Go Away

Mistress Cynica points us to this bit of fucktardery from Kathleen Parker:

As Republicans sort out the reasons for their defeat, they likely will overlook or dismiss the gorilla in the pulpit.

Likely will?  Oh please.  They will continue to rearrange deck chairs.

Three little letters, great big problem: G-O-D.

I’m bathing in holy water as I type.

To be more specific, the evangelical, right-wing, oogedy-boogedy branch of the GOP is what ails the erstwhile conservative party and will continue to afflict and marginalize its constituents if reckoning doesn’t soon cometh.

Simply put: Armband religion is killing the Republican Party. And, the truth — as long as we’re setting ourselves free — is that if one were to eavesdrop on private conversations among the party intelligentsia, one would hear precisely that.

More whining after the jump.

But they need those votes!

So it has been for the Grand Old Party since the 1980s or so, as it has become increasingly beholden to an element that used to be relegated to wooden crates on street corners.

Short break as writer ties blindfold and smokes her last cigarette.

Which is to say, the GOP has surrendered its high ground to its lowest brows. In the process, the party has alienated its non-base constituents, including other people of faith (those who prefer a more private approach to worship), as well as secularists and conservative-leaning Democrats who otherwise might be tempted to cross the aisle.

Please – surrendered its high ground? If there ever was any high ground it was willingly ceded to the snake handlers.  The so-called highbrow Republicans eagerly climbed aboard the HMS George W. Bush and set sail for the Middle East to fight a religious war alongside the fundies, whack jobs, and Dispensationalist morons.

Parker then lays out the demographic future of the GOP (it ain’t pretty) and concludes thusly:

The young will get older, of course. Most eventually will marry, and some will become their parents. But nonwhites won’t get whiter. And the nonreligious won’t get religion through external conversion. It doesn’t work that way.

Given those facts, the future of the GOP looks dim and dimmer if it stays the present course. Either the Republican Party needs a new base — or the nation may need a new party.

Or the nation might need to cut off the head, stuff the mouth with garlic, and put a stake through the heart of the Republican party.  With luck, hatred and selfishness will disappear as planks in every party’s platform.


But nonwhites won’t get whiter.

Michael Jackson excepted, of course.

With luck, hatred and selfishness will disappear as planks in every party’s platform.

Sorry man, selfishness will never disappear. Hatred stands a chance of going away, though, and I’ll definitely take 50% of that result.

The fighting for the Political Lifeboats have begun.

Hee hee.

And may I also point out that the GOP just put Boehner back in charge and elected two snake handlers (Pence and Cantor) to leadership positions. So long shitbags.

I must go out on a limb and say she is pretty much right on the money. You can argue about whether there was any high ground, but if the Repubs actually listened to her, they might start to get somewhere.

That said, thank FSM they won’t listen!

@homofascist: I find myself strongly supporting efforts to keep Palin on the national stage. The Republicans have been cynically pandering to the fundies since 1980, and it’s only proper that the fundies take control of what is rightfully theirs.

I also find myself wondering: Who will emerge as the John Anderson of the leftover conservatives? I remember him as an independent liberal, but clearly I wasn’t paying attention — he was a Rockefeller Republican, a species that Reagan killed off.

Heck, with Ron Paul still out there, the Republicans could split into a three-way for the next few years. That would be awesome.

@homofascist: My point exactly … they won’t listen to her. Why did she bother? The right will turn on her. Remember what the Mittbot 3000 did to get a crack at the Republican nomination? He abandoned every sensible position he’d ever taken. That’s the requirement for being in the GOP – toe the party line even when you know it’s ridiculous. Parker knows this. She knew this in 2000, I’m sure, but she bellied up to the bar and drank the Kool Aid anyway. Look up the word ‘disingenuous’ the dictionary – you’ll see her picture.

Speaking of snake-handling, Oral Roberts U. is laying people off too! It’s a hate-cession! Cynica, could you please go and do the superior dance over there?

