Liveblog XLIII

five yards, please.

five yards, please.

I was going for a picture of a cheerleader to put in here, and it struck me: have I ever seen a Steeler cheerleader?  Visit to the official website, Yahoo image search engine?  Nothing.

I’m sold.  On account of the lack of cheerleaders, the pick is Pittsburgh to beat the spread.  It’s a 10,000 STAR LOCK.

Liveish commentary follows.  Your contributions will be (a) inevitably better than mine, and (b) therefore welcome.

1755 (ET): One deep, trauma-inducing emotion, expressed off-hand earlier today: five-hour pregame shows which are half-filled with self-promotional free advertising for your corporate master (Universal, News Corp., Disney, Viacom) MAKES BABY JESUS CRY.  For Pete’s sake — keep it to two hours and talk about football only or GTFO.

1800 (ET): Wait a minute. I was promised kickoff at 6:28pm.  And now Bob Costas informs me that the game is 38 minutes away?  Noooooo!

1808: Back in Wisconsin a few years back, a bill to make the Pledge of Allegiance mandatory in all schools was met with a competing bill — at any public sporting event, the singing of the national anthem must (a) be kept to under one minute, and (b) must not contain any more than one extraneous note (that is, away from the book).  And — the Stillers on the field!  Cards follow.  (Wait: no inflatable helmet to run out of?  The economy has really gone to shit, hasn’t it?)

1815: Apologies to all, but I can’t stand Kurt Warner.  And I don’t like Faith Hill either, but I am strangely ambivalent about it.

1818: SULLY!  SULLY!  SULLY!

1821: Well, that version of the anthem wasn’t overcooked.  Not at all.

1826: Elway is looking rather leathery right now.  (Oh no, wait, that’s Petraeus.)

1832: Cardinals electing to defend first?  [b]Cardinals.[/b]

FIRST QUARTER

13:20 remaining:  Well, that didn’t work.  Heinz Ward.  Perhaps you have heard of him.  Perhaps you might consider covering him.  And tack on another nine yards.

11:40 remaining: And another twenty yards, right down the middle.  This could be over very, very quickly.  But a good stuff on the 1st and goal run play.

10:00: Pure BS from Big Ben, but he only needed a yard and got it.  And the PAT — oh no, the challenge.  Not happening.

Meanwhile: bland Bud Light ad, unimpressive DaVinci Whatever ad, and a better-than-average Jason Statham ad for Audi.

9:45: Wait, what, that wasn’t a touchdown?  Odd.  Oh well. Steelers 3:0 Cardinals.

More advertisements: a Pepsi ad which Bob Dylan should immediately disown, and lowbrow from Doritos.

6:26: Threeish-and-out for Arizona.  Does not inspire any confidence, really.

Ad war: Conan brought the funny for Bud Light, Jack Black has a new move, and Toyota does not get the concept about car ads — women with large tits work really, really well.  (But, in its own way: classy.)

6:03:  I was joking about Dave Petraeus being in charge of the Arizona defense.  This might actually be true.  We’ve had plays of 30, 20, and just now 25 yards.  Oy.

4:20: Wait, they were going dime package on 3rd and 5?  Seriously.  And more pure bullshit from Rothlisberger.  Runs east-west for about six hours and then finds a receiver just past the marker and hits him with a floater.  Insane.

END FIRST QUARTER: Steelers 3:0 Cardinals, but more to come.  No run defense, no pass defense.  Special teams is OK, but their defense has had only two opportunities to screw up thus far.

Ads: Bridgestone / Potato Head FTW, Vin Diesel has a movie, and Madison Avenue has to STOP WITH THE MONKEYS IN ADS IT IS SO PLAYED OUT JUST FUCKING STOP.

QUARTER TWO: THE RECKONING

14:09: God damn.  This is like a guy who starts a conversation about Middle Eastern peace proposals just after he gets the girl’s bra off.  Penetrate, dammit!  (And speaking of which: Doritos and GoDaddy need to be taken out back and shot.)

14:04:  And they do.  Steelers 10:0 Cardinals (after a nervy PAT).

