Wall Street Bigs Too Busy Pestorking Pricey Hookers to Manage Portfolios

That’s a dude, right?

The web page I found it on said it was a lady and I am a trusting person.

Unfortunately, most of those Wall Street execs are teh fugly. Now, some of those young turks on the trading floor…

@FlyingChainSaw: Her interview is at the ABC post – she’s a she.

And as the great Don Rickles would say: “Nice lamps!”

Not surprised considering the type of guys I knew in school who went into finance who all seemed that Xanadu (not the gawdawful movie) was their rightful reward for all the years of backstabbing, mark grubbing (it’s a 1/2 mark! It’s important!), assignment stealing, and ass kissing.

I once met a guy at a bachelor party who didn’t think twice about blowing $4k on strippers with his expense account for himself, but was also the cheapest shit I’ve ever met in Skule.

@Jamie Sommers:
She does have a tranny air to her.

@Prommie:
Don’t try to tell us those are real boobiez.

@SanFranLefty: No. Not real. If for no other reason than that her breasts are completely out of proportion with the rest of her.

Will it float?

@FlyingChainSaw:

Sure, she was a lady…right after the operation.

By the way, I don’t get the hustler/hooker thing. Isn’t the whole point of sex to get freaky with someone that wants to get freaky with you? If you have to pay the person to be there…well, where’s the fun in that?

Here’s the e-mail I just sent to sanity-destroying fucktard Geoff Colvin at Fortune, whose new column is so incomprehensibly ignorant that I won’t even link it:

To: gcolvin@fortunemail.com
Subject: You’re a 21st Century Marie Antoinette

I just finished reading “A Recession of Biblical Proportions,” and coming so soon after your recent op-ed extolling the virtues of bailing out bankrupt billionaires, I honestly don’t know if your writing is some kind of avant garde humor, or just plain ole’ six different kinds of crazy.

Did you know that middle class wages have been either stagnant or falling for the last thirty years, and they’ve only been able to stay afloat by having dual income households? Then, when even that wasn’t enough, by borrowing obscene amounts of debt until the entire system blew up?

Did you know that there are large numbers of people who can’t even afford to make contributions to tax deferred retirement plans or have any savings at all? It’s true! Are you really this clueless? They’re called The Poor, and there are gonna be a whole helluva lot more of them very, very soon.

I strongly recommend that you consult someone (anyone!), perhaps the person who cleans your home or whoever types your memos and answers your e-mail, on what it’s like to work in today’s insane, kleptocratic “free-market” economy that grossly rewards the most corrupt and incompetent and punishes everyone else . Perhaps then the title of your future columns won’t be something along the lines of “Let Them Eat Flat-Screens.”

@Original Andrew: Rip his fucking face off, Andy!

@Original Andrew: Great letter.

@Original Andrew: “Fortune” is out of touch with the economic realities of those of us taking home under $5 million per year? Who could have guessed? Steve Forbes has always seemed like such a champion of the downtrodden. His cool flat tax proposal that allows everyone to avoid paying any taxes at all on the money they don’t spend appeared to be just the ticket to boost the poor looking to pull themselves up by their bootstraps – as long as they didn’t need any food or clothing or shelter.

Maybe the clueless like Mr. Colvin will wake up when state and local governments can’t afford to pay the police and their gated communities start attracting mobs of starving, armed people looking for food.

I still think he’s a dude.

@Dave H:

We get all of the terrible industry rags at my office. I’ve begged to get off their mailing lists, but to no avail.

Forbes instantly goes into the recycling, along with Life Insurance Selling and Registered Rep.

Surprisingly, Fortune is the least offensive, and they’ll even occasionally publish letters like mine politely informing them that they’re all a bunch of stunningly unselfaware shit-for-brains.
Their investigative reporting is fairly decent, but their investment tips are career suicide. As recently as a year ago they were heavily hyping Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch and AIG. Buy! Buy! Buy! Howz that workin out for ya, Fortune investors?

I don’t take any of these tabs seriously (hello, Worth), but I read them because many people do, which is frankly a bit terrifying.

@Original Andrew: Now THAT is a well-written rant. Well played!

@Jamie Sommers: Me too, sister.

On an unrelated note, did you see the NYT editorial about your P.O.S. sheriff? What a fucking moron. When will you run for sheriff of Maricopa County? Srsly. I’ll come to Phoenix and manage your campaign.

@Jamie Sommers: Srsly, you should put your hat in the ring. SFL is right about this kind of thing (among others).

@SanFranLefty: Did I read in a previous post that you’re off to New Zealand? I know it’s not your first time going south of the equator, but I totally think you need to stage some kind of crossing the line ceremony on the plane.

@Pedonator: Yes, SFL and Mr. SFL are off to NZ next Friday the 13th, conveniently avoiding Valentines Day thanks to the International Date Line.

@SanFranLefty:
Wow. What a great strategy. You married a genius.

@Hose Manikin: He’s quite proud of himself for this V-day accomplishment.