Like Primaries, Only Fun

Is this the Heather Locklear thread?

AL:

Less Beckett = BoSox trouble. Angels in 5.
White Sox don’t hit as well outside of Not-Comiskey. Rays in 4.

Halos over Rays in 6 due to pitching and hitters having been there before.

NL:

Milwaukee can’t pitch Sabathia every day, so Phillies in 4.
The Dodgers’ offense will sputter against