The Winter of our Discontent

The evidence:

I’ll admit – I was on the “Go 4 It” bandwagon. I pre-ordered a Favre jersey. But now the pain must stop.  Even the worst sportswriter in the world (in one of the worst sentences ever constructed) shows he understands this:

As the [Woody Johnson] World Turns, and stomachs of the Jets‘ long-suffering fans turn along with it as they brace for the arrival of a new coach and possible return of an old quarterback, the prospects for a Happy New Year hinge too heavily on the fragile 39-year-old hinge that belongs to Brett Favre.

Somewhere in that twisted, smoking mass of words is the right idea – it’s time for Brett to head back Mississippi. Or wherever he came from.

We know Bill Cowher won’t come as long as Favre remains.  So fire Brett, and fire that nimrod GM, Tannenbaum, who pushed to bring Favre to New York in the first place. This would give Cowher the control he wants. Or get Mike Shanahan – he’s what – 138-86 over 14 years as Broncos head coach?

And yes I’m grouchy – there’s no hot water in my building this morning.


WARNING from a Broncos fan about Shanahan: Do not give him personnel control and expect your defense to suck. The reason he got fired is because he doesn’t know talented defenders at all.

His offensive genius rep was borne on the back of Terrell Davis and John Elway.

@Signal to Noise: Perhaps, but someone had to fit those pieces together. Elway, admittedly, wasn’t as big a prima donna as Favre, but I think Shanahan has the stones to handle Brett if we’re truly stuck with him for another season. As they’ve been saying all week – this is a ‘win now’ team. Now if we could just get Favre to stop throwing to defenders with no Jet in the vicinity …

@Signal to Noise: And there’s STILL no fucking hot water …

May your hot water soon be swirling down the drain and take the USC Toejams with it.

@Dodgerblue: I have no dog in the college football fight … which reminds me – is Michael Vick out yet? The Jets could use him.

And there’s STILL no hot water. At least the steam radiators are back on. And nobody’s shelling the building.

Brett is the Dick Clark of the NFL. e won go ‘way.

Winter Classic, anyone? It’s better than UGA-Michigan State in a credit card company’s re-named bowl game.

@Signal to Noise: Meh … I’m not feeling it. Just watched Amazing Rescues on NatGeo – have you noticed that most of the stupid people who light themselves on fire, get in the way of a crocodile, wreck their boats, etc., are from New Zealand?

Wonder if CB is at the game …

TJ: Here’s the clip of Kathy Griffin telling a heckler “I don’t come to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth” that mellbell mentioned last night. If you had any lingering doubts about Anderson Cooper’s orientation, his interaction with Kathy should remove them.

@Mistress Cynica: Hysterical. And I STILL HAVE NO FUCKING HOT WATER.
@Signal to Noise: Flipped Winter Classic on, but I’m not in the mood to see another Detroit team get hammered. Those poor people – GM, Chrysler, Ford, the Lions, and now this. 3-1 Chicago after 1st period. Brutal.

@Mistress Cynica: That’s fuckin GREAT!

@blogenfreude: Sorry about the hot water. And the Jets. But you CANNOT HAVE BILL COWHER, nobody can have Cowher until the Stillers have won the Supe with Tomlin. I honestly think that is what keeps him from getting back into coaching. He’s a standup guy, and wants to be loved when he comes back to the ‘burgh to play get beat.

@blogenfreude: CB said last night he was going. I couldn’t care less about hockey, though. I’m watching the Rose Bowl only because I’m forced to remain inside today.

@Mistress Cynica: The “honey” is all you need–case closed.

@nabisco: I have fixed myself a large Old Bay Bloody* to keep me warm until the hot water returns.

*use low-sodium V8 since Old Bay has celery salt – balances better. 1/2 tsp OB mixed into the vodka, add V8, dust w/ OB. Celery optional.

@blogenfreude: Do you belong to a gym? Go there and shower. That’s my secret.

And quitcher bitchin’ about the Jets. My fucking Cowboys choked yet again. I blame Jessica Simpson.

@SanFranLefty: You are a COWBOYS fan? You fell for that “America’s Team” shit? Oy. That team is doomed until Jerry Jones fires himself as coach/GM etc.

I grew up a Redskins fan, but I now hate them because they killed my father. I think he had another few years in him had they been a better team in the late 70s. That is why I reflexively hate the Cowboys. That and they hail from the reddest of states, the land of Bush.

@SanFranLefty: And no – no gym, but the HW just came on. At last I can shower and run the dishwasher.

