Day Ten — Quien Es Mas Macho?

So the highly-anticipated Canada City v USA-USA-USA hockey game is tonight.  And, for once, I will not have a case of Olympics Overload.

Watching these games has been exhausting.  Compared to the summer version, the Winter Olympics have a wide variety of different types of Sport that I dig.  Skiing, speed skating, and the ever popular curling are chief amongst these.  But ice hockey, certainly, is number one.  And this matchup, as I have been pimping all week, is appointment TV.  (So, for that matter, is the Russia v Czech Republic matchup on right now on the Mothership.  As I write: after two periods, it is Putin’s Madmen 2:1 Fighting Havels.)  So full attention is paid by me, and here.

The depth of Team Canada is positively frightening.  Sidney Crosby, Joe Thornton and pals will be leading the attack, with Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook (teamed up here in town for the Blackhawks, to excellent effect) on the blue line, and the incomparable Martin Brodeur between the pipes.  The U.S. Americans are younger, and fast.  Phil Kessel is a stud.  Patrick Kane (another Blackhawk) can be a stud, but is prone to knuckleheadedness (silly stick fouls and such).  Ryan Miller (from the Buffalo Sabres) is your likely starter in net.  Game on MSNBC at 1900 Eastern.

[Speaking of MSNBC: one wonders why Keef is not a part of the proceedings here.  Dan Patrick and Cris Collingsworth have been here with the King of all Sport, Bob Costas.  Keith is stuck in 30 Rock.  Too hot to handle, perhaps.]

Elsewhere, there’s alpine skiing (with New Hampshaah’s own, Bode Miller), ice dancing, and other assorted goodies.  Notable: ski cross (NASCAR on skis, if it weren’t for the random right turns) and bobsled.  You look at the bobsledders, and they actually look like normal people.  In fact, some of them are full-fledged members of the Union.  (Brotherhood of Immense Gentlemen — Gut Union International, or BIG-GUI.)  Good to see.


I really wish I could watch the hockey game, but the cable-less will be stuck with today’s highlights and ice dancing, no doubt.
Glad to learn I’m not alone in preferring the winter games. Winter sports are so much more interesting to me than people running around a track, swimming back and forth across a pool, or displaying their eating disorders on the parallel bars.

BIG-GUI? Is that the new iPad interface?

CB, darling, bravo. Rest. The Sport lasts as long as the ice. A fleeting glimpse of glory given to Canadians by the cruel gods of reality till it’s snatched away by Spaniards.

BTW. Pay no attention to these incoherent posts by ‘nojo’. I have reason to believe that donkey-dick sucking retard Mike Lee is behind them. And by ‘behind’ I mean ‘Ron Jeremy’.

I was talking to a friend last night about Karma.

VanOC and COC (another unfortunate name acronym) and CTV made a big stink about how we were going to get a whole pile of medals and kick US America’s BIG GUI behinds all the way back to Seattle (at least.) Plus we (royal one) acted like a bunch of unsportsmanlike assholes (which indirectly led to the black cloud of the dead Georgian) and were called out on it/mocked furiously by one Stephen Colbert.

So far, many of our medal hopefuls have been knocked off and people who care about medal counts are getting upset.

Also, there has been a lot of talk of bad blood generated by the Canada City’s uncharacteristic unsportsmanship which makes me believe that we painted a bullseye on the Maple Leaf.

@ManchuCandidate: Darling, you’re ‘Canadian’. No one cares what you think. If you need proof look to the bajillion Canuk$ musical production of Turd of da Ring Bitchez. Who would care about such a thing apart from a deeply closeted ALW fanboy in his parent’s basement? If you want to extrapolate from this that I think noje might be fapping over 3rd season Golden Girls, well that’s up to you.

@Benedick: Look, pal, I’m too busy trying to get those Utah pigfuckers to vote for me to bother with hijacking accounts on third-string blogs. I also have to file stories for ABC News. I think. Did they fire me? Or did I retire? Shit, I need to call back Kaufman about that movie idea.

I’m ashamed about that too.

Well, it could have been worse. It could have been a Spiderman Musical (thanks Bono of U2.)

@ManchuCandidate: Right. So the Germans claim ignorance of the final solution. You say, oh I was just walking past this Ragnarok fiasco, I’m not responsible for the dancing Orcs. I don’t think so, Canada boy.

Hockey just makes me think of locker rooms. I mean more than usual. It’s a good thing.