In other news, diet cola is mas macho, and OMG PUPPIES!  (Every naughty child who was denied puppy love at Solstice just broke down crying.)  Also: horses are horny.

11:00: Well, the Cardinals are having a bit of a drive here.  Interesting.

9:20: I thought that holding flag would kill the drive.  But Pittsburgh gives Warner all freaking day.  First and goal.

8:34: Circus catch in the end zone.  Game on.  Steelers 10:7 Cardinals.

Back to the ads.  If Tiger Woods isn’t back for the Masters, blame Gatorade.  Wes Anderson comes in for an ad for cars.com.

6:56: Rogers-Cromartie’s trying out there. Would that the balance of the Arizona defense step up as well.

5:00: Pittsburgh foiled by a holding penalty.  It is altogether possible that Arizona might be level, or even ahead at the half.   And Breaston (a few miles down the road from Fondleburgh) busts the return into Steeler territory!  Weirder and weirder.

2:59: Just when you think the Cards can put it together, the offensive line goes all fun house mirror on them.  Chop block, sack.

Funny how the Hyundai ad featuring rival car companies deal with Japanese carmakers and zee Germans.  Big Three nowhere to be found.

And Pixar’s coming out with a cartoon featuring a cranky old guy?  That’s change I can believe in.  In other news, I’m not writing about any more Bud / Bud Light ads.  There’s no point, really.

2:00: WHOA!  Tip drill, baby! Cards pick deep in Steeler territory.

Teleflora coming across with cynical, acerbic flowers in a box.  Best so far.

1:30: Cards bust the nickel package for a ten-yard gain.  First down.  Listen people: the prevent defense prevents you from winning.  For real.

0:20:  What’s with these short passes?  No timeouts left, suckers.

0:00:  DAGGER!  Pick six — 100 yard runback for Harrison!  Unreal.  BUT: it is being reviewed now.  Harrison needs oxygen.  Chicago Bureau needs oxygen.

And… it counts! PAT makes it Steelers 17:7 Cardinals!  A fair verdict on the half, but the Cards had a legit shot at it.  This has to tear their heart out.

HALFTIME

1955 (ET): RML sez: “Fuck you, Warner.”  Concur.  Fitzgerald was about to break loose into the back on the endzone, but Warner rushes it.  And having no timeouts left, on account of the dinky passes in the run up to the last play, took away a two-yard run.

2005: Break from liveblogging.  BRUCE!

2020: Not only will I put the chicken fingers down, I will never eat them again.  AWESOME.

QUARTER THREE: THE SEARCH FOR LARRY FITZGERALD

15:00: Well, the Cards get the ball back after that clusterfuck of a red zone offense that we just witnessed.  Let us see what occurs now.

12:36:  Promising so far — they’re at midfield.  Kurt Warner’s not going to bag it.  He did enough of that at the grocery store.  [Chicago Bureau’s hands slowly reach for Chicago Bureau’s throat, stop short.]

10:53: Total comedy.  Just go down with the freaking ball, man.  Second challenge — if they lose this, the red flag goes bye-bye for the duration.

Ads: Coca-Cola confuses.  Bridgestone breaks out House of Pain, which is never wrong really.  Denny’s amuses, slightly.  Monster tries for subtle and fails miserably.

As for the challenge: upheld.  So they still have one challenge left.  Meanwhile, the Cards’ punter, from Oz, blows.

The Clydesdale loves this country, in case you were curious.  Budweiser’s former owners?  Not so much.

7:31:  Clowns.  Facemask, then roughing the passer.  Cardinals discipline FAIL.

3:32: The Steelers got some help, surely.  But that was a clinical drive, and the Cardinals’ defense was a total fraud.  And yet: the red zone offense was atrocious and the Cards got it together and… gave up ANOTHER personal foul.  Unreal.

2:11: And the Cards stuff them again.  The three points taken off a few moments ago are back on the board.  Steelers 20:7 Cardinals.  Perhaps the Steelers might want to get a red zone offense for Easter.