@blogenfreude: Texas is not the land of Bush, he was born in fucking Connecticut and went to boarding school in New England. He has the worse fake Texas accent I’ve ever heard.

yes, I’m a COWBOYS fan, I grew up there. Who else was I supposed to cheer for, the fucking Oilers?! I always felt so deprived in elementary school because I didn’t get one of those shiny powder blue “Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders” jackets that all the cool girls had. My number 2 team was the Rams, because my parents were from El Ay, and then the 49ers.

The only team I hate more than the Redskins is the NY Giants.

When Eli Manning brings home the goods, your hate will be complete. BTW – I am wearing my NYG championship tee-shirt from last year. It smells like victory.

And sorry – I know W’s pedigree, but Texas assclowns elected him governor twice. Texas owns him now.

@SanFranLefty: I can’t believe I adore someone who is a fan of both the Cowboys and the Longhorns. I guess it is possible their fans are decent human beings. Who knew?

@SanFranLefty: The Bushes brag about their place in Burke’s Peerage. They’re not even really from Connecticut. They’re fucking alien Saxons of some sort.

@Mistress Cynica: One of my pals is a Cowboys fan – grew up in NJ and went to Rutgers. His dad is a Giants fan and, I am sure, wonders about whether his son is actually his. My pal says he was born a Cowboys fan. He is normal in every other respect.

@Mistress Cynica: That was great.
You’d be better off french kissing a doberman than heckling Ms Griffen

@Dodgerblue: I thought Staubach was Tom Landry with a slightly shorter pole up his ass. And padding.

@blogenfreude: My Dad was Skins fan all the way so thats how I was brought up.

They pretty much alienated me when they moved out of the city- the idiot owner doesn’t help, either. I’ve sort of adopted the Ravens, they’re a bit closer and I like physical teams.

My other team is whoever is playing Dallas, in which case I’m rooting for a meteor to destroy the field….

@SanFranLefty: Of course you aren’t – you can spell!

@SanFranLefty: Texas IS the land of Bush- and Texas gets double demerits because they adopted him and elected him, giving him the leg up he needed to inflict himself off on the rest of us….

@fupduk: Okay, fine, but I left Texas shortly after that moran was elected. And Texas can also claim: Jim Hightower, Lloyd Doggett, Charlie Wilson, Molly Ivins, Sarah Weddington, Liz Carpenter, and my two favorites, Ann Richards and Barbara Jordan.

@SanFranLefty: Molly, Sarah, Ann, and Barbara more than make up for everything. You pretty much have to go back to Will and Woody to make up for Oklahoma’s sins, and I’m not sure that’s enough. As for SC, pretty much irredeemable. Damned if I can come up with a positive contribution they’ve made to this country since the Revolutionary War.

Those are all good people. All kidding aside, I’ve got nothing against TX. My dad was born in Cass County in East Texas and I have relatives all over Cass County and Shreveport LA.

Speaking of discontent and angst, has anyone seen Revolutionary Road yet? Mr. SFL and I are going to see it Saturday and I am a big Kate Winslet fan (despite Titanic) and a big Leo fan (despite Titanic) and a Yates fan.

Oh, and fucking Trojans. DodgerBlue, go take that piss you keep talking about. At least UT won January 2006.

@Mistress Cynica:
Oh and P.S. about kick-ass Texas women:
When we go drinking when you’re in SF for the book fest (which will hopefully coincide with Benedick’s and LuxMentis’s visits to my town) I will tell you a very hilarious story involving me hanging out with Sarah Weddington and Liz Carpenter and us drinking a lot of liquor. And I have several Molly, Ann, and BJ (get your mind out of the gutter, that was her nickname) stories. Including my dog being buddies at the dog park with Molly’s gorgeous ginormous poodle.

It makes me sad – the kick-ass Texas women are leaving us.

The idea of playing an NHL game outdoors is appealing. But, having watched today’s match between the perennially cup-holding Red Wings and the resurgent Black Hawks, there was more excitement about the venue (Wrigley Field) than the game itself . Past pro stars, including Bobby “Golden Jet” Hull, “Terrible Ted” Lindsay, and Stan Mikita.were on hand.
The truly amazing thing that happened : the ongoing saga of 46-year old
former Blackhawk and now (for nearly ever). defenseman Chris Chelios of the Red Wings. His ability to meet the standard of play in the NHL of today is probably never going to induce him to do the Favre-ian Waffle. He’ll know when he’s done.

Don’t overlook the Colts, NFL fans. After a virtually Manningless early season with poor results, they’ve won nine in a row to garner a sixth seed (Whoop-di-doo!) But if they can even the score with old nemesis Sandy Eggo Saturday, I like their chances to go all the way.

