Stinque Book Club

Who Has to Croak for Me to Get Some Sales Around Here?

Happy Magic Realism Day!Title: “One Hundred Years of Solitude”

Author: Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Inventive, amusing, magnetic, sad, and alive.”

Review: “Hats off to those who could finish it. I, unfortunately, could not.”

Customers Also Bought: Everything else they ignored in College Lit.

Footnote: Also #14, #20, #30, and #40. Watch yer back, Frozen tie-ins.

One Hundred Years of Solitude [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Crib Wars

Jesus died for your taste in children’s books.Title: “The Berenstain Bears and the Easter Story”

Authors: Mike Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

Rank: 9

Blurb: “The Bear cubs and Papa are candy-crazy this Easter! But Mama, with help from Papa, tells the cubs about Jesus’ resurrection and shows them that salvation is much sweeter than candy. Includes a colorful sticker set.”

Review: “The raging offense of the Berenstains is the post-feminist Papa Bear, the Alan Alda of Grizzlies, a wimp so passive and fumbling he makes Dagwood Bumstead look like Batman.” —Charles Krauthammer, 1989

Customers Also Bought: “Dinosaurs Eggs with Mini Toy Dinosaur Figures Inside”

Footnote: We’re more than a little curious about the backstory, since Papa Berenstain was Jewish and Mama Berenstain was Episcopalian.

The Berenstain Bears and the Easter Story [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

Title: “The Last Days of Jesus: His Life and Times”

Author: Bill O’Reilly

Rank: 10

Blurb: “Two thousand years ago, Jesus walked across Galilee; everywhere he traveled he gained followers. His contemporaries are familiar historical figures: Julius Caesar, Caesar Augustus, Herod the Great, Pontius Pilate. It was an era of oppression, when every man, woman, and child answered to the brutal rule of Rome. In this world, Jesus lived, and in this volatile political and historical context, Jesus died — and changed the world forever.”

Review: “My grandson loves to read and has just been baptized. He is a teenager and big into history of all kinds. He learns a lot from the books by O’Reilly.”

Customers Also Bought: “RectiCare Anorectal Cream”

Footnote: Actually, Paul changed the world forever. Or Constantine. We don’t tend to credit sand for pearls.

The Last Days of Jesus [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Oh No He Didn’t

Been There, Done That.Title: “The Answer: Proof of God in Heaven”

Authors: Marius Forte and Sam Sorbo

Rank: 50

Stunningly Simple Blurb…

The secret to life is simple, but since human beings have had organized thoughts the same questions have surfaced again and again: Why do we exist? What is the purpose of life? Is there a God? If so, is He good? But if He is a good God, how could He permit so much suffering in this world? Why do bad things happen to good people? Where are we coming from and where are we going? And why are we going at all? Is there life after death? Can we be 100% sure? Was this world just created by chance or does it follow a plan?

Read more »

Revenge of the Nerd

Kick me.Title: “Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You”

Author: Greg Gutfeld

Rank: 33

Blurb…

Behind every awful, dangerous decision lurks one evil beast: the Cool.

From politics to the personal, from fashion to food, from the campus to the locker room, the desire to be cool has infected all aspects of our lives. At its most harmless, it is annoying. At its worst, it is deadly, on a massive scale. The Cool are the termites of life, infiltrating every nook and cranny and destroying it from within. The Cool report the news, write the scripts, teach our children, run our government — and each day they pass judgment on those who don’t worship at the altar of their coolness. The cool fawn over terrorists, mock the military, and denigrate employers. They are, in short, awful people.

Read more »

Trippin’ USA

I’m stoned out of my head.Title: “Rush Revere and the First Patriots: Time-Travel Adventures With Exceptional Americans”

Author: Rush Limbaugh

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Whoa there, young historians! Before we go rush, rush, rushing off anywhere, I’d like a moment. I’m Liberty, Rush Revere’s loquacious equine companion — his trusty talking horse! Always at the ready to leap from the twenty-first century into America’s past, that’s me. When he says ‘Let’s go!’ I’m so there. I’m jazzed, I’m psyched, I’m—”

Review: “Was that Rush Limbaugh singing on the audio!?”

Customers Also Bought: “Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You” by Greg Gutfeld

Footnote: We’re starting to understand OxyContin.

Rush Revere and the First Patriots [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Raging Bullies

I piss on you from a marginally greater height.Title: “The 48 Laws of Power”

Author: Robert Greene

Rank: 88

Blurb: “For those who want power, watch power, or want to arm themselves against power, The 48 Laws of Power is ‘The Rules for suits’.”

Review: “It does not matter if you want to play the game or not, you are in it.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Art Of War” by Sun Tzu

Footnote: There is only one law of power: Those who possess it will wield it to their advantage. The rest is footnotes.

The 48 Laws of Power [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]