Ads: CareerBuilder follows repetition = comedy theme.  Bugs dig Coke.  Tony the Tiger’s a dirty, no-good community organizer.  I really think the PETA ad would have been useful here.  Hell, I think the ShamWow guy would have been useful here.

END THIRD QUARTER.  Thank God that dross is over.  Oh, wait — there’s another quarter, isn’t there?  OK.  Fine.

FOURTH QUARTER

14:53: Another good play, another penalty.  I’m calling it.  Stick a fork in the Cardinals.

13:49: Cripes.  If Pittsburgh needs a red zone offense, the Cards need a freaking punter.  Special teams are not so special.

11:30:  Nabisco sez: “Jesus must be a Protestant. He doesn’t like cardinals.”  Well played.  And a nice little pop by the Steelers coverage team.  Nice.

Meanwhile: HOLY CHRIST GET ED MCMAHON AND MC HAMMER OFF OF MY TEEVEE NOW.

10:45: Al Michaels just said “alacrity.”  Uh oh.  Something is afoot.  No wait: it’s just a hurry-up offense.

9:13:  There’s been a Larry Fitzgerald sighting.  About time.  And the Cardinals are about to strike!  (Pending the inevitable drive-killing holding penalty.)

Ads: Vizio gets snotty, Taco Bell remains stupid, and the GE freebie is mildly interesting — but not really.

7:33:  No flag?  No flag?  Yes, indeed!  The Cards still have a pulse after all.  Steelers 20:14 Cardinals.  FITZMAS!

Self-referential ad from Hulu about rotting the brains of America with entertainment.  Is it offensive, or ironic?  A po-mo Super Bowl ad.  Well, it’s better than the Budweiser dreck, right?

5:56: Well, how do you like that? For all of the dreck they’ve offered thus far, the Cardinals are still in this thing.  Three-and-out, and Arizona gets the ball back.

Another GE retread-ad.  And SNL’s MacGruber bullshit segment are given another GE freebie.  Seriously — is there still time to slot the PETA ad?

5:21: And there’s twenty-five yards to the Cards — ten plus a flag against, oddly, the Steelers.  Things are falling apart.

3:52: And another 25 yards.  But the Cardinals fork over another ten yard flag moments later.

3:36: Warner chokes, hard.  The good news is the punter can only kick it thirty yards, which in this case does them a lot of good.  And the Steelers are pinned deep.  Plus Harrison punches a Cardinal in the throat.

3:21: Unclear on the pass from the one-yard line.  Run.  The.  Clock.  [Or, at least, force some timeouts.]  Incomplete, second down.

3:04: Safety?  Just missed.  The Cards do have the challenge flag, but take a timeout instead.  Should have thrown it.  As it is: 3rd and 10 from the one foot line.

2:58:  This has gone down the rabbit hole.  Rothlisberger saves the day with a huge pass.  But: holding in the end zone.  There’s your safety!  Steelers 20:16 Cardinals!

2:37: FITZMAS!  AGAIN!  If this holds up, hang on everybody — Kurt Warner is going to be insufferable. Steelers 20:23 Cardinals!  This game has redeemed itself from the third quarter.  And with the Harrison pick six and what has just occurred?  This is compelling stuff, all around.

2:00: So, Pittsburgh has two timeouts.  They are four-down mode.  Rothlisberger is scrambling like a mad man and making plays.  Two minute warning.

Last ad break.  GoDaddy still needs to be taken out back and shot.

1:48: The stat breakdown tells some of the story.  But Big Ben makes plays.  First down.

1:25: Another first down, but he doesn’t get out of bounds.  Clock rolls.

1:02: Ben can’t pull another cat out of the bag that Kurt Warner packed.  Timeout.

0:49: Rothlisberger!  As Bill Raferty would say: ONIONS!  First and goal from the 7 — but the last timeout is taken.  I don’t think they can (or should) risk a run play here really.

0:43: Smart pass — only guy who could catch it was a Steeler.  But Holmes can’t make the grab.

0:35: But Holmes got that one, didn’t he?  Unfuckingbelievable.  Steelers 27:23 Cardinals!

0:22: Fitzgerald has had a decent fourth quarter, all things considered.  One timeout left for the Cards.

0:15: Another dump pass?  Silly.  No timeouts left.  First down, though, so there’s that.

0:05: Warner fumbles. Maybe.  Actually, he did.  And that be that.  WOW.

FINAL: STEELERS 27:23 CARDINALS.

POSTGAME

Well, we will not have to deal with Warner, seeing as the losing coach handles questions about how Jesus let the team down.  Believe in miracles, people.

The last bit of drama?  Would Joe Namath try to grope women on the way to the presentation?  Sad to report, but he did not do so.  A subdued note to end this here liveblog.  Laters.

170 Comments

Hey, hey! I’m here! I took the meds early today cuz I’m having trouble getting to work on time, so I don’t know how long I’ll be with y’all, but I’m here for now.

Must say — I loved the commercial with the megagigantor pinata. I’ve already forgotten what they were shilling, but loved the pinata nonetheless.

JNOV: It was Kathie Lee Gifford’s cruise line.

@chicago bureau: Oh, well fuck that! For many reasons having to do with her child labor efforts and David Foster Wallace’s cruise essay.

@chicago bureau: If you’re not going for the cheerleaders, I have a graphic to slip in when you’re not updating.

Puppy Bowl V now on Animal Planet!!!!

Did Jamie Sommers and Nabisco ever make a Super Bowl bet?

Fire at will. I will be off for the next ten or fifteen minutes, because fuck all will actually occur.

@JNOV:
You don’t got fun?

I have no desire to travel on a cruise ship considering that there are no water filtration and sewage treatment plants on board (too expensive…) and the majority of cruise ships in the Caribbean travel along the exact same routes. Bleah.

@SanFranLefty: I dunno, and I wonder if they are going to make an appearance during the game. Nabeesko wrote something about having a house full of kids or some such. Is Jamie going to a Superbowl party?

nojo: You are teh awesome. (I was going to drop a line-break in, but that’s good enough.)

No cheerleaders in the burgh, ever. They rolled out a mascot this year (“Steely McBeam”) to the utter derision of the fans.

Nojo, pick me up some tube socks. Aren’t you going to the mall?

@nabisco: Leaving in about twenty. Gotta grab some duds for our live show next week.

@ManchuCandidate: Nope. No fun for me, darlin’. Yeah, cruise ships are floating health disasters where you are forced to play nice at dinner with people you don’t know and probably won’t like.

@nojo: I half expected the Nat Lampoon yearbook image, but that works: especially if you’ve seen the Steelers’ punter who totally sucks.

@nabisco: Hey, did you read the NYT article about The Terrible Towel, its history and how damned near 100% of the proceeds go to a school (home?) for disabled kids?

@chicago bureau: Well, that’s what we get for double-teaming an active post…

I’ve emailed you Lucy, and you’ll need to break the jump again. Must have violated the WordPress too-many-cooks rule.

Hmmmm. Pictures of soldiers standing at attention for America the Beautiful? And people putting their hats and hands over their hearts? When did this start? It’s NOT the National Anthem, people.

Listening to Faith Hill (does Maybelline have any eye makeup left in stock after hers was applied?) fucking butcher America the Beautiful is making me fucking stabby. Sing the goddamn song as written. That is all.

Now that was the National Anthem!

@JNOV: Crown thy good with brother hood from sea to shining sea sounds pretty good tho.

God, the SSB sucked. It might be the Super Bowl, but it’s not a fucking variety show.

Hmmmm. GI Joe trailer. Wonder if I’m gonna get suckered like they tried to sucker me with Jumper.

@Mistress Cynica: I though we didn’t have to listen to crap county anymore now that the fucking bad guys lost. WTF?

Did I miss the GI Joe trailer? Goddammit!

JNOV: Well, they do keep singing it well after it should have been retired. That Ray Charles version killed it for every performer to attempt it since. Srsly.

@Mistress Cynica: Hear! Hear!

