Remember when I said that all the GOP has left are sociopaths, the home-schooled, and the clinically insane? You’re going to see that demonstrated next week when the tea parties shift into high gear. A preview from the Huffington Post:

Hundreds of tea party protests are scheduled in cities and towns across the country for tax day (help us report on them!). But the curious don’t need to wait till April 15 to get a sense of what these protests might be like.

Take note of all the grownups dressed as teabags (they’re supposed to look like they’re in stocks):

michelle_malkin2mid-sizeOf course there is no one better than Michelle Malkin (Our Lady of the Concentration Camps) to stir up the fluoridated-water crowd:

“Get ready for the anti-Tea Party sabotage and smear campaign” For the next 9 days, the left-wing blogosphere and left-wing clueless pundits will hammer away with their unreality-based Tea Party smears.

And on the ground, the tax-subsidized and Soros-subsidized troops are going to try and wreak havoc every way they can. Many readers and fellow bloggers have seen signs that ACORN may send in ringers and saboteurs to usurp the anti-tax, anti-reckless spending, anti-bailout message.

How does George Soros have time to make any money when he’s so busy fucking with the teabaggers?

Another video making the rounds shows a patriot in Ohio saying he’s told his accountant he’s not paying taxes anymore:



A few on the right – including eliminationist Charles Johnson – are starting to realize that the Republican party is doomed. John Batchelor:

What about the Republican Party right now? Isn’t it on radio and TV claiming to be the party of fiscal responsibility and American power? Bypassing the stupidity of these claims, I am on radio, on what is called right-wing radio, and it is easy for me to see that my loudest colleagues, who compulsively repeat the cant of Conservatism for Dummies, are not sincere students of the Republican Party but rather barkers, hookers, establishmentarian jesters, cultists, and, in the worst instance, just thatch-headed whiners.

That’s a pretty good description of promoters of the teabag douchbaggery.

The next week should be interesting.  John Cole:

The best part about all the attention the tea parties will get the next couple of days is that it will all be on film. The usual suspects are already trying to do damage control, pretending that they will have been infiltrated by no-gooders (who else- Soros funded ACRON!), but that is pure nonsense, and the country is going to get a good look at some pure, undiluted, right-wing crazy.

I can’t wait.  Stay tuned Stinquers.


Forgive me quoting this from the netz instead of writing it myself but it sort of speaks to this issue: one bunch of douchebags up to no good inspiring another set of douche bags too stupid to walk and chew gum.

Turns out the Sons of Liberty were not protesting the tea tax, they were saving their lucrative tea smuggling operation. See some of the Sons, specifically John Hancock, was illegally importing tea from the Dutch East Indies Company, bypassing British Customs and selling the tea in the 13 original colonies.

Now, there was a tea tax and there was a protest. And it was working. With the illegal tea available at cheaper prices the colonists had all but ceased purchasing tea through legal sources.

The British East India Company was not thrilled to have all this extra tea available in their warehouses. So they cut their prices. LOW…. So low, that the price of tea was now below the pre-tax price. How low was that? Lower than Hancock and Co. could afford to import illegal tea for. (and yes, I know that sentence is ungrammatical)

And that is how is the Boston Tea Party came to happen. It didn’t occur to stop the British from selling OVER-PRICED tea to the American colonists… It happened to stop the American colonists from buying CUT-RATE-priced tea.

Anyhoo, something like that.

@Benedick: I keep wondering how many of these 2009 teabaggers even know in which city the Boston Tea Party took place.

Expecting this crowd to know what was really going on in the eighteenth century is asking far, far too much. How many of them would be in favor of destroying Wal Mart’s stock so they could spend more for the same groceries at Kroger?

Anybody else see Gore Vidal last night with Bill Maher? Talk about an old liberal lion. This guy once attended a football game with Amelia Earhardt. They showed a movie of 10 year old Vidal flying an airplane for his dad to make a point about the safety of aviation. He said the Republican Party has existed as the party against everything since 1936.

Will a Tea Baggin’ party include a ping pong performance from MM?

Normally, I don’t beat a ping pong joke to death, but MM offends me where I will keep comparing her to a Po-City boom boom girl. It’s one thing to be a banana aka Yellow on the outside/white on the inside, but it’s pretty obvious that she just hates anyone not white. She’s a white racist bitter trapped in the body of a Philippine woman.

TJ/ apparently toys, milk and air pollution aren’t the only toxic things coming from China. At the rate this is going, it might be easier to just list all safe exported Chinese items.


@JNOV: Once again, Landover Baptist outshines the satirists.

TJ, this time for reals: FIRST PUPPEH!!!

