The Clinically Insane

wOw

Remember back in the day, when we all had “answering machines” and could record then re-record special outgoing messages on tape so that there was actually some decent fidelity to them?

Well I still have one. And going to dig it out, record HenPeck’s shrill “Getoffmyphone!” on it and use that the next time we’re on vacation.

Fidelity is in the ear of the beholder. Voice mail on my iPhone is digitally perfect … and yes Beck sounds even more fucking insane than he would on tape, which can be Nixonianly ‘erased’. I use to think O’Reilly was the sickest schmuck snaking his way through life. Beck obviously doesn’t have a life so he gets to be even slimier. Sicko.

The money shot is at about 3 minutes in if anyone wants to skip the foreplay. Caller is talking about health care.

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: I just may have a new ringtone for all my clients.

(Although I am partial to Ride of the Valkyries.)

@blogenfreude: Actually, the one that made me fall off my chair was at 3:29 when he screamed like a 2 year old.

@nojo: Sell it on the iPhone app store for 49 cents and it will pay for Stinque’s servers and a new laptop for Yoda Pez.

@nojo: Michael K had the same idea.

@blogenfreude: Fine, fine. Doesn’t matter. Just posted our version above.

@nojo: Not that it wasn’t a good idea, mind you. It’ll probably be singing out across the nation tomorrow.

Having listened to it till I could stands no more, my idiot’s take is that she hit Shrieking Mormoni’s emotional 2ft exhaust vent no bigger than a womprat (sorry for the Star Wars geek analogy.)

Stupid lady. He cares. He cares so much that he’d rather see trillions go to the rich (like him, for reasons I don’t get) and not to regular US Americans who have to suffer.

@blogenfreude: We’re in luck. Michael K merely suggests it. We’ve created it.

@nojo: We are godz.

In other news, we might need to buy a few of these.

@nojo: And you, naturally, have informed Herr K of this?

@nojo: Yes, but do you have banner ads for “Sugar DVDs”?

I thank you for the new tone; see how long that takes to irritate my unpaid co-workers.

ADD: can you just shorten it a wee bit to that last, shrieking “getoffmyphone!” That’s the money shot. kthxbye

@mellbell: Ran out of steam. And looking now, I’m not sure adding a comment after three pages will do much good.

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: Maybe. But now we nap.

@blogenfreude: Silent Creative Partner has Comic-Con tix. I’ll see whether I can get him to bring back some swag.

@nojo: Tips line? Probably not much better, come to that.

@nojo: Oooo rad, set it as your ringback so that anyone who calls you gets to hear it!

FlyingChainSaw, come in. Freep Show accept your post? Please advise. Over. [static]

My dog is apparently smarter than I am. She walked out of the room when Beck’s voice went up an octave … or 3.

Its always so odd to me when stupid people act condescending to people who are smarter and more well-informed than they are.

In the end, it was an ego injury that set him off, nothing to do with the healthcare discussion, he got mad because she did not know that he was against the bailouts of the finance injury, its only when she suggested he had no problem with the financial bailouts that he lost it. She was a pinhead, in his mind, not because of her position on healthcare, but because she did not know he was against the financial bailouts.

I actually found his calm condescenscion prior to losing it much more disturbing, as I said, I find it so odd, when idiots condescend to the intelligent. It makes me laugh, when idiots do it to me.

Thats the point where the response is “I don’t think those words mean what you think they mean.”

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: My cat ran into the bedroom, and she’s not even scared of thunder.

Hey, here’s an interesting TJ; the army officer-birther who is suing to prevent Obama from ordering him to Afghanistan? Well, in May of this year, he formally volunteered to go to Afghanistan for a year. He is a reserve officer, and he was never ordered to go, he volunteered, just 2 months ago, and after he got the orders he volunteered for, then he sued, and then he “un-volunteered,” if you volunteer, apparently, you can rescind your decision any time prior to deployment.

Staged circus by whackjob birther, start to finish.

@chicago bureau: [crackling hiss] Chicago Bureau [crunching static] . . . a negatori, CB. I checked [machine gun fire] and nothing has been posted to the General/Chat forum since I submitted. [crackling hiss] Nothing at all posted in Freep by TheTruthByGod when I did a site search. [crackling hiss] Considering Plan B – posting on Little Green Footballs and Hot Air. [crackling static] Can you assist, CB? Repeat, can you assist. Over. [crackling hiss]

All this crunching and crackling is making me hungry.

