The Road Behind

We cashed all the deposits.

A year ago today, we switched cars in the parking lot. 2008 had been a long, strange trip, and we were due for a final turn before finally reaching the Interstate. 1,500 posts and almost 50,000 comments later, the ride has been so smooth you could trim a baby’s dick.

We’re sticking with January 19 as the official anniversary of Our Collective Adventure, so no need to buy gifts. Although if you insist on running up a tab using our Amazon Kickback Link, we won’t stop you.


IIRC, I commanded the Surfing Division of the HFA. Headquartered in Santa Monica, CA, we also have troops in place in West Hollywood, Silverlake, San Francisco, the East Bay, San Diego, and Tofino, B.C. (where I just visited — those crazy fucks go surfing in water so cold it will kill you in 20 minutes unless you wear a full wetsuit).

We are all Ducks this weekend. Rennie’s in Eugene got a plug on ESPN radio as a great place to watch a game. I’ve tipped a few there back in the environmental lawyer days.

I was the Code Talker unit (kill before capture) in the HFA before the old soldier faded away.

I got Mrs RML’s Mac thru Amazon. That must have been worth at least a six pack for the effort.

Ex Member of the Canada City Regiment of the HFA.

Going back to school for alumni weekend this morning. Won’t be back till Sunday. Probably won’t be functional till Tues.

Limey Effete Airborne Division reporting for duty.

Just finished a big piece of work and can now get out in the garden. Bought two nectarine trees, five big hydrangeas, and am shopping for bulbs. Then I paint doors and refinish the kitchen floor. Woohoo!

We still soldier on and play bingo at the VFW. Love, the first armored hirsute brigade. Besides, where’s Generalissimo HF?

congratulations from a new recruit.

prommie have you seen this

and all hail the Homo Devil Machine.

To all, you know, I had no idea where I was or what I was doing, I went on vacation, and all the people from W I liked best had gone away, but as soon as I was told where the new playhouse was, I was there. I didn’t know about HFA at all, but here I am, I guess I am the HFNavy.

The 42nd Mouseborne Rice Queen Brigade weighs in with a hearty “Hay Bitches!”

Pins and needles today, if anything happens, it will happen now, the Friday before the quarter ends.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: May FSM hold you in the pasta palm of her saucy, noodly appendage.

@rptrcub: I know right? Fucking absentee fathers…

Happy anniversary all!

No business entity with the status of a person better fuck wit our ‘Catt.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Grab those assholes by the lapels and tell them the truth – that they are fucked without you and they know it.

@homofascist: Welcome back, Captain Pike.

And let’s hear it for Mr. Scott and the hardest workin’ hamsters in show business down in the engine room!

@flippin eck: Chaplain corps?

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Cattt always trumps Mouse. Will be sending good thoughts your way.
@homofascist: Hail, Generalissimo! Your Fashionista Commandos salute you.
@redmanlaw: Woohoo!! Go Scotty and hamsters.
@Prommie: If I recall, baked was trying to track you down in every bar in the Caribbean, O Admiral of the Fleet.

Had to share this thought for the day from the late, great George Carlin: “Think about how stupid the average person is. Then remember that half the population is dumber than that.

3rd Pennsytucky division, Guns ‘n Bitterz Regiment, present and accounted for. Tomorrow we march across the Mason-Dixon line, with every expectation that crucial supply lines between Baltimore and DC will be secure by nightfall. Rum stocks are in good order.

All this regimental talk!! Hard & disciplined individuals ready at the command. Recalling Drinkyclown all hawt in his sailor outfit last October Stinque Jam. The Land of Lincoln Drunken Brawl Brigade reporting.

where bouts?
signed, stranded in Champaign

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I’ve got all the dogs praying that you get through the end of the fiscal quarter intact. Go, Catt!

Oh, and I want to say thank you to nojo in a very special way. I was thinking of sending him Charo sings the Complete Andrew Lloyd Webber Songbook but I can’t find it at Amazon. Do any of you have a spare copy? Baked? Capt Howdy?

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken: You would think the ALW meme would get old, but it honestly doesn’t. Every single time, I crack up. Kudos.

@Prommie: I stand in awe of Charo.

@flippin eck: I don’t know about you but every time I hear that pompous name and think of that little toad-man it’s irresistible.

But I shouldn’t go there. He’s one of nojo’s heroes and I respect that.

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken:

After all, the man did write Music of the Night. And keeps a straight face every time it is performed…

One of you denies me
One of you betrays me


I DO like Superstar. That I do like.

Seriously, no snark.

@Capt Howdy: F-ingham. Big Corvette FunFest this weekend at YagerLand. Lots of middle aged pompous asses in their expensive extensions of their deficient manhood…IMO.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: hola, ‘catt! I took a Stinque sabbatical.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: And Superstar’s the only ALW musical I know. Besides, Benedick nailed me on Chorus Line some time back — I’m surprised he hasn’t followed through on that.

