Don’t Tease the Panther

Damn you, noje! I had to see this first thing and now I’m laughing too hard to do anything useful. But poor Kipling! What did he ever do to deserve his work to be read like that? I must brag a little – and you know that’s not like me at all – but I recognized the cadence without knowing the pome. There’s something about that rumpty-umpty-iddle thing he liked to do that’s as distinctive and monotonous as Emily Dickinson.

Don’t tease the panther, indeed. Sounds like the ghostwriter for the Left Behind series got another gig.

@Benedick: I thought it was a joke, like when NPR got the three famous movie voice over dudes on air to read promos for All Things Considered.

When he tells her not to tease the panther is it, like, a euphemism or something? Because the panther burns.

Oh Blue Oyster Cult

The dark times have come
Here but now they’re gone
People don’t tease the Panther
Nor do reason, the facts or the heat..we can be really nuts
Come on PEOPLE…don’t tease the Panther
People buy Goldline…don’t tease the Panther
We’ll be able to cry…don’t tease the Panther
People I’m your man…

@ManchuCandidate: +1

@ManchuCandidate: Excellent.

BTW. Do we now spell wobbling ‘wabbling’? Damn you again, noje, for adding layers to the stupid. You do know that Steve is opening an Apple store in Sandy Eggo? You know what that means? Stuff to buy.

@Nabisco: There is a blissful moment in first Left Bhind when the hunky he-man musclestud hero is introduced. Although he is incredibly butch and virile he is also chaste. He also doesn’t drink though he does know his way around a gun. Naturally he’s a reporter. But mustn’t be provoked by sluts in minis or he will go all cave man on their ass and it will NOT BE HIS FAULT. He’s named Snatch or Scoop or something by his admiring colleagues as a tribute to his mad reportering skillz. Which makes one wonder has the author ever met a real reporter. Or even another human being?

And yes, do not tease the panther. Not unless you’ve brought the tissues to clean up the mess.

I have to admit I get amused every time I see yet another new book by Beck or Palin or Coulter or any of the usual “celebrity” wingnuts. Do they really think the people who adore them on TV and on talk radio actually spend any time reading? There’s barely enough time in the day for the group hate.

@Benedick: You do know that Steve is opening an Apple store in Sandy Eggo?

Another one? The store in Fashion Valley — yes, that’s the name — is a quick drive from the Stinque World Domination Headquarters and Apple Museum.

@nojo: Sigh. You have the perfect life.

T/J: I beat my wife at Scrabble. This happens infrequently — she is a tougher opponent even than SFL, who just recently kicked my ass at Facebook Scrabble.

@Benedick: Your avatar — is that Rep. Gingham Shirt And White Pants? He looks like he has the I.Q. of a poached egg.

@Dodgerblue: That is part of the picture posted as part of the Is the Package Real or Enhanced discussion. See link on Pride thread. And he is my new fave Republican because he is fantabulosa.

That might be the worst trailer for anything, ever. I’m dizzy from watching it.

@Benedick: I saw that discussion but I could not tell, re package. By contrast, I think it’s much easier to tell whether a woman has had a boob job since the evidence is, you might say, right out there.

@Benedick: The only ducks I’ve ever seen in Sandy Eggo were wandering around the Fashion Valley food court one afternoon.

@Benedick: A surgically enhanced three-piece set is the stuff of nightmares. A well-placed sock or two might just tip the scales with Lindsey Graham’s new aide, Chad, who comes to the senator’s office straight from the winning all-state wrestling team. Well-done boobies, I’m told, can make a good thing better. Though I’ve really understood the need. However, I am not female in breast-mad America.

@Benedick: You cropped out the bewbs crushing his head.

@nojo: I was distracted by his waxed nipples. Yes I would hit it.

@nojo: WTF is with California mall names. Modesto’s Vintage Faire (pronounced fayr-ee??), and Fresno’s Fashion Fair. Midwest malls have bucolic or nature names, Village Square, or White Oaks.

@Benedick: Love the new avatar. I almost posted that pic of him by the pool to show as the counter-evidence to him having the ghey, but then I realized the photo didn’t really shed any additional light on the matter.

Speaking of men in shorts, World Cup Hottie of the Day was just posted.

@SanFranLefty: I agree it has a frat joque vibe but factor in the waxed chest and LOLs in the face of real live wimminz breasticles and we still need to see the shoes. The matchy-matchy nails it. And yes I would hit it.