National anthems. Anyone been to the movies in the land of Shakespeare? Don’t know how it is now but it used to be that they played the anthem at the end of the program. So the deal was you had maybe 53 seconds between the time that the house lights came up and the anthem started. Once it started YOU COULD NOT MOVE. So there was this race to get out to the lobby. As soon as lights came up whole families ran screaming up the aisle heading for the exit. If you were caught you had to freeze till the anthem was over.

I always thought they should sell tickets and allow gambling on who got out and who didn’t. Of course, that was back in the day when there were double features and ladies with trays came around between films selling Orange Mivvies.

Such a boring, futile little country full of people who aspire to be Sully and Hitch. But at least they know how to play football.

@chicago bureau: Yes, indeed.

John Elway looks like doo doo.

Why can’t Elway have sex doggie style? Cuz he can’t come from behind.

CHRISTONACRUTCH! The Smashing Pumpkins are shilling for Hyundai?

He scored, challenge should fail

ADD: shit

Who is the Cards’ defensive coordinator — Rumsfeld?

Awwww, yeaaahhh! Audi commercial kicks ass!

Pepsi scores first in the ad dept.

Dodgerblue: Petraeus. The first half will suck, and the second half will also suck but not seem nearly as bad in comparison.

@JNOV: As Bob said in better days, “ya gotta serve somebody.”
Note to crowd: You can boo Elway, but not that shitstain Petraeus? grow a fucking pair.
You may have observed that 7 hours of pregame crap brings out my inner chainsaw.

Year One: Unfortunately, not the Batman story. They shot the Jack Black movie here last year. Y’all catch “Magic Bus” in the background?

Budweiser needs to fire their ad agency pronto. Unless the next ad has the Clydesdales trampling Conan, which would be awesome.
@redmanlaw: I thought finally we were free from sucko country but noooooo. And I knew when I heard the overwrought string arrangement in the intro of the SSB that it was all over but the scenery chewing.

Man, that was some old school sexism in the Bridgestone ad.

OMFG! Marshall, Will and Holly, on a routine expedition, then the greatest earthquake ever known, high on the rapids, it sunk their tiny raft, and plunged them down a thousand feet below — to The Land of the Lost! To the Land of the Lost!

@Mistress Cynica: For a reluctant viewer, you’re on fire!

@Mistress Cynica: Yes.

TD! Blowout on the way. Sucky blowout Superbowl games. Grumble grumble.

Pepsi is doing alright tonight.

You’d think Bud would have the coin for better CGI.

Oooooooo. Star Trek. Although my boy is bitching about Sylar from Heroes playing Spock, but I don’t watch Heroes, so I don’t care.

@redmanlaw: I’m telling you, they should get their money back from that agency. If you can fuck up a Clydesdale commercial, you well and truly suck.

redmanlaw: I actually quite liked the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head ad. Mrs. Potato Head is such a bitch.

Mistress Cynica: Danica Patrick. Oh, honey, no. Please win the Indy 500 so that you never have to do ads like that ever, ever again.

@nabisco: Of course, I don’t know the score. I just critique everything else. And since I’ve had to listen to this crap since I got up, I’m extra judgey and bitchy today.

JNOV: My selection of Magic Hat #9 for tonight’s proceedings seems very appropriate, all things considered.

@chicago bureau: Have you seen her Peak antifreeze ads? Ugh.

Hey, guys, there’s a game on. Not that Arizona is aware of that.

@chicago bureau: I wish I had a Magic Hat #1. The Cards are on a helluva drive, though…

Well, how about that?

ADD: We might actually have a game on our hands.

The Jabbawokkies were just on a Gatorade commercial!

Football? Cool:

Manchester United is the best – The rest are just filthy pests – United ’til I die – Oi Oi Oi!

@JNOV: Jesus had nothing to do with that touchdown, Mr. Warner. Just remember that for the post-game show.

Impressive return with some good blocking.

Tip drill! Tip drill!!!
I have no idea what that means, but it’s what Mr Cyn is shouting.
And a flower commercial insulting women. I think we have a meme.

Mistress Cynica: Actually, that was insulting men who select Flowers In A Box.

@chicago bureau: See, I love roses in a box — something so old school, classic movie about it. Arrangements always seem a bit funereal to me. Upshot: Men can’t win for losing.

@Mistress Cynica: To my mind, there’s really nothing to complain about when it comes to flowers.

@redmanlaw: Give him something to pray about, Silverback.

Oh and, BOO-YEAH!

nabisco: Seriously: that was an all-time play made by Harrison.

@nojo: I like the previews up top. The bolding really makes it pop.

That was the new U2 single for the NFL ad, “Get On Your Boots” You can hear it at u2.com

As one who cares little (or, really, not at all) for NFL football, even I must admit that was a reasonably impressive play…don’t blame him at all re the oxygen. Hell, I’d need a stretcher…

Ooh, Tenth ave freeze out: good choice!

Who dis man what sound like Southside Johnny?

Did BS just slide, crotch-first into the camera man????

I’ve only been vaguely paying attention — has Mr. SFL lost his bet yet?

A soulful horn chart is a thing of beauty.

Playing with the camera like he’s Bono or something. ZooBruce TV.

Clarence’s coat should be in the Smithsonian with Aretha’s hat.

Streets, highways, and malls all but deserted. Wonderful afternoon for shopping.

@LuxMentis: Yes, after posing with the mike stand pointing straight up from his crotch. Prince was more subtle.
Is there anything sadder than male menopause?

Warner: “Oh, God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

@Mistress Cynica: LOL! The Suz is very amused. I think I remain young enough to think it is funny…must ponder. Look forward to seeing you in SF in a couple weeks.

Clydesdale loves this country
Of course, for some reason a third generation American horse still had a Scottish accent. If you’re gonna have a talking horse, at least give it a believable accent.

@Mistress Cynica: Jesus must be a Protestant. He doesn’t like cardinals.

@nabisco: I’m not likin’ how the Cards are taking a stand this late in the 4th.

That TD reversal/robbery in the 1st looms large now.

The fucking Pittsburgh defensive coordinator should be shot.

If the Cards pull this out, we’ll never hear the end of this from Holy Kurt. Please FSM, pleeeezzz….

@redmanlaw: Rooney looked like he was making a list of people to fire.
And the hulu commercial was my favorite so far, po-mo-ho that I am.

The next Steeler who holds should have his hands cut off.

Woops, how can this be happening. Junior is not merely distraught, he has major anger-anger/disappointment/accepting the thwarting of his will issues.

I gots to say, Bruuuce, I was all very “meh” about it. I loved him once, but I have not purposely played a Bruce song in years.

And about Southside, the only reason you know the name is because of Bruce, Bruce is big into supporting local bands, he wrote many of Southside’s songs, including his signature, “I don’t want to go home,” and the E street band played on most of southside’s early albums.

But he was good. He played with it, he played with the idea of playing the superbowl, and he played Born to Run. You should see him, RML, the band is so so so much harder-edged live, painfully so, it could surprise you.

And about Southside, RML, the only reason you know his name is because of Bruce, he was big into promoting and helping local bands, he wrote “I don’t want to go home,” and many other southside songs, Talk to Me, and many members of the E-Street band played on Southside’s early albums.

“I’ll show you enhanced!” ::head explodes::

I haven’t cared this much about a game since I watched the Broncos v Green Bay in 97 (?), when I was sitting on the arm of the couch by myself as Elway brought it home.

Holmes!

What a pass, barely catchable, but anything else, with three red shirts that close, would have been dangerous, amazing.

Why is the ad at the top of this trhead offering me the opportunity to “Become an Apostle of the Eucharist”?

So happy for junior, he just went on an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Promnight: I disagree. This has been an imperfect game at best. Red zone ineptitude, penalties. Certainly one of the more dramatic ones, though.

@chicago bureau: Third quarter sucked, but I was making burgers then, anyway. Which were awesome.

Well, let’s tune into the final :15…

Golly, looks nice in HD.

