My Heart Belongs to Thoratec

Title: “In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir”

Author: Dick Cheney

Rank: 3

Blurb: “In his unmistakable voice and with an insider’s eye on history, former Vice President Dick Cheney tells the story of his life and the nearly four decades he has spent at the center of American politics and power.”

Review: “To those just here to grind axes against Cheney, give it a rest. If you haven’t read the book and you’re presuming to review it then you’re as dishonest, and as one reviewer called Mr. Cheney ‘vindictive,’ as you accuse him of being — based on nothing other than the comic book version of Cheney you’ve been spoon-fed by Democratic boogeymen merchants who always need a boogeyman to keep the Democratic base whipped up — whether it’s Cheney, Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, the Tea Party, the Koch Brothers and laughably now even John Boehner and Paul Ryan, and on and on.”

Customers Also Bought: “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far”, by Bristol Palin

Footnote: Not to be confused with “In My Time” by Yanni.

In My Time [Fuck Amazon]

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and waste
I’ve been around for some long, long years
Stole two elections and their faith
And I was round when Al Gore
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Scalia
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around Washington
When I saw it was a time for a change
Let Enron brown out California
Tom Daschele screamed in vain
Sent in the tanks
Wore a pretend generals rank
When Iraqi Freedom raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your Main Stream Media
Fought for two decades
Over stupid labels they made
I shouted out,
Who pushed up oil prices?
When after all
It was just old me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and waste
And I laid traps for ambassadors
Who get leaked before they reached Niger
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every Dem is a criminal
And all Republicans saints
As war is peace
Just call me Cheney
cause I don’t need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some fresh human blood, and some babies
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or Ill shoot you in your face, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, whats my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, whats my name
I tell you one time, you’re to blame

@Manchu: Damn. That’s some good stuff.

I wake to the news, meanwhile, that Sarah Plain and Dumb, at that Tea Party thing in Iowa yesterday, proposed a zero corporate tax rate. Yeah. Zero. You combine that with the antipathy to the minimum wage? It boggles the mind.

Sure. It’s all grandstanding. It will never get through any Senate worth the name (now, 2013, etc.). But this tears it. Between all of this sort of kowtowing to corporations AND the complete lack of awareness globally that Dick, Sarah and others cling to like a four-year-old hugs a teddy bear, I’m convinced that GOP victories in 2012 may just finish off this country.

Notwithstanding the HUGE disappointments, I’m in the bag. The alternative is not just unthinkable, but almost suicidal.

I endorse Black Eagle. God help me.

@chicago bureau: Watched the Chicago episode of No Reservations again last night – recreated the hot dog w/ celery salt, tomatoes, and pickle. Have you been to Hot Doug’s?

And I’m tempted to not even vote in 2012. Obama will win NY, Schumer, Gillibrand, and Nadler will be fine without me. There are only 2 or 3 real Democrats left – why should I bother?

@JNOV: The alt text seems like an appropriate blurb for this travesty.

@ManchuCandidate: Well done.

@Walking Still: And is it just me, or do the two floor lamps behind him in the photo look like altars of fiery offerings to Satan?

@SanFranLefty: Since you brought it up, I notice the whole cover has a “gates of hell” vibe.

@ManchuCandidate: We have to get you on the Daily Show. How’s your pitch?

Thanks for the warning about the Yanni title. I get these two guys mixed up all the time and the duplicate titles are just too confusing.

I spotted Darth Cheney’s opus on a rack at the local Kroger’s the other night, with a 40% off sticker prominently displayed on each cover. Funny thing is even at this bargain price the books weren’t exactly flying off the shelves. I’m assuming everyone already has their copies.

Listener takes from The Stephanie Miller Show last week: “Dick Cheney is so evil he has lampshades made out of Nazis. ” “Stop comparing Dick Cheney to Darth Vader – Darth Vader served in the military and fought his own wars.”

@blogenfreude: I’m with you. I see absolutely no point in voting in next year’s election. Sure, there’s an open Senate seat in my state, but the only viable Democratic candidate that doesn’t have a hole in the head just resigned from his job in disgrace thanks to Black Turkey.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment