Down and Out in Swampy Acres

Let me guess, he’s single.

I love how dumb people incorrectly use italics and quotation marks for emphasis.

If dumb-ass is going to incorrectly read/parse “No person except a natural born Citizen or a Citizen of the United States at the time of the adoption of this Constitution…” to mean that Negros/mulattos can’t be president, then you can also incorrectly read that phrase to meant that the only people who can be president were the ones who were living as a citizen in the U.S. in 1789.

Vote Zombie Crypt-Keeper 2012!

Love the “[purported] ratification” bit – that says more about this guy than the whole rest of the thing. Must be one of those neoconfederate assclowns who’s still pissed about losing the war.

Yo.

See you like in a week or so.

Sorry I missed the fapping.

Carry on.

Oh. So Breitbart kicked it. Pfft.

@SanFranLefty: I just got me a zombie hunting license courtesy of RML’s post on FB. You may want one too: I’ve been to San Francisco.

Like Barry would ever win Alaska … what a maroon.

There was fapping and nobody told me!?!?!!?

@SanFranLefty: What I love is that he seems to think that law is a series of incantations, that if you write things just so, magic happens!

That, and the adorable subject-verb mismatches.

@SanFranLefty:
The Epperlys filed a federal suit in 1990. The suit appears to have something to do with citizenship and the IRS. He discusses his case on the Yahoo group: Tips and Tricks for Going to Court under the moniker LegalBear7.

[9] On November 2, 1990, Appellants Gordon, Esther, Niels, and Bobbi Epperly (“Epperlys”), appearing pro se, filed an amended complaint asserting various claims including: (1) that several unidentified employees of the United States Government have “trespassed” on their real property located in Alaska by arbitrarily classifying such land as “wetlands”, and that such classification constitutes a taking of property without compensation in violation of the Fifth Amendment; (2) that Appellants are entitled to a refund of all federal income taxes paid given that they are “American Inhabitants” who possess sovereign powers and immunities and are thus “nonresident aliens” as defined by the tax code; and (3) that IRS employee number 2981806539 violated their constitutional rights under Article Four as well as the First, Fifth, Ninth, and Tenth Amendments by mailing Gordon Epperly a letter stating that he had been assessed $500 for filing a frivolous tax return.*fn1 See E.R. p. 7-15 (Amended Complaint, p. 5-13); Appellants’ Brief, p. 9-20. In their amended complaint, Appellants further request a declaration that the Fourteenth Amendment was never ratified. See E.R. p. 13 (Amended Complaint, p. 11).

@texrednface: He’s also a regular in the letters section of the local paper. Of course. Your basic Small-Town Crank. To the degree that he’s representative of Birthers Across America, I can’t say. But he’s thoroughly representative of Small-Town Cranks.

My high school social-studies teacher brought one to class one day — Dean Kennedy, because I still remember the name decades later. He regaled us with tales (and extensive documentation) of the Mulatto Conspiracy, which may have been the first time I had heard the M-word. We spent the next week snickering that somebody could be so batshit crazy.

The teacher would probably be fired today for letting such a Dangerous Individual into the room. But I’ve always seen it as an example of the value of Free Discussion. Dean Kennedy inoculated me against the Dean Kennedys of the world for life.

@nojo: Thank you. I had a question for SanFran Lefty regarding Mr. Epperly’s suit but I just ran out of steam before I could ask it. I think my question was : “Do you understand WTF is he talking about?
Oh and the crank that came to my school was Dixie Leber (rebel spelled backwards), Grand Dragoness of the local KKK. She wore her robe and tall pointy hood hat. I shit you not. And when she took took her tall pointy hood hat off her wig came off with it.

Tumblr is good for fapping. Or so I’ve heard.

@texrednface: When her wig came off, did the class laugh? (How old were her auditors/onlookers?)

@texrednface: @nojo: My 9th grade American History teacher was obsessed with the Kennedy assassination, and we spent two months “studying”* all the alternate theories. He tried to organize a field trip to go up to Dallas to see Dealy Plaza but the school put the kibbosh on it. Then he tried to tack it on to the band’s trip up there for state marching band championship. Lucky for me, I wasn’t a band geek, although all my friends were. Also lucky for me, my mom was a 8th/9th grade American History teacher and I had been helping her grade papers for years and so I already knew the information he was not teaching us. My classmates, not so lucky…

*I use quotation marks as it consisted of him showing the Zapruder film a hundred times, making us read things about how the Illumniati and the Mob were behind it, and having a few guest speakers.

Oh and texrednface: I think I know what he’s trying to say. However, reading it reminds me of some of the briefs I’ve seen from opposing counsel where they are so fucking incoherent and idiotic that to be able to respond, you first have to basically rewrite the thing so that it is coherent, and then write your response.

@lynnlightfoot: You’re here! Everything okay in your neck of the woods? No tornadoes?

@lynnlightfoot: Senior year Richardson High School. I don’t don’t remember anyone laughing at the wig misstep. This was 1973.
I hope you and your family and friends are alright up yonder.