His name is Charlie, he’s six months old, a Portuguese Water Dog, from a litter in Texas related to Ted Kennedy’s dogs.
According to The Obama Dog Blog and the LA Times.

Unicorn hinted that the puppy will make his debut at the Easter Egg Roll on Monday.


@blogenfreude: That splattering noise you heard was my brain exploding at the cuteness. Check out the drawing of the pupster on the Obama Dog Blog.

@JNOV: “In the old days, deluded pagans would gather round and hump like bunnies on Easter Sunday because they thought it would make their tomatoes grow faster.”

Only deluded because all sane people know that the tomatoes don’t go in the ground this early. Otherwise, carry on!

@Nabisco: Maybe in Pennsyltucky, but we planted our tomato plants three weeks ago here in NorCal.

@nojo: @Nabisco: I’ve been surfing around their site — pure gold! I made the mistake of emailing my fundie mom the Satan’s testicles page. Hopefully she’ll just read that part, laugh, and not move on, cuz if she looks around some, she’s going to get really pissed at me. She’s really touchy about the Old Time Religion, and I have to keep my mouth shut about my atheism. It’s not like I proselytize or anything, but she’s going to be pissed off that I sent her a website mocking her faith. And they do a damn fine job of it. Ugh. I think I’ll keep the ringer on the phone shut off.

@Nabisco: @SanFranLefty: Our tomatoes will go in soon — we have to be sure we’ve had our last frost. You Californians and your lovely weather! Boourns!

@JNOV: Um, don’t tell Mom about Sunday morning’s post. We’re unleashing our zombies upon the world.

@JNOV: Yes, I just hosted a couple of people straight off a plane from New York for brunch at our house. They were a little overwhelmed by the sun and blue sky.

@nojo: I’m going to take the Book of Job, because it looks like nobody else had started on that one. It will be less of the graphic violence of the Chainsaw style and more a socio-political critique/parable.

@SanFranLefty: 66 books, no waiting…

And plenty of room for different styles — there’s Chainsaw Deluxe, there’s Woody Allen, there’s Mel Brooks, plus whatever organic developments emerge. I expect it to go umpteen different directions over time, even if blood & guts is the obvious highlight.

And for me, that’s the fun: Watching what happens. It’s a very Warholian project.

Back to the post, I like the sign that says “Barney Frank, Get Your Hands Off Freddies Fannie”. Get it, because he is a FAG! Hilarious.

@homofascist: Which reminds me: Isn’t it eHarmony — forced by a lawsuit to offer its service to all, um, comers —that uses the Tim Gunn doppelganger in its commercials?

@nojo: I think so. I know they were forced. This is just going to bring more calls for me to work on my eFagHag project.

@nojo: Okay, I just finished Chapter 1 of Zombie Job. I have quite a lot to do before tomorrow.

@SanFranLefty: No rush — Sunday is the public launch. If we’re lucky, folks will be editing for years to come.

@JNOV: Yeah, them Californeye-yeah-hoos. I just got the soil turned and plan to put lettuce, radishes, carrots and beets in tomorrow (late start on those). The tomatoes and chiles will have to wait a few weeks.

@SanFranLefty: The zombie bible is the bomb. And to be perfectly honest, it gives me the opportunity to rediscover the mystery of all those fucking begats of my youth and finally have them make sense!

Off topic, but, did anyone see U2 on Letterman last night? Bono gave a big shout out to Joey Ramone. The anniversary of Joey’s death is April 15th. When Bono came out, and the whole group sat down to talk to Dave, at one point, Bono said “hey gabba gabba,” getting it backward, but I noticed and wondered what that was about. Then U2 played Beautiful Day, and towards the end, Bono started singing “rock rock rock rock rock and roll high school.” In the link, its at 3:40.

Then he sang a little thing, “Late at night, a stay awake thinking, remembering you, remembering you, and then said “Joey Ramone, and all the Ramones.”

Oh yeah.


@Promnight: Were they on again? I caught their recent five night stand for the new cd release (which I love a lot, btw).

@nojo: YESSSSS!!!

And how is it we missed this lovely nugget? Or did I just miss it?

@JNOV: I think you missed it, doll, you’ve been working too damn hard.

The Book of Job has 42 chapters?!? Who knew? Certainly not my secular agnostic Jew/Irish Catholic self.
Oy fucking vey, this will take me a while. I don’t know if I can achieve the narrative arc in the original, I’m cutting to the chase already and I’m still on Chapter 1.

I’m all for tea-bagging. Wake me up when the zombie hordes come not to steal my paltry pantry stocks but to tea-bag me. ‘Specially the HOT zombies!