@Promnight: Spineless twit. If he were really a patriot, he’d be happy to bayonet islamofascists no matter who is president.

@Promnight:
Birther lost his civy job. Brilliant tactical maneuver.

@chicago bureau and FlyingChainSaw:

I love you boys. This exchange just made my week.

FlyingChainSaw: That’s a negative, big poppa. Don’t want to mess with the right-wing smokeys. Only disco balls I want to see are on Dancing With The Stars. And at father-daughter dances. Got us a Republican Senator for the one next month when I go off line for a few weeks with the better half.

Looking for pinholes on my eyelids. Gotta catch some Z’s. Out. [static]

[NB: We live to serve, SanFranLefty. Mind you, he was going for combat radio signal, while I was looking for something along the lines of (natch) CB radio. Not to say that your eighteen-wheeled community wouldn’t get into armed conflict now and again. But anyway — glad to make you smile.]

@chicago bureau: That makes it all the more entertaining and cuter* – FCS was channeling “Saving Private Ryan” and you were channeling “Smoky and the Bandit” – yet it all came together.

*I know it will destroy your rep and FCS’s to have me use the word “cute” to describe you. But I use it with great sincerity.

T/J, Report on the Economy Dept: we received 366 resumes in two weeks for a job as a legal assistant for me and two other lawyers. This is a relatively low-paying job at an NGO.

@Dodgerblue: How many of the applicants for the legal assistant position had J.D.s and were members of the CA bar?

@Dodgerblue: Speaking from personal experience, support staff is the first to go when big firms have to cut back. Laying off associates makes the legal news, while getting rid of the paralegals and secretaries does not. Then they use the threat of unemployment to get the remaining staff to take on all of the extra work for no additional pay. Dead-weight partners/shareholders are the last to go.

@SanFranLefty: @Mistress Cynica: What is both puzzling and pathetic is why people don’t take 60 seconds to customize the cover letter to the position being sought. I work for a non-profit enviro NGO. The resumes that say “I can proactively add value to your company” go instantly to the “no” pile and stay there.

@Dodgerblue: Every store at the mall (we really have only one little one) had big signs screaming about huge marks downs between 25 and 50 percent. One store was closing. There is actually a corner vacancy on Santa Fe Plaza. I think we have a ways to go to pull out of where we’re at. On the bright side, Son of RML is gainfully employed on Saturdays sweeping up at the hip and cool hair saloon for a skater guy, and is now cutting weeds in our parking lot.

@Mistress Cynica: We downsized staff by attrition three years ago and it’s worked out well for us. I have not heard about how the slowdown has affected the legal community here, but I’m in a real niche where I don’t see many regular lawyers much. All lawyers are partners here now, so I have no associates to exploit. We eat only what we kill.

@redmanlaw: I survived the bust of the late ’80s at an OKC firm that laid off about 25% of the secretaries and paralegals two weeks before Christmas. My workload went up enormously and I was billing probably 10 hrs/day, but of course I was salaried and got no overtime. Not that I’m still bitter.

@Mistress Cynica: If you worked for us, you would have gotten a big fat bonus at the end of the year.

@Dodgerblue: The one time I was permitted to help hire a paralegal at my last job, a bunch applicants attached glamour shot-type pictures to their resumes and cover letters. Needless to say, those were automatically put in the “no” pile along with the resumes with spelling and grammatical errors.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: We get psychos and New Agers here.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: A very weird thing, among others, about applying for internships while studying abroad in Germany was preparing a Lebenslauf (resume) which included a headshot, my date of birth, and my marital status, all par for the course there.

@mellbell: Lots of places outside our borders, in fact. Made me a bit uncomfortable when I was hiring, because I had to go out of my way not to pay attention.

For me, however, deal breakers in Asia were email addresses: hot4africans@hotmail (very close to an actual one) pretty much went straight to the “no” pile.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: Yeah, resumes with headshots go direct to the “no” pile. Same with those that misspell the name of my NGO — you’d be surprised at how many of those there are.