And please to explain to me why the giant praying hands statue on the reference web page has the Pakistani and Israeli flags next to each other???

@nojo: I would happily donate to any fund to keep Palin in the national spotlight…


Apparently he’s also going to be “health czar” (read: Guy who Socializes medicine) as well.

Isn’t it nice not reflexively gagging every time a cabinet member is named? I can’t wait for the Supreme Court picks…

@nojo: Our banner is pitching Scientology right now … did anybody mention Tommy Girl?

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: No gagging, but there’s a lot of concern being expressed in the leftward precincts.

Me, I’m gonna wait for actual decisions and policies. Barry seems to be betting that he can ride herd on all these cats, and he’s certainly giving all his “rivals” a stake in his success. We’ll just have to see how it plays out in practice.

@blogenfreude: I’m getting “FilipinaHeart.com”. Is Malkin buying Parker keywords?

@nojo: Earlier I got one for what looked like his and his wedding bands (with interlocking male symbols). Kind of garish, but sweet nevertheless.

@mellbell: Awwww. Either that, or the couple just really likes Volvos.

Too fucking late, fucktard. Your people armed the Taliband’s precursors and you climbed into bed with the snakehandlers. You are gonna sit there and watch the rest of the fucking movie, asshole. Gee, we’re about to the part where the snakehandlers and the fucking survivalists and militiamen go nuts and start attacking government buildings in the US and the Taliband get control of Pakistan’s nukes and the Middle East is reduced to a radioactive wasteland with the entire region imploding into a cannibal anarchy and the complete meltdown of the global economy.

@mellbell: Google’s closing in on twenty bucks total, but I’ve always considered those ads for entertainment value only.

The MSNBC ad actually pays per view (not just clicks), and it cracked forty bucks. Not sure when it pays out, but that’s reasonable beer money.

Amazon has the most potential to force me to figure out some kind of revenue-sharing scheme. I pay $120/month for the server, but that’s a longstanding deductible business expense — I would charge clients $50 to host and maintain a site like this. Add the annual $25 for the StinqueStream, and there’s your overhead.

But those Amazon picks — I wonder whether they’re tailored to your personal Amazon cookie, presuming you’ve shopped there. The titles I’m seeing are frighteningly relevant to my tastes.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that guy in the photo lost his arm from snake venom.

Hey y’all, by the way nice to see you again! Oh, you didn’t notice I was gone? Damn. *scuffing dirt* Anyway, I spent last week helping rebuild houses in NOLA, St. Bernard Parish, which was incredibly satisfying. Also satisfying was the amazing food and live music we got to enjoy at night–none of this Bourbon St. crap, but little smokey clubs in the neighborhoods with no (other) tourists in sight and irresistably-danceable zydeco or a brass line to knock you out. Oh, and lots of Abita beer to boot. Fun, fun times. Wish you all could’ve been there.

@nojo: Amazon and DoubleClick cookies. When Google bought DoubleClick I laughed. Yeah, ‘Don’t Be Evil’ – just buy it and integrate it into the business model.

You reap what you sow.

@flippin eck: Welcome back. The only thing better than Abita beer is Zapp’s chips. Oh good lord, those potato chips are like crack cocaine for me.

@flippin eck:
“I was a born a snake handler and I’ll die a snake handler” Moe Syzlik of Flaming Homer Moe Fame.

Trust us, we noticed. Sounds like a good time. BTW, has the situation in NOLA improved?

@ManchuCandidate: Depends what you mean by “improve” – I was there a month ago and I was there in fall 2006. Two years ago (About 13 months AFTER Katrina) there was still rubble and shit everywhere. This time when I went to the 9th ward, everything was cleared out and grass was growing. But it was still like a ghost town in major sections, but at least you didn’t have the couches stuck in trees like in 2006.

@nojo: Let’s see… Phillips headphones and Nine West sandals… uh, yeah, cookies at work.