@ManchuCandidate: A Canadian friend on La Livre des Visages just became a fan of “Were you dissing Canada? I couldn’t hear you over my health-care benefits.” Oh, snap!


1 shot and it’s USA 1-0

@Mistress Cynica:
I’m sure there will be a “We won more medals, morans. U-S-A!” Group starting soon.

@ManchuCandidate: I missed it because I was still watching Russia v. Czech Republic on NBC.

U-S-A!!!! U-S-eh?

Cana-d’oh! What a stupid giveaway!

[Speaking of MSNBC: one wonders why Keef is not a part of the proceedings here. Dan Patrick and Cris Collingsworth have been here with the King of all Sport, Bob Costas. Keith is stuck in 30 Rock. Too hot to handle, perhaps.]
Just be glad Fox didn’t get the Olympics. Ryan Seacrest doing the human interest stories, BillO’Reilly calling the hockey game, and Glenn Beck alternately gloating and weeping over the medal coun,.


Grinder’s goal.

US D isn’t all that good, but Ryan Miller is amazing.


Dumb giveaway. Brodeur’s stick handling sucks tonight. Good USA effort.

Cana d’oh.

Stupid penalties and Team US America takes advantage of it.

@ManchuCandidate: Couple friends of mine who are huge Sharks fans (i.e. season tix, personalized license plates) are a little stalkerish towards Patrick Marleau. I think they are cheering for Team US-Eh, though.

There’s basically an entire line of Team Canada City made up of Sharks.


Good play by Canada City. Doesn’t make up for the stupid plays that helped US America though.


Empty netter. Remote through the TV.

Karma’s a fucking bitch. Thanks you assholes at VanOC.

Canada City pulled him for a 6th player usually a desperation ploy when down by a goal in the last couple of minutes in the game.

I’m not surprised by this. Not really angry either about losing. It’s more the atmosphere created by the stupid VanOC and the Feds. I got the same sick feeling in 2002 when I saw Tie “Cement Head” Domi nearly take off the head of Scott Niedermeyer (Captain of 2010 Olympic Hockey Team) in the playoffs with about 5 minutes left in the game in which the Toronto Maple Loafs were beating the New Joisy Devils (David Putty’s team.) Joisy lost that game and then stomped the shit out of Toronto in the next two winning the series 4 games to 3 and going to the Stanley Cup Finals and winning thus killing best chance Toronto ever had of winning a cup de Stanley since I’ve been alive.

Canada ‘lost’? Color me surprised.

Blame Canada and their little snappy heads.

And the FCC for not letting Robin Williams say “Fuck” at the Academy Awards.

@SanFranLefty: I love Canada. I love everything about it. The tea and crumpets. The yearning to be a real country like, say, Burbank. I love how the ‘tough’ guys get dressed up like Nelson Eddy to go off chasing baddies. It’s adorable.

I love Canada too. The tea, the crumpets, the universal health care, the “eh” and “zed” – all of it but the cold. I almost was born there. My parents seriously considered defecting (moving? emigrating?) to Canada after my dad was drafted during Vietnam. My grandparents convinced them to not flee (grandpa the WWII vet thought it was unpatriotic) and that my dad should go ahead and enlist. So they were sent to Texas for the duration of the war. Not sure if Vietnam or rural Texas were worse in the late ’60s/early ’70s…

ADD: The Americans are ice-dancing to the Dixie Chicks?!?! But the Dixie Chicks hate George W. Bush. As much as this is cheesy, the Dixie Chicks are subversive.
Dixie Chicks FTW.

Bode Miller, y’all. Gold medal in an event that combines the extremes of Alpine skiing in the pedal to the metal of the downhill to the samurai-like fast cuts of the slalom. Most cats are good at one or the other. Miller was the best at both today. Not bad. Not bad at all.

@ManchuCandidate: The “Own the Podium” initiative actually resulted in a fair about of trespass, eh?

/Get off my medal stand!

@SanFranLefty: That ice dancing shit is so fucking weird.

And Apolo going from last to third last night for the bronze? Holy shit. Awesome. American wimminz in the late late coverage of speed skating last night were just out of it.

@redmanlaw: WTF is that new skiing event that features six guys going down the slope together? It’s like speed skating on snow. It’s freaking me out.

And Apolo rocks. Next cat or dog will be named for him.

Speaking of wimminz – could the Women’s Swedish Curling team be any more adorable? Probably not.

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