The Buccaneer Stops Here

I got parrot poop on me hat!Title: “Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why You Should Raise Your Kids As Pirates, and 101 Tips on How to Do It”

Author: Tim Bete

Rank: 337,553

Blurb: “If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates, but just don’t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy The Butcher MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers.”

Review: “I also enjoyed the sections on ‘Your pirate’s progress,’ that has lists for you to check how quickly they are growing as a pirate by what they are saying. Such as:

You can flog me but I’m not eating creamed spinach.

If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?

I’ve buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes.”

Customers Also Bought: “Midwest Life Stages Double-Door Folding Metal Dog Crate”

Footnote: Saturday was Talk LIke a Pirate Day. Disneyland must have been hell.

Guide to Pirate Parenting [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


Or Disneyland was flooded with Johnny Depp look alikes who acted like Keith Richards.

I can see it now – skull and crossbones disposable diapers, rum-flavored baby formula – the sky’s the limit.

See above posting on Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition. Is our children learning? I think we can safely say they are. Bless them, mateys. Aaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhhh!

Oh. And fuck Johnny Depp.

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