a deep breath. I’ll have another later.

Old fart at 71 Zafod

10:33 am • Sunday • May 6, 2012

My sister and brother-in-law live in Fruitport, MI. They have 2 goats and 5 chickens.

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