Pigs in Space!

The Sonovac cleanser is activated by the small switch on the lip.

We haven’t paid much attention to space travel since they faked the moon landing, but the International Space Station news over the past couple of weeks makes us wonder what kind of pigsty they’re running up there.

First there was the story about the Japanese astronaut not changing his shorts, which we would consider very abusive in a closed environment.

Then there was the rumor about NASA offering Stephen Colbert a naming opportunity with a toilet, in lieu of the new node that’s rightfully his.

And now we’re hearing about a Commienaut bitching because the Yanks won’t let him use their bathroom.

Which, getting back to that closed environment, strikes us as somewhat counterproductive. Do they expect Boris to step outside when he has to Spassky? Is the space station some kind of RV where nobody dares use the shitter?

Because if the dude has to deuce, pure self-interest would dictate letting him have the bowl instead of living with floaties for the duration. You don’t want him boldly going where no man has gone before.

‘Toilet row’ lowers space morale [BBC]
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Considering that the commie is going to be ISS commander, we can call the floaties the Captain’s Logs…

Is this a Beeb April Fool’s Joke? It better be or I Haz a Sad with the realization that even in Space you can’t escape stupid.

There are only two crappers on the ISS and are so complicated (cost $10 MIL) that you need a team of engineers and not Joe The plumber Wife Beater to clear up the clog.

Excellent. All kinds of vivid language. … dude has to deuce, never heard that expression. Smashing. Well done you.

Why don’t they just eat their own shit like the GOP?

Considering they can’t get along orbiting earth, I dread to think what will happen in the Mars mission simulator.

In space, no one can hear you fart (unless they’re on the space station with you).

@ManchuCandidate: Speaking of JoeDa, he made an appearance here in Pennsyltucky. Got booed by a bunch of union folks and refused to say who had funded his appearance to oppose card check. Total douchenozzle.

Okay, completely off topic, how great is this?

@flippin eck: My favorite part is the droll last sentence of the article:

“Lenin’s embalmed body remains on display in a mausoleum in Moscow.”

@FlyingChainSaw: Okay, I have oatmeal sprayed all over my keyboard thanks to you. It’s 8:20 am and I think you have already won COTD.

Since we’ve had a lot of car pron lately, it’s time for fashion pron.

Are the Stinque girls and gheyz going to join me in endless speculation about what Michelle O is going to wear to her tea with the Queen? I can’t wait for the photos!

@SanFranLefty: Shower curtains and a big funny hat. Like HRM.

@flippin eck: The fart heard round the world.

@Prommie: Those poor children.

@Benedick: @flippin eck: The fart heard round the world., or “Ten Days That Really Shook the World”

@SanFranLefty: I love that she changed into a fresh and fabulous outfit before deplaning in the UK. I think the most interesting part of the G-20 meeting will be the fab fashion face-off between Michelle and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

@Mistress Cynica: But if Sarkozy goes off in le huff, will Carla stick around for la Michelle?

@flippin eck: Tres great. I hope whoever did that blows the head off any Stalin statues still standing.

@Dodgerblue: If Sarko walks before Carla gets to have tea with the queen, he won’t be gettin’ any for quite a while.

@Mistress Cynica: Do you have idea how shatteringly boring tea with the queen is?
All she ever says is: Highintresting!

@Dodgerblue: I hope whoever did that blows the head off any Stalin statues still standing.
They would have plenty to choose from in his birthplace, Georgia, where he’s still revered. The town 5 km away from my Peace Corps site, Kashuri, had one right in front of the bank in their main square…they erected it in the late 90s.

@Benedick: do the Corgis run around and pee on visitors’ shoes?

@Mistress Cynica:

You mean he won’t be getting any from Carla. Don’t forget they’re French.

@Benedick: One doesn’t do it for fun, darling. One does it for the bragging rights.

@Prommie: Aren’t they all clowns, though?

@SanFranLefty: OMG, yes! I loved that Thakoon coat she wore leaving the Biracial House yesterday and the J. Crew sparkly cardi she wore to meet Mrs. PM even though the pencil skirt didn’t go with it. The Project Rungay boys have a post up about her fashion choices on this trip.

@Mistress Cynica: I heard Bruno is sitting this one out.

@Jamie Sommers: I lurved the coat. This morning’s ensemble didn’t quite go together, and I just saw a pic on the Beeb’s website of the black dress she wore to meet QEII.

@Jamie Sommers: The NYT has a cool pic of Barak and Michelle meeting the Queen and Prince Philip. I knew Michelle would tower over the Queen, but she could eat an apple offa the Prince’s head.

@Benedick: I’d rather be chugging a few Biers with Angie Merkel.

Today’s Zombie link…

http://zombie.stinque.com/bible/Main_Page

We’re still in semi-stealth beta, but there are more books online to zombify, and I see that Tommcatt and Nabisco are being industrious, in addition to Chainsaw. The Official Launch will be tied to a major holiday coming up.

@SanFranLefty: @Jamie Sommers: The coat was fab and I loved her shoes too–did you see the heels? But I wasn’t crazy about the hair, and the proportions of the skirt were wonky again. I suppose protocol dictates she would have to be locked up in the Tower if she wore an above-the-knee skirt in ER’s presence or something, but it would’ve helped this ensemble quite a bit.