Apparently, Mr. Warner, it was not the will of Allah that you prevail today. So sorry.

Happy Super Bowl, Mr. President . . .

@Promnight: Zombie OMG. It’s complete nonsense.

Hey guys, what’s going on?

Am I missing anything?

Just kidding. Saw the last five minutes of the game. Pretty intense.

Hey, kids, it’s Broadway Joe!

@chicago bureau: Hey, its a classic tale of loss and redemption, the mistakes made up for by the perfect play in the clutch, perfection is so boring, its why I don’t like Tiger Woods, and love Love that guy, is it John Daily, the mess?

@mellbell: Zombies!?! Where?

Sorry about the Cards, Mell. I just didn’t want to hear Warner do his post-game preachifying. Nothing more than that, but I *really* didn’t want to hear it, just like we should be freed from crap (as opposed to good) country music in the Unicorn Era.

High Life!

‘member when Joe was all fucked up at a Super Bowl and started drooling on the ESPN side line reporter? Was it my Michelle Tafoya?

DP!!!

correction: regular season game, Suzy Kolber.

What’s this about “steal a nation”?

Shout-out from the owner to BO…lol…too funny.

32 and running a major team…but still wearing a f-ing ball cap during interviews. meh

@redmanlaw: “I wanna Kiss You!” It will go down in history. Its got to be on youtube, give me a link, I am laaaaazy.

@Promnight: Yo.
Namath hits on ESPN reporter.

@ Lux – Hey I’m wearing my black New Mexico Lobos hat right now.

@mellbell and Jamie: What RML said. I wouldn’t have cared if it wasn’t for Mr. Sanctimonious Insufferable of 2009.

@chicago bureau: Oh it was awful. The Steelers were trying to rip my heart in front of my son. But Ben did what he’s done all year and WON THE GAME!

Tomorrow? The friggin groundhog…

@redmanlaw: Going for their tenth straight tomorrow against UConn. I’m kind of nervous.

Hey, did you all know that in the Broadway Joe commercial where he wears pantyhose, Farah Fawcett is shown shaving his legs? I just heard this amazing bit of trivia from Little Steven Van Zandt, he just said it on Underground garage. I did not know that!

Okay, did y’all see the start of The Office? That was fucking brilliant.

Oh, and so glad that Kurt Warner couldn’t preach about Baby Jeebus on his side, though Larry Fitzgerald is so damn cute so I’d want him to win just to see his gorgeous smile. And what’s his name with the hair on the Steelers was getting on my last nerve with all the crossing himself. Really, y’all – Jeebus/Allah/Buddha does not give a shit about your Sport game, and is not the reason you completed the play. So many stupid penalties in that game.

Mr. SFL didn’t correctly predict Bruce’s set list. And Little Steven isn’t looking very Little. I think the crotch shot and the homage to Prince were done with Bruce’s tongue firmly in cheek.

OK, I looked it up, its not the pantyhose commercial, but she does shave Joe in a noxzema commercial; and while searching for it, I found, and watched, the Joey Hetherton Perfect Sleeper commercial, which was better than the Superbowl.

@redmanlaw: “Joe’s just a happy guy.” “Ohhh boy is he happy.” That tickles me pink, thanks, RML.

@Promnight: Linque?

@ Lefty – locker room reporter chickie should have axed if the Lord was with the other guys today.

@redmanlaw: You know I would have asked Warner that question. Or, “I guess Gawd really hates Arizona conservatives. First McCain loses and now you.”

Joey was the original Kathy Lee, wasn’t she?

@Benedick: Well, you know, one team wins and goes on. And the costumes.

@redmanlaw: “And goes on”. There’s more?

And excuse me: spandex does not count as costumes.

@SanFranLefty: “I hope that youtube is down there to tape it.”

So beautiful.

@SanFranLefty: I’m flying tomorrow. Very excited. I hear we have a great apartment near many homeless people and a Safeway with long lines. I don’t care. I’m thrilled beyond measure to be working there.

Oh, hey, how could this have passed unnoticed, did anyone mention the “Land of the Lost” movie trailer?

