Pretzel Logic

Subtitle: How to really fuck things up without trying.

Fucking bullshit:

Just got done watching a segment on CNN’s .

They had fucking Senator John Cornyn on spewing typical GOP bullshit. two points stood out:

(1) In the process of defending his opposition to repealing tax cuts for the rich, Cornyn continued this GOP talking point nonsense about investment dollars sitting idly by due to regulatory “uncertainty.”

Of course, no one on the show challenged this stupidity. Let’s face it: there is no more regulatory “uncertainty” now than there has ever been. Certainly no more than when Bill Clinton was president. The simple fact is: the reason investment money is sitting idly by is that we’ve got excess capacity and not enough demand. You can thank the recession for that.

(2) A very interesting twist on DADT: Sen. Mark Warner proclaimed himself a supporter of ending DADT and said that the upcoming Defense Deaprtment report on DADT is likely to show that the policy can be ended without harming military readiness. Cornyn’s response: the policy is not a military policy, but a congressional one. What this means is that after years of telling us that we need DADT because the military says it will suffer if the policy is repealed, the GOP is about to play a little game of switcheroo and tell us that what the military thinks about DADT is irrelevant because DADT a political issue, not a military one.

How sad that our press corps is so useless that someone like Cornyn can spit this shit out without being challenged on it.

It’s truly devastating the no one in that administration will ever be held accountable. I have hope that, maybe, the Dutch will detain, question, and try David Addington or something like that, but what are the chances?

TJ/ Okay, I couldn’t decide whether to have a Mad Men marathon today (I’ve read the synopses, but you know), whether to investigate this Caprica thing you guys talk about or whether to fall asleep on yet another Frontline special. (I’m caught up on House and Fringe.) Instead, I chose The Walking Dead. I’m only 13 minutes into the first episode, and I’m hooked. HOOKED! See you in a few days. After I’m up to speed on those other shows, too. Ahhh, escapism. With zombies!

OH NO! This is starting to look like 28 Days Later. >:-/

ETA: Okay, I totally forgive them. This looks really good.

@JNOV:
Caprica… dunzo. Kiled by SighFeh/Syfy.

@Serolf Divad: I don’t know how you can watch that stuff. Remember when certain journalists were feared? When sitting down with them meant you were going to be raked over the coals and made to face the gaps in your arguments? I do, at least vaguely. That all seemed to fall apart with 24 hour news and the need for “access”, which you can’t get if you ask real questions.
Now, we’ve got Jon Stewart and that’s about it.

@Mistress Cynica:

It is so unbelievably depressing. I was watching lunch and scanning the channels because Krugman mentioned in a column yesterday that he was going to be on “Meet The Press.” Didn’t find it, but did stumble across CNN. I watched, literally for all of 15 minutes before turning the TV off.

I distinctly remember at the height of the build-up to the War in Iraq, flipping through the channels one day and settling on “The Speed Channel” which was showing some sort of monster truck mayhem B.S. It was far less painful to watch that than to listen to the coverage of the buildup to the war on the major networks and feel myself slowly dying from the inside.

@JNOV: We’re into Bourdain’s No Reservations this weekend – amazing that foodie me had never watched it.

@ManchuCandidate: Yeah, but I can find it on alluc, project free tv, etc. That’s how I watched Firefly/Serenity. I also really need to see the new Battlestar. These are on my long ass list. I don’t torrent, but I stream from like China or N. Korea or somewhere. Eventually, you don’t notice the subtitles.

The Walking Dead — ALL FUCKING KINDS OF AWESOME! Slightly predictable in one part (and not the 28 Days Later homage), but really, really fucking good.

@blogenfreude: I like him. He’s pretty funny and easy on the eye.

It’s funny, I can trace parts of The Walking Dead to 28 Days Later and those both back to The Stand (the book and the pretty decent TV adaptation). There doesn’t seem to be a supernatural element in The Walking Dead like there is in The Stand, but there’s only so much variety you can add to Survivors Converging on One Site story lines. Like Jericho. Then Jericho turned into a dumbass soap opera. I see that potential for The Walking Dead, and I hope they avoid it.