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken: I don’t recall including an expiration date on my threat to post that DeLay’s Arse close-up.

(And wtf kind of word is “expiry”?)

@nojo: Kisses, kisses, hugs and thanks. For keeping us all going through dark times and bright. The bright being that Wednesday in Feb 08 – No, tell a lie, Thursday – No, wait- – –

Well there weren’t any bright times. Apart from the odd unicorn sighting. All the more reason to offer thanks to you and the hamsters of doom. If you were here I would pour Chablis and sing to you. Something along the lines of (all together now…!):

I don’t know how to lurve him.
What to do ha di horm im.
He’s a man. He’s just a man,
But when his trousers empahisze his butt
It makes me need him bad.
Just like his dad.

I would suggest that my lyric is as good as anything Time Rice ever rote.

PS. A Chorus Line. Don’t think it didn’t register. But we all come out in our own time. And I respect that. I do.

Again! Five, six, seven eight…!

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken: Playing in the pit orchestra for Man of La Mancha with its tunes in 6/8, 9/8, 13/8 etc. primed me to appreciate the odd meter metal of Tool.

@redmanlaw: … the odd meter metal of Tool. Nice. I have no idea what it means but nice.

@redmanlaw: I usually give up beyond Brubeck and Lalo Schifrin.

50,000 comments in one year?

Fuck, did we get anything done?

Granted, it was an election and Talibunny year.

/Bay Area Commando

@redmanlaw: 2-4-6-8-who-do-we-appreciate?

I got as far as … yadda-yadda something ‘see’, which was to rhyme to ‘infancy’ and, with the greatest respect went command-w on its ass.

But don’t mind me. I’m on my holidays. I was in the garden today and it was bliss. I dug holes to plant nectarine trees and found sleeping baby snakes. Tomorrow I will do weeding. And I will plant many daffodils, including thalia (my fave white) Winston Churchill (double, cream and yellow, and heavily scented) the original poeticus, which makes me swoon from the perfume and elegance of its form as well as the knowledge that it was grown in Greece. Lots’o’tulips; Angelique, double, pink/white; and Queen of the Night, near black, elegant, slim; and others; species; elegans.

Was just outside with dogs to see first winter sky of the year. Bright stars and morganatic cloud visible. Should I bring in the orchids from the porch? What do the toads do in the winter?

@SanFranLefty: Fuck, did we get anything done?

Nope. And the amazing thing? Nobody noticed.

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken: I eagerly await the arrival of the bulbs I ordered. Mr Cyn will probably be less than excited when I announce how many there are to plant. More daffs, of course, ( and I love thalia and winston) but a ton of snowdrops, winter aconite, and bluebells. Love the early bulbs. Here they can start as early as Feb. And I still have roses, lots of them. They’ve been blooming non-stop since early May. I freaking love this climate.

@Dodgerblue: Commander, present and accounted for. The Eastside is secure.

@nojo: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


I was there when Anne Marie Cox was cutting her baby teeth, and have followed you merry band of drunks and sodomists around ever since. You have kept me laughing, and most importantly, sane.* Thank you.

*with a special nod to a splendid chap, (who, at this very moment, could be playing with his bulbs), for graciously dealing with a drunken Cassandra’s creative crisis.

Now I’m off to read the other posts, and bang my head against the wall.

@Benedick says Keep on Fucking that Chicken: They’ve had a hard freeze in the Durango area, and back at the ancestral home also. Tool’s not for everyone, You can hurt your neck trying to headbang to all the time changes.

@Mistress Cynica: I’ll ask Mrs RML about whether she wants more bulbs thrown in this fall. I like the see the daffodils poking through the snow in Feb/March. My major task over the weekend will be to make the fence higher to keep the dog from escaping. I’m thinking about hog wire or the lighter grade green garden stuff. Might also help keep the burglars from hopping over the back fence.

@SanFranLefty: Or “Ghetto Defender” like the Clash song.

@redmanlaw: You can never have too many bulbs. I thought you couldn’t grow daffodils where you are. Oh. And dog fence: ever consider the buried/wireless/shock collar? We had one put in and it was amazingly cheap. Only one of our dogs needed it but he learned within maybe 5 days and it has been a blessing ever since.

@Mistress Cynica: I was going to buy a tonne of bulbs from White Flower Farm but the shipping was $52. So I bought from a local nursery instead. And I got almost everything I wanted apart from the alliums. I might have to break down and buy online. My reblooming roses are reblooming all over the place. When I get up close I see pairs of Japanese beetles cuddling in the hearts of the flowers. Plus, our fall colors are well under way.

It was 100 degrees in LA yesterday with the Santa Anas blowing. Only the Mexicans are tough enough to work outside in these conditions.

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