@homofascist: I don’t like to claim him as of my kind. Asshat douchebag bank-lobby-bought spittle-spewing yeller-bellied congressman that he is. Still I hope he finds some solace bonking hot young interns or something.

@SanFranLefty: Crap. And why are you reading Job? And why am I still awake?

Cliff Notes version of Job: God and Satan are having a chat, and Satan tells God that the only reason Job worships God is cuz Job has such a cushy life; he has money, a nice family, stuff like that. So God says, I’ll prove to you that Job loves me no matter what. So either God allows Satan to, or he does it himself, one of them kills Job’s family, and Job still praises God, they take Job’s money, and Job still praises God, they give Job boils, yet he still praises God, and I think at one point he sits under a fig tree trying to get some shade for his boils, and God or Satan kills the fig tree, yet he still praises God. So, God wins the bet with the devil, and Job gets all his shit back and more, but not his original dead family. But he gets new ones, so all is well.

I think God allowed Lot’s daughters to be raped, but that’s a story for another day.

Chapters 1 and 2 of the Zombie Book of Zombie Job are now done. I have to go to bed now. I think Easter will provide inspiration for me.

@Pedonator: And not just because of some one-off catastrophe. God sucks as an idea.

Anyway, if I were God, why the fuck would I bother with testing the moral bounds of humans? Seems like there wunna be a point inn’t…

@Pedonator: I’m with you there. And the whole idea of Passover — that innocent first-born male Egyptian children that lived in homes that weren’t appropriately smeared with lambs’ blood were killed by God? I mean, “Yay! God killed them and not us?” Boourns to that. God is a friggin’ mass murderer. Pfft. Plus there’s no archeological evidence that the Hebrews were ever slaves in Egypt, and there’s no archeological evidence of the Exodus or the forty years of wandering the desert. Archeologists are starting to say that the original Jews were Canaanites who picked up monotheism over a period of time, and they created the exodus myth to create a common history. Religion. Meh.

@JNOV: I’ve made Job the operator of a hedge fund. Tell me what you think – I’ve only done two chapters so far.


When the insomnia hits at 3 am pacific, I’ll be back at it.

Job is the only book of the Bible I’ve read in its entirety, multiple times for a class on the history of modern thought that I took as a freshman in college. It was the lead in to nihilistic philosophy.

Son of RML has a public school testbook that treats Exodus as history.

@redmanlaw: Said textbook was probably first approved by the State of Texas.

@JNOV: So many peoples tied to mythical journeys. I can understand that kinda thing. But c’mon, the lambs’ entrails and such? All that is just an excuse to wallow in blood. Much rather wallow in peyote or such as…

No GOD is necessary for morality.

@SanFranLefty: OMFG THAT IS THE BEST SHIT EVER!!! I was reading it to my kid (I had to tell him how the original story went first, but whatevs)! That is sooooo awesome! I just wish I understood Spanish, although I did get the part about fire falling from the sky or some such.

@redmanlaw: Hmmmmmm…feel like being a test case?

@JNOV: I think atheism is the juggernaut that will take over the present theism, and They will thank us for it when the cannibal hordes show their teeth.

@SanFranLefty: The only thing that would make it even more perfect would be if I could link to it from FaceBook.

@SanFranLefty: Okay, so wait — are we translating the entire Bible or just the major stories? At some point I got the nerve to toss my Bibles without fear that I’d burst into flames, but I think the kid still has one or maybe two. Hopefully he still has the New International version and not just the King James version. All the begats, thees and thous in the KJV annoy me. But I totally want in on this project. I love zombies as much as I hate the Bible, so this would be not only fun but cathartic.

@JNOV: Great idea, but the wiki template programming is impenetrable to me so far, at least in terms of setting up share links like here.

But there’s always the old-fashioned way: cut & paste the address.

And yes, everything’s up for revision, Genesis to Revelation. Sign up and dive in.

@Pedonator: Atheism is far from a juggernaut in our great nation — at this point, I’d be satisfied with a return to polite protestantism. But whatever happens, we have to save the gospel choirs.

@JNOV: Hey JNOV, go to the bottom left “Applications” tab on facebook, select “Links”, and then on a sidebar next to the ads is a button you can drag up to your browser’s toolbar. Use that to build a fbook link to whatever page you’re viewing!

@drinkyclown: HUZZAH! Many thanks my lovely DrinkyClown!

@redmanlaw: Want me to ask my peeps at the ACLU if this sounds interesting?

@drinkyclown: Zombie bless folks who have a better handle on this shit than I do.

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