Day Four: Happy Now?

Well, everybody can shut up now about Canada City putting up an oh-fer in Montreal and Calgary.  Thank God.  Also.  Full fawning is in effect over at CTV-ville, here.

Meanwhile — USA Wimmin 12:1 Chinese Wimmin in hockey.  The PRC is just going to have to console themselves by buying another $2tn in T-Bills.  (And that wasn’t even the worst outcome.  Canada City 18:0 Slovakia.  That’s a goal just about every two minutes.  Pete Carroll should look at that and sob.) 

A helpful viewing tip: Olympic coverage is much more bearable when you can fast forward through figure skating prelims.  If I’m going to sit through athletes crying through their makeup, it had better be for a medal.  (DVR is also quite useful for fast-forwarding through the B.C. Tourism spots, from which I am now officially sick.)

The menu: ice pairs will wrap tonight.  We might have men’s downhill — including everybody’s favorite flinty guy from New Hampshaah, Bode Miller.  And snowboard-cross; whoever can avoid getting tackled halfway down the hill takes the hardware.


Caught a little bit of the figure skating last night after watching a “Mad Men” video. The German couple dressed up like scary clowns complete with teardrops painted on their cheeks skating to “Send in the Clowns” caused a few nightmares at Casa SFL overnight.

ADD: We’ve also been singing “Send in the Clowns” in Krusty Klown voices for about 12 hours.

I have so little interest I have not watched a single event, and as a result, I have nothing to criticize, nor to complain about.

@SanFranLefty: Please, please!!!!!!!

You make me think of a time I saw a big German bodybuilder in a gym in Miami showing a bunch of very short Cuban guys his posing routine set to the theme from Exodus. So much was so wrong.

@SanFranLefty: They could skate like all hell, though. Awesome athleticism. The married Chines couple were great. I did see one Russian guy who should have been penalized for his flowy peasant wear or whatever. Dude crashed early in the routine and left the ice in tears. His partner looked like she wanted to kill his ass right there.

Men’s downhill tonight. Hope it doesn’t conflict with Big Bang Theory.

ADD: Medal Ceremony for Women’s My Humps skiing – you see the Bronze medal winner with pink highlights having the time of her life belting out the SSB when it was playing for the gold medal winner? That was cool.

@Benedick: Portishead makes really cool weightlifting music.

@redmanlaw: The married Chinese couple were really good, I agree. My issue is that the outfits get all the more ridiculous and distract from the athleticism and fluid artistry, and they take themselves all too seriously. Makes Blades of Glory seem more like documentary than farce.

@SanFranLefty: Men’s downhill tonight will be awesome, per the ESPN radio report I caught in the truck a little bit ago. Also, America’s Sweetheart Lindsey Vonn (sorry str8 guys, she’s married – to her coach) posted the fastest time in a women’s DH training run today.

Working at home and have had Nordic events on since noon.

@redmanlaw: I thought it was funny that Pink Streaks was so excited about a song that wasn’t being played for her. Although, in her mind, it probably was.

@SanFranLefty: The fashion doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that the judges can’t seem to decide what is more important – the technical skills or the “artistry”. It not only changes from competition to competition but from skater to skater. The whole thing is bullshit; Pellitier/Sale changed nothing.

@redmanlaw: And Bode with the bronze! Still the greatest skier on the planet right now; early read out (“early” on my end, at least) is that had he gone with more daylight, the Live Free or Die Man would have downhilled to the gold.

@SanFranLefty: Sorry, ice “dancing” wouldn’t thrill me even if they wore nothing at all. It’s skating, which is athletic and all, and graceful, sure, but you and I know that it is just one step removed from Icecapades and then, gasp, Disney on Ice.

*sigh* Maybe I’m just still bitter that the ten y.o. Nabisco never got to meet Dorothy Hamil…

@Nabisco: I watched Bode and snowboarding, then I left the room when figure skating came on. It’s nice and all, but I’m not that ghey. Tell me when Johnny Weir comes on, then I’ll start watching. I want to see the fake fur number.

rptrcub: I am reliably informed that Johnny Weir’s long program is entitled “The Swan,” and is supposedly meant to invoke all the trials and tribulations of the past few years of his skating career.

Reason No. 472 why I hate figure skating, right there.

@chicago bureau: I used to hate the skating events, but Mrs RML got me watching it and while I am not the biggest fan, I really appreciate the skill, power and grace of the athletes. Seeing that Chinese guy do a walk through of his routine in the gym holding his wife up with one hand was really impressive.

Bode was all tranked out, it seemed to me. “Yeahhhhh . . . I’m reallly happy nowwwww.” Skied like an American Badass, however.

@chicago bureau: As a form it’s usually as drenched in kitsch as a guido in Axe on club night. But. As with sex. If you’re actually there instead of watching on the TV it takes on a different dimension. You hear the blades cut the ice. You feel the crowd on edge. I remember a time at Madison Sq, we went to see ex-Olympians in an exhibition extravaganza. One couple were doing the I-hate-you-so-much-I-have-to-throw-you-away-from-me-backwards-at-150mpph-while-turning move and the woman slipped and fell pretty hard. Big gasp. She got back up and they began to skate somewhat shamefacedly. I started to applaud wildly which spread like wildfire and pretty soon the house was right with them and you could see them grow. Then later John Curry, who sort of invented ice-dancing as we now have it, arrived in a copy of Nijinski’s costume for L’apré midi d’un faune which leaves nothing to the imagination and which was greeted by a collective gasp of horror at the sheer gayness of it. Which then triggered random bouts of booing. He stood there letting this happen then simply floated backwards with no apparent effort and within minutes had silenced the house. It remains one of the most impressive acts of daring on the part of a performer I ever saw. To say nothing of his skating.

He later tried to theatricalize the genre but there were endless problems with the ice in theatres. To say nothing of cost. And then drugs and AIDS brought it all to an end. But that night was quite something.

Speaking of gay (weren’t we?), last night I saw some of the gayest movie ever made ever anywhere. Yes, Catt, it was Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, which has the added distinction of being profoundly misogynistic into the bargain. So, double the fun. It’s about two whores who, dressed by Frederick’s of Hollywood, take a gay cruise to Europe. On the way they meet a lot of men with almost nothing on. And I do mean a lot of men. As some wiseacre said after seeing By Jupiter!, when the men are wearing less than the women you know you’re in trouble. We had to stop half-way through as I became concerned about its effect on the dogs. So we tuned to Sport of some kind – I think balls were involved – and yelled at the screen for a while and felt better.

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