Stinque Personals
Your HF may have had a few drinks before this photo.  We won't get into the 'Living On A Prayer' incident.

After many drinks, but before the 'Living On A Prayer' incident

So, in case the Earth split open and belched out some sulfurous hellfire around where you live this weekend, or if you were caught wrestling with some fire-breathing wolf demon summoned from the 7th circle around, oh, say 11:15 am CST on Saturday, that would be my fault.  Oopsie!!!  You see my father was married around that time, in a god damned CATHOLIC church, and your very own homofascist read scripture.  Out loud.  To churchy people.  It was, needless to say, my first time which is a line I am not able to use often.  Besides getting my ass kicked at work, I have spent the last three weeks trying to pronounce the word ‘Colossians’ correctly on the first try.  You have no idea.

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Look, it’s bad enough that McCain’s intern flack attended our college in our hometown. But what the hell’s going on in Yamhill County?

NEWBERG — Students and campus leaders at George Fox University denounced the hanging of a life-size cardboard cutout of U.S. Sen. Barack Obama on campus, vowing to work together to fight racism and intolerance.

Our first reporting job was in McMinnville, just down the road, and while, yes, we first encountered Libertarians during our time there, the area’s gentle Republicanism never struck us as suffocating. You want nutcases, head down to Medford.

How absurd is this story? George Fox is Quaker. Then again, so was Nixon.

Effigy of Obama alarms George Fox campus [Oregon Live]