Oh Thank Heaven

Do you swallow?Taking the pole position for Quote of the Day, American Family Association’s Randy Sharp condemns a convenience-store chain for stocking the Marge Simpson Playboy issue:

“It’s irresponsible of 7-Eleven to display porn in front of boys who pop into 7-11s for a hot dog or a Slurpee.”

That was enough for us to do a spit-take with our Big Gulp, but then we learned the name of Playboy’s new CEO: Scott Flanders.

7-Eleven targeted for selling ‘Simpsons porn’ [Raw Story]

Is Playboy even considered porn anymore?

I’m guessing the AFA’s coffers are low and they need to mine their flock of dummies for more squeezing green.

Boys with hot dogs deserve distraction-free Slurpees.

Apparently the AFA hasn’t heard of the internet, or they’d realize that the odds of a kid paying for porn in ANY form, much less at 7-11 are pretty small.

Also, is it just me, or does the use of words like “pop into”, “hot dogs” and “Slurpee” all sound like some kind of bizarre sex code coming from the mouthpiece of a conservative group? I think the scandals of the last few years have left me reading literally *everything* said by conservatives as a double-entendre.

@al2o3cr: Also note the gender-specificity. Do only boys pop into 7-11s for hot dogs and Slurpees? I think not. Aren’t they worried about protecting the innocence of future lesbians as well?

Young men across America are abusing themselves while gazing at a cartoon drawing of Marge Simpson.

@al2o3cr: I docked them points for not saying a wiener and a Slurpee.

Surely it’s only fair for Groundskeeper Willy to pose for Playguygirl. He’s ripped and packing.

Speaking for myself, I would prefer a gatefold with Marge’s twin sisters Selma and Patty

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment