The Buccaneer Stops Here
Title: “Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why You Should Raise Your Kids As Pirates, and 101 Tips on How to Do It”
Author: Tim Bete
Rank: 337,553
Blurb: “If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates, but just don’t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy The Butcher MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers.”
Review: “I also enjoyed the sections on ‘Your pirate’s progress,’ that has lists for you to check how quickly they are growing as a pirate by what they are saying. Such as:
You can flog me but I’m not eating creamed spinach.
If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?
I’ve buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes.”
Customers Also Bought: “Midwest Life Stages Double-Door Folding Metal Dog Crate”
Footnote: Saturday was Talk LIke a Pirate Day. Disneyland must have been hell.
Guide to Pirate Parenting [Amazon]
Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]
Or Disneyland was flooded with Johnny Depp look alikes who acted like Keith Richards.
I can see it now – skull and crossbones disposable diapers, rum-flavored baby formula – the sky’s the limit.
See above posting on Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition. Is our children learning? I think we can safely say they are. Bless them, mateys. Aaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhhh!
Oh. And fuck Johnny Depp.
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0