The evidence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMbd-3z3xcQ

I’ll admit – I was on the “Go 4 It” bandwagon. I pre-ordered a Favre jersey. But now the pain must stop.  Even the worst sportswriter in the world (in one of the worst sentences ever constructed) shows he understands this:

As the [Woody Johnson] World Turns, and stomachs of the Jets New York Jets ‘ long-suffering fans turn along with it as they brace for the arrival of a new coach and possible return of an old quarterback, the prospects for a Happy New Year hinge too heavily on the fragile 39-year-old hinge that belongs to Brett Favre.

Somewhere in that twisted, smoking mass of words is the right idea – it’s time for Brett to head back Mississippi. Or wherever he came from.

Read more »

Giants fan Lili prepares for the kickoff, blissfully unaware that her hero is in serious trouble:

The Giants’ dream season was thrown into turmoil Saturday when Super Bowl star Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg at a Manhattan nightclub and linebacker Antonio Pierce tried to hide the gun, police sources said.

Burress is expected to be arrested on felony weapons charges in the coming days, while Pierce’s attorney was in frantic discussions with cops last night to stave off criminal charges, police sources said.

NFL Today just said that, if convicted, Burress faces a mandatory three-and-one-half year sentence. That’s what happens when you fuck with Michael Bloomberg. And, of course, his carry permit is only for Florida and expired last year anyway.

Read more »

NHL presser: Palin to drop puck at Oct. 24 Blues game. Worked so well the last time, so why not try it again?

The comedic possibilites of this are inherent, of course.

A: “No worries about shelling out long green for a Blues jersey. The RNC’s got it under control.”

B: “If Piper’s waving an Alaskan flag, does it qualify as state business?”

C: “Do you think that, after the indignity of seeing the Cubs and the Brewers make the playoffs, Blues Fan is going to get upstaged by Philly Fan?”

D: “Jenny MacDonald, a third grader at Polk Elementary School in Clayton asks this question: ‘What does a linesman do?'” [Answer, obviously: the linesman runs the game.]

E: [PA, intoning] “Penalty on Sarah Palin — two minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct, at 5:29. Palin, two minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct, at five minutes, twenty-nine seconds.”

Where should I go with this? I put it to you, Stinquers.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day.  The long awaited “silence” interview from Sarah Palin will make the intertubes tomorrow.  I have totally suppressed the “Sarah Palin reading habits” thing tonight and have concentrated my mind on the one thing that truly matters.  Baseball.

So — now that the White Sox have finally booked their place, my take: Red Sox over Devil Rays in the ALCS, Cubs over Brewers in the NLCS, Cubs take the Series.

Open season, folks.  Who you got?