The fun is watching the survivors’ journeys to that site. In The Stand, there were two sites, and I think there were other sites in Jericho. I’m hoping The Walking Dead will throw in some unpredictable twists and not be only like, “I was on my way, and I ran into a zombie. I killed it, and then I ran into another zombie. Then I ran into a zombie cluster. I got out of that fix, I got to the site, and shit! There were zombies there, too!” And on and on.

I’m sure The Stand can be traced to something else that I haven’t read or seen. Eventually there’s The Final Showdown, but I’m hoping The Walking Dead remains interesting before we hit that stage in like, (how long was LOST on?) six seasons. Alternatively, if those fuckers pull a TSCC/Cowboys in Space (AKA Firefly) on me, Imma cry and write angry emails.

@Serolf Divad: I’m on the speed fucking METAL channel now – Sirius XM.

I don’t watch “Meet the Lickspittles”, all I want out of the Bears-Viking game is a score with Favre doing down, and all the hunting shows are boring this afternoon (rednex hunting whitetails – zzzzzz). I’m just going to try to get a few hours in on a couple of project, keep the wolf away from the door.

As I was washing dishes this morning, I was thinking that I do not want to hear another goddamn politician telling us that “the American people” want this, that or the other thing. Fuck it. Except for a few holdouts it’s whatever the donor class wants.

“What is thy bidding, my master?”
– my boy Darth

Have all of you fixed the budget yet?

@SanFranLefty: Soak the rich. Next!

@nojo: I solved more than half of the deficit just by cutting the military and foreign misadventures.

@nojo:
Have fun dealing with an army of white fat angry orcs on rascals… er Teabaggers shrieking how you’re killing innovation in this nation.

We will solve the budget crisis by cutting all remaining arts funding. This could save many hundreds of dollars a year. Add to this the money squandered on NPR (or, as I like to call it NKPR) and we’re talking thousands. Oh, and plus all money for the poor who don’t deserve it.

I have jury duty tomorrow. I would like to thank Stinque Law for preparing me for citizen’s duty. When called upon I will exclaim Starry Dorisis. That should impress the locals enough to send me home without tying up the next four weeks with a case about some kid bludgeoning his parents to death then setting fire to the house to hide the crime. If, however, I am retained (I’m laughing as I type) I will declare that I cannot be detained because I am involved with a new work of Musical Theatre which will be unveiled to the usual bunch of hostile cunts a discerning audience in Dec. And as we all know, Musical Theatre trumps natural disasters, acts of terrorism, Marvel Comics, and nuclear war.

@Benedick: They won’t care. As an attorney, I don’t believe that I can tell you how to get out of jury duty, however. Some non-practitioners mat have some thoughts. I cede the floor.

I can tell you how to get out of jury duty.

Just tell them that you would believe a police witness over a civilian, or vice versa. Works like a charm every time.

That is if you want to get out of jury duty. It is your civic duty, after all.

@karen marie wants to know — Fucking integrity, how does it work?: Or I’m gay. I’m self employed. I work in The Arts. I have a shrine to Nancy Pelosi at home.

@Benedick: That sure as hell wouldn’t get you out of jury duty here.

@Benedick: I’ll starve if I don’t have 24/7 access to clients. Which is true.

@karen marie wants to know — Fucking integrity, how does it work?: I got on a jury for a case involving two counts of assault on a police officer because they only excluded people who were cops themselves or had close relatives who were. The jury pool is pretty weak in DC, so if you show up on time, don’t look a mess, and don’t have any obvious bias, you’re in.

@nojo and Benedick: Yep.

It’s Monday morning here in Beijing, people are hustling to their jobs, and yet you all are kicking back and watching football, raking leaves etc. I’m having a problem with this.

@Dodgerblue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAZgLcK5LzI

If it doesn’t get past the Great Firewall… It’s the Bangles singing Manic Monday.

@Dodgerblue: Oh, you’re mean.

ETA: How’s the air quality up there?

@ManchuCandidate: YouTube is blocked here, although the “Jesus Loves You” Not-The-MSNBC-Ad is not. Go figure.

@JNOV: OK so far. The local beer is not very good, tho. And local drivers totally do not give a shit about pedestrians.