@SanFranLefty: My big nephew Jamie spent Christmas eve with me this year, Jamie is my favorite relative, he is a big hulking man of 35 or so, my oldest nephew, and I am closer in age to him than any of my siblings. He was a tremendous athlete, but bad attitude doomed him, in high school; he was 6 foot and 220, a big bg boy, they made him a guard. He wanted to be a running back, but they made him a guard. So his senior year, he went out for track, as a sprinter. 6 foot, 220, 4.3 40. Oh well, injuries, politics, no college for him. But he is an amazing scientific knowledgeable expert on football, I love watching games with him, his analysis of each player’s technique, why this happened, why that one was caught off guard, is bettter than anything I have ever heard from the pros.

So, we get talking football, and I start touting Tebow as a person who is changing the definition of quarterback, then I tell him about the most amazing run I ever saw, in which Tebow’s backup QB two years ago, a massive guy, on a run play, simply ran straight over a linebacker who was braced and ready and hit him perfectly in the numbers straight on, and the guy ran straight on over him, upended him, and left footprints up his chest. So we start talking who was the most physical running back ever, and he just immediately says “Earl Campbell.”

This is where we get back to the Oilers, SFL. Campbell was before my time, I only remember his Skoal commercials. So I go to youtube and find some Earl Campbell highlight films. Oh my fucking God! The man could not be tackled. He would run over 2 or 3 people in one play. He’d run right into a group of tacklers, and just throw them aside, run over them, through them, reach back, swat them off his back and keep going. Amazing. There was a reason to watch the Oilers. Him and Bum Phillips, whom I still love.

@EffeteHipster: fuck Philip Rivers in his ass-face. Why? Just because. I am a Colts fan this weekend.

And it was so good to watch USC wax the floor with what turned out to be another overrated Big Televen team. At least Penn State didn’t roll over and scored something in the 4th quarter.

@Promnight: watching those highlight films and seeing the state that Earl Campbell is in now is disarming and very, very depressing.

earl campbell is the only reason to love the oilers.

he is the muhammed ali of football. amazing and sad.

my hand hurts so fucking bad when i take it off the ice.

cannot type

bye bye

I remain absolutely clueless about professional sports, but there was a fascinating piece in the New Yawker a few weeks back, by — my god, Gladwell? — about the difficulties of predicting how well a college QB would perform in the pros. (Including a nod to a Duck who may or may not have claimed the side of a Manhattan building; I lose track.)

Came down to apples and oranges, in effect: Nobody runs a spread offense in the pros, and all those hot college types never really have to think on their feet.

Oh, and, uh, Go Chargers! So my neighbor informs me.

oh and, and, uh, go eagles! and penn state! so my husband infoms me.

prommie, post some of those campbell clips. highlights are bearable.
the best part of a football game is the player’s ass’s. woo woo!

@SanFranLefty: Texas Tech has no defense. Conventional wisdom is being confirmed by this game. Things look good for the Gators.

@baked: Here’s Earl, not so much sexy, as fearsome.

@Promnight: Good thing Mrs RML is out this afternoon or she’d be bummin hard about Texas Tech. Have not spoken with her mom about the game yet.

/back to reloading bench

@redmanlaw: I blame myself for rooting for Tech. My support is the kiss of death in bowl games this year. They might as well just give the BCS trophy to Florida right now.

@Mistress Cynica: Well, Texas beat Oklahoma, Texas Tech beat Texas, but then Oklahoma drove Texas Tech to school in the minivan of pain. Now Ole Miss shows the Big 12 a bit of SEC football playing, and ya know, Ole Miss Beat Florida! So no matter the outcome, Ole Miss has good arguments. Except for one thing; they are only the fourth or 5th best team in the SEC, finishing 5-3 in the toughest conference in the Nation. And Wake Forest beat them, which is like getting beat by the powder-puff team.

But really, you are right, Give it to the Florida defense now.

@Promnight: And the Ole Miss band plays “Dixie” as the mostly African American starting line-up comes out to accept the trophy. Nice.

@Jamie Sommers: Yes, Bum, of course..
@redmanlaw: Tell Mrs. RML I’m sorry about the Red Raiders. I blame their losses on them being in a dry county.

@redmanlaw: I watched the “Gonzo” documentary today. I’m speechless, it was awesome.

@nabisco: Have you seen “buy the ticket, take the ride”? Loved it.

@nabisco: What was the full name? if its what I think it is, its on Netflix instant streaming whatever. Cool.

@Promnight: It is on Netflix, and I watched it yesterday, so you have to watch it tomorrow to keep the streak going.

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