There were Sleestack!!!!!!!!!

I don’t care if its a will Ferrel movie, if there are Sleestack, I am going.

Sleestack are important to me.

@Benedick:
Supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow, no rain until Thursday. You can outrun the homeless guys by the theatre, so no worries. Did you know that your show is up against the revival of “Wicked”? They’re running ads for that musical every 5 minutes on the radio – Mr. SFL and I shriek in horror every time we hear the Wicked ads.

@Promnight: More importantly, is there a new Star Trek coming out or was I not paying enough attention during the ad?

@SanFranLefty: My show is not up against Wicked. My poor little play is a mere bubble of Hope against the juggernaut that is Wicked. As before stated: I don’t do competition.

P.S. Yes. There is a new Star T coming out. It seems that the previous 46 were not enough. This one is Star Trek: Here come Those Tired Old Tits. I don’t know if a Lohan is in it. All I know is that I am not.

@SanFranLefty: I saw a Klingon, thats all I know, I saw a fucking Klingon.

@Benedick: Your poor little play has a most amazing niche, though, and will always be played.

@Benedick: Break a leg or whatever. May the stinque be with you.

And the Other Things To Do Festival continues in five minutes with Network on TCM.

@Benedick: “All I know is that I am not.”

Are you implying (infering? I can’t remember the Strunk & White rule now and am too lazy to look it up) that you were in a previous Star Trek?

Oh, and fuck Wicked. Talk about overkill with the radio ads of desperation for that show. Plus your play is at a better price point than that musical, given the current economic situation. There’s a respectable-sized ad for your “poor little play” in the “SF Arts Monthly” circular that appears in the Sunday New York Times delivered to subscribers out here.

In other happy news: Gay PM for Iceland:
Johanna Sigurdardottir [don’t you love Icelandic names?] named as Iceland’s prime minister on Sunday, is the first openly lesbian head of government in Europe, if not the world – at least in modern times.

Wow. What a day, and what a night on the Stinque Network. Destroyed the kitchen two nights in a row with dinners. Time for a cup of coffee.

@Mistress Cynica: Muchas gracias, my favorite librarian. I inferred that Benedick was in Star Trek. Or was it just my imagination, and he implied it?

@SanFranLefty: I think he implied that he doesn’t care because he’s not in it. I didn’t get a sense he was in any previous movies.

Also: Hey right, futbol. I completely forgot until just now, after my 7 pm nap (full day getting the sidecar rig sold and washed, leading to achey post-crash hip and thus nap) when I loaded up El Stinque and there it was. I could probably care less about football (also: sport), but not a whole lot. I enjoy shouting “Sportsball!” and leaving the conversation whenever anyone gets involved in discussing sport.

Pat Summit goes for win No. 1000 Monday night.

@mellbell: If the Onion has a flaw, it’s to take a concept and well and truly beat it into the ground, exploring every permutation in the process.

@mellbell: That’s very funny.

@SanFranLefty: All I meant was, as IanJ infers, I was not employed under a generous contract which allowed for hours spent at the craft table while stuff is done to things before being called to the set where an enormous green screen has been hung in front of which one is, from time to time, required to say ridiculous lines to other actors who may or may not actually be there. Health insurance, baby! All I know is that in the new Trek everyone is in their twenties with rockin’ bods. This is, I think, known as a concept.

Meanwhile, glad to know they’re advertising.

@redmanlaw: Thanks for the good wishes. You wish bad things on an actor so they won’t, by the law of opposites, happen.

@Promnight: From your mouth to God’s ear.

@Promnight: Not only did I mention it, I sang the theme song to the TV show. Look for “Marshall, Will and Holly, on a routine expedition…” somewhere in the thread.

I fell asleep on at the end of The Boss’s show but woke up in time for the last minute of so.

Have a great day, All!

@SanFranLefty: Yes, a new Star Trek with young Kirk and Spock. My kid won’t take it seriously cuz Spock is being played by Sylar (or Sklyar?) from Heroes. I don’t care — the trailer was rad!

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