@Benedick: In Oklahoma, on something like the case you’re describing, all you would have to do is declare your unshakeable opposition to the death penalty in any circumstances whatsoever and you’d be on your way home.
In civil cases, it’s harder. I got pricked for a jury even though I knew the attorney for one of the parties. However, I was so fucking glad to escape the HELL that was the waiting area where you were held captive while “Maury” played at unbelievable decibels (I had to take a couple of lortabs just to survive) that I was thrilled to be seated for a dull civil personal injury case.

@Dodgerblue: Cowboys won big over the New York Football Giants. Maybe Wade was the problem, after all. Broncos, whom I predicted in this space would lose this week, kilt the Chefs. I stand corrected. Also – with the big Vikings loss to Da Bearz, will Favre zip up his fly and go home?

Stillers v. Pahts kick off anytime now.

@SanFranLefty: How ’bout that ruthless end of game clock management by the Ducks last night?

@Dodgerblue: Consider yourself lucky about the YouTube block unless you enjoy The Bangles.

@redmanlaw: Seven10-Zeeeeerohhhhh!

On a tangentially related subject …

Remember that shootout at a courthouse in Nevada back several months ago? Turns out the shooter was “possibly upset about a reduction in his Social Security benefits.”

Apparently there’s been an uptick in the number of violent threats against SS judges. No surprise given a two-year backlog of two million cases and a bad economy.

@Mistress Cynica: Well, the other good out for jury service is to tell them that you have an anxiety disorder and couldn’t handle the stress.

Headline in the China Daily, English language edition: “Sperm Shortage Breeds Frustration”.

@Dodgerblue: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Sperm Shortage Breeds Breeding Frustration: Women Breathe Sigh of Relief

I’m not against serving. I’d actually be pretty interested. I doubt, however, that will happen. We shall see. I’m taking a book and an attache case stuffed with papers.

@JNOV: Regrettably, my vasectomy disqualifies me from relieving the intense, sweaty frustration of childless Chinese women.

@Dodgerblue:
Where have you gone, Mao Zedong?
A nation opens its horny thighs to you (Wu Wu Wu).
What’s that you say, Mrs. Lu Xuanji?
“Redbook’n’ Mao has left and gone away” (Hey hey hey, hey hey hey).

Um… apologies to DB if this causes the Great FireWall to ban Stinque in PRC…

That sound you hear from Over There is Beesko banging his head on the table over the Steelers, 23-4 Pats in the 4th.

@ManchuCandidate: Not yet! Mao is on the paper money here, btw.

@redmanlaw: Is Big Ben back at QB for the Steelers?

@Dodgerblue: Yup, and they have shut down his game tonight.

@redmanlaw: My hotel gets ESPN World Edition which is very light on US sports. However, the Asian games are all over local TV and I saw some awesome women’s badminton yesterday. Those gals can really whack that cock shuttlecock around.

@redmanlaw: Only upside is that the Stillers have historically played better in the playoffs against the Patsies when they don’t have the homefield advantage.

There were O-line adjustment issues today after two key injuries last week, meaning Ben got sacked (easily) and there was no running game to speak of. I have no idea what happened to the defense. My hero Hines Ward got hurt (concussion? not sure…), but Emmanuel Sanders filled in pretty nicely.

That’s what I managed to pick up from a few glances at the sat feed in our cafeteria, and yahoo game tracker.

@Dodgerblue: International sports broadcasting over here blows, unless you like cricket, footie and motor sports. Murdoch shows old Seinfeld and Friends episodes on Star. Be thankful you don’t have the five 24 hour Hindi channels; I always think of Mike Meyers when the swami is working his mantra.

@Nabisco: I saw some of From Here To Eternity last night with Chinese subtitles. What a great cast.

@Dodgerblue: And I saw Bridge Over the River Kwai last night. Still a great flic, although even more so now that I know it was filmed in Lotuslandia and that the scenes of the R&R hospital in Ceylon were from places that I now know really really well.

@Nabisco: Is part of your brief teaching the locals to play American football?

@Dodgerblue: I’m trying to work flag football into my dispute resolution curriculum, why yes.

@Nabisco: Good idea. When I was a kid and we played touch football, pretty much every play ended with an argument. “I got you with both hands!” “You did not!” Etc. We learned dispute resolution skills to keep the game moving and to prevent the kid with the ball from leaving in a huff.