How I wish I were spending my Wednesday evening: Sitting down with J.K. Rowling and other wildly successful people to a three-course meal prepared by Jamie Oliver. Swoon.

nojo / mellbell: In leafing through it, I’m not getting some of the references and how they relate to zombies. I just missing the humor, I guess. Please explain. Kthx.

@chicago bureau: If you don’t see zombies, you need to add them. This is an open-source project.

@Jamie Sommers: @SanFranLefty: @flippin eck: OMFG, what queen would have let her wear that to meet the Queen? A full black skirt (big mistake) with a white T-SHIRT and three quarter sleeve CARDIGAN? This is not your daughters’ ballet recital. WTF?? Carla wouldn’t have worn that to take out the trash. The Queen looked better than Michelle. The only thing that worked was the kitten heels. Don’t get me started on the hair. This all could have been avoided if they’d just made me head of protocol. I hope they brought a decent gift.

@SanFranLefty: You’re joking….right?

@nojo: I was far too restrained in my meager attempts last nights. Now that I’ve seen the Flying Chainsaw Style Manual for Zombie Bibles, I can go to town.

@Nabisco: I expect folks to be highly abusive once this goes public, so no point holding back now.

And because it’s a wiki, all drafts are preserved. I imagine as this evolves we’ll be declaring some chapters “finished”, reviving the best parts, and locking them down.

@SanFranLefty: Please tell me that’s an April Fools’ joke. Please.

@Nabisco: @Mistress Cynica: Unless the New York Times and the BBC were in on the April Fool’s joke together, I do believe it’s true.

@SanFranLefty: Loaded with Nat “King” Cole, Queen Latiffah, and Prince? The Pistols’ “God Save the Queen”? Andrew Lloyd Webber show tunes? The mind reels.

@Mistress Cynica: @SanFranLefty: I don’t have a problem with the outfit in and of itself. However, it’s a problem when you consider she was better dressed getting on and off the plane yesterday.
And the Bump-It in her hair makes me want to weep with shame for my country.

@ all: They also gave Lilibet a rare American songbook signed by Richard Rodgers. So they win since she gave them an autographed picture of herself and the Duke of Asshole.

I am loving this picture of the four of them. It looks like the Duke is farting and Michelle can smell it and the Deuce is dreading what’s coming her way. The stink bomb has not yet reached the left side of the picture though.

@Jamie Sommers: Well, exactly. The Kors/Thakoon combo would have been perfect. And the songbook does make me feel better. Rare book are always an appropriate gift. Just ask Lux Mentis.

@Jamie Sommers: Hah! That is a fantastic interpretation of a weird picture. I would have said it looked like the Duke pinched Michelle’s ass just before the picture was taken.

@SanFranLefty: It gets better–the Beeb has a video of The Beast doing a very tenuous 3-point turn in front of 10 Downing. The guys directing the effort is killing me!

@flippin eck: So is this the regular limo he uses in DC, with the DC “Taxation Without Representation” license plate, or does he have a limo waiting for him in London with the steering wheel on the right-hand side of the car?

@SanFranLefty: Actually, he doesn’t use the “Taxation Without Representation” plate, and Roberts Gibbs keeps dodging the issue.

Anyone seen pictures of the beautiful president of Argentina, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, at the G-20 dinner? Gorgeous cream silk dress and matching coat, pearls, flawless.

@flippin eck: Speaking of beasts, was looking for a picture of the dress Cynica mentioned (no luck), and came across this. Beauty and the beast, indeed. Also, The Guardian? Not so good with the snark.

@mellbell: Huff Post has a good slideshow of the visit to Buckingham Palace. Having now seen close-up photos of the dress, and realizing that she had to go straight from afternoon tea to the G-20 evening dinner, she had to wear a more versatile dress. It looks better close up, too and the jacket is nice.

@Jamie Sommers: I think the hair looks alright from straight on, it’s just from the side that it’s a little crazy. Love the shoes.

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, and I lurved Cristina’s ensemble for the dinner.

@SanFranLefty: A common scenario in practice exams for becoming an FSO is whether to provide a car from the embassy’s motor pool (an incur overtime) or hire car and driver at location. When I took it, I imagined the dignitary was CanklesSwampsowMadame Secretary, and I rented. Passed that section, too.

@SanFranLefty: OK, not as bad as I though, and the silk opera coat was lovely. I like the picture where Michelle obviously wanted to rip the enormous diamond flower brooch off HMQ’s dress.

@Jamie Sommers: No, close though. I was talking to a guy and apparently the Duke shits himself regularly and shakes the turds down his pant legs which is a signal for the royal toileteers to bring the coliform scooper they keep on hand for these events. The Queen recognized the Duke’s wind-up and did her best to pretend she wasn’t there.

@redmanlaw: Where is the liveblogging? Where are the photos taken by RML Jr. of daddy and mommy and TommCatt and Mr. TommCatt and DB and Ms. DB whooping it up? Is RML Jr. old enough to drive all of you home, since it seems based upon my reading of US Weekly that nobody in LA County is able to go anywhere w/o getting a DUI?

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