When Feral Pigs Fly

It has come to our attention that our thesis about the relationship of feral pigs to South Carolina douchebags was incomplete in its implication. Let’s study a fresh example and expostulate:

South Carolina will no longer recognize U.S. currency as legal tender, if State Rep. Mike Pitts has his way.

Pitts, a fourth-term Republican from Laurens, introduced legislation earlier this month that would ban what he calls “the unconstitutional substitution of Federal Reserve Notes for silver and gold coin” in South Carolina.

If the bill were to become law, South Carolina would no longer accept or use anything other than silver and gold coins as a form of payment for any debt, meaning paper money would be out in the Palmetto State.

Pitts said the intent of the bill is to give South Carolina the ability to “function through gold and silver coinage” and give the state a “base of currency” in the event of a complete implosion of the U.S. economic system.

“I’m not one to cry ‘chicken little,’ but if our federal government keeps spending at the rate we’re spending I don’t see any other outcome than the collapse of the economic system,” Pitts said.

One possible explanation is that the ratio of feral pigs to South Carolina Republicans is greater than the ratio of feral pigs to humans who would mate with South Carolina Republicans, leading to a breeding crisis that results in South Carolina Republican politicians. But applying Occam’s Rendering Plant, we find that too convoluted to contemplate.

Instead, we propose a simple and direct theory: The overrepresentation of feral pigs in South Carolina leads to cases of mistaken identity with South Carolina Republicans. Reviewing the anecdotal literature, we really can’t tell them apart.

Bill would ban federal currency in SC [Palmetto Scoop, via PoliticalWire]

South Carolina will no longer recognize U.S. currency as legal tender, if State Rep. Mike Pitts has his way.


thats threat is right up there with “there never has been and never will be any nude photos of Gary Coleman.”

Fucking hell. 2008-2010 will go down in history as when cray-zee bubbled up to the surface of US American society.

Hey, that’s fine but I think the IRS isn’t going to accept tobacco as legal tender.

Can we just let these yoyos take SC, secede and the put up a 15′ wall the whole way around the state? We could call it “Teabagistan” or something.

I was saying the same thing about TX the other day.
big wall.

then maybe we could invade them.

In related news, State Sen. Buttars recommends that the senior year be eliminated from Utah high schools.

@al2o3cr: I was going to play with a list of “Other Useful Suggestions for Solving Utah’s Budget Deficit”, but I couldn’t get beyond “Eliminate Traffic Lights”.

We have to carve out the islands off the coast, however. And Charleston. We can rename it Gayville.

I keep reading “feral pigs” as “fetal pigs,” which we dissected back in High School biology. I’m sure nowadays you can’t do that in a Texas public school because the fundies on the State Education Board don’t want hurt the fetuses. Not to mention it teaches the chillens about evolution and anatomy.

@SanFranLefty: We dissected kittez, which at first horrified me then entranced me. My lab partner was a DB on varsity, squeamish around the carcass dontcha know, so in exchange for a few staged encounters with cheerleaders, I did most of the slicing and dicing.

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