@the deeply missed flippin eck, Leftism: I was watching Henry Rollins Uncut from New Orleans recently. Part of the show was going out to the old neighborhoods that have not been rebuilt yet and talking to folks there, which he intercuts with his act taped in the city he’s performing in.

This week – Northern Ireland, next week, Israel. He’s also been to the south part of the country of Africa. Gotta have the IFC on your dish or cable plan to see it. Don’t know if its on the tubes.

Since Cynica is good at going behind enemy lines (readin’ TNR and all), perhaps we can do a covert insertion to the T&C to see WTF on Our Girl There.

@nojo – they have a selection of cheerleader books?

You answered my question.

I’ve read Harry Shearer’s columns about the city in Huffpo and I got the impression that life hasn’t really returned outside of tourist traps and that the city is still crippled by Katrina.

@SanFranLefty: Hmm, I will have to seek out this crack-cocaine chip of which you speak.

@ManchuCandidate: What SFL said. This was my first visit, so not a whole lot to compare it to, but it’s nominally “cleaned up” now, even in the Parish and Lower Ninth Ward. Now, it’s just lots of gutted shells of homes and empty foundations everywhere. And the Lower Ninth opposite where the levee broke is a tall-grass prairie with streets running through it–very eerie. I’ll upload some pics the next time a Jam comes up.

Liz McCartney, the cofounder of the not-for-profit that we were working with, St. Bernard Project, is a nominee for the CNN Hero of the Year. St. Bernard Project has a really sensible approach to conducting recovery efforts and, with Habitat, is one of the sole not-for-profits still working in the Parish. Please consider taking a minute to vote for Liz!: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/05/08/heroes.mccartney/index.html

@RML: You’re so sweet.

@ManchuCandidate: Come to think of it, with Parker obviously having gone sane, I think, yes, yes, yes I do, I think, I would hit that.

@ManchuCandidate: My local Fox affiliate ran the “Communitarians” episode last night. A quote mine. I forgot them all.

@redmanlaw: Henry Rollins is so earnest. And when you listen to him, its obvious that it takes him all of his muscles to think. I mean, he is straining.

@redmanlaw: I can’t take credit for the Parker trolling. I got the tip from Princess Sparkle Pony.
Anyone else got “Get down, boogie oogie oogie, get down….” playing in your head now?

@Mistress Cynica: No, I’ve just have The Internationale going through my head, just like everyday for the past two weeks since our Glorious New Hopey Overlord was elected. That and the queers started marching in the streets.

@Mistress Cynica: No, but now I have “Electric Slide” stuck in my head.

ESPN Sports radio are runnin round my brain. Until half an hour ago, it was the dulcet tones of NFL analyist Michelle Tafoya for a three hour block.

@nojo: I think that would assume that Malkin has a heart, which is at best faulty.

Does anyone else think that Eric Holder looks like Montgomery Burns in profile?

So do ya think they’ll make Parker dig her own grave first?

And I’ve not read anything about this Republican party soul-searching BS that’s allegedly happening now. Is it under the bed? Did they check between the sofa cushions? Still nothing? The wingtards are goin’ full-on kahrazee-speed ahead in Congress and the press.

Kathleen Parker is asking people who have no concept of self-reflection to reflect upon what she and all of them hath wrought. It is a fool’s errand, and Parker has looked like a fool much too often over the past couple decades, even if she is right.

The kamikaze only continues unabated; hopefully we are not the collateral damage of the Adkisson Brigades, as FCS usually puts it. Let them put Bible Spice up there as their champion. After four more years of rat-fucking on her end in Alaska, there will be more enemies crawling out of the woodwork in Anchorage, Juneau, and Wasilla.

Her best chance to stay relevant died with Ted Stevens’ career.

@flippin eck: Her name also came up on a neighborhood listserv to which I subscribe. Apparently she and her husband met at a local bar (note to SFL: it was Bedrock Billiards) and still have friends in the area. It’s a small, small world.

The Republican Party doesn’t have an intelligentsia.

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