Now that io9 has spilled the brains on our open-source Zombie Bible, let’s have a look at everyone else we’re beating to market:
In this first installment of the Illustrated Zombie Bible Classics series, Moses handles two zombies with his staff and his .45 while parting the waters of the Red Sea.
The Bible may be the foundation document of Western Civilization, but it hasn’t been revised in almost two millennia.
Frankly, we’re astonished that anyone can still make sense of it.
Even the majesty and poetry of the King James version sounds archaic to modern ears. Modern translations, on the other hand, just sound lame.
What’s missing? Zombies.
Sure, you can argue that our omniscient Creator saw that one coming — for what is the Resurrection but a Zombie story? What is Revelation but the greatest Zombie movie ever made? How can we even think of the End Times without Zombies?
Well, we can’t. And that’s why we’ve created the Stinque Zombie Bible.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • JACK SMITH WAS SENT BY GOD TO PUT DONALD TRUMP TO DEATH I can dream, can't I?
¡ANDREW! • JACK SMITH WAS SENT BY GOD TO PUT DONALD TRUMP TO DEATH Seems more likely he’s $hitler’s newest defense attorney trying to help him get away with all…
NOJO • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty @Burr Deming: Nothing new to say lately, alas, and I don’t wanna get stuck saying the same old…
BURR DEMING • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty Any chance you'll be back soon? You are one of the very few who can be counted on by the rest…
¡ANDREW! • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty I’m now all in favor of loading the billionaires into E-loon’s rockets.
JNOV • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty Sorry. The show is called Tehran and not Iran.
JNOV • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty Why isn’t it six pm yet? This job is boring hell. (Glad to have a job, Cosmos! Don’t fuck with…
JNOV • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty @nojo: yes it’s on Apple and I like how they compare the events of real history to the events in…
NOJO • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty @JNOV: That on Apple? No, not one of my jams, even though I did watch a lot of moon shots growing…
JNOV • Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty @nojo: blows my mind that his stans are still ballstothewall batshit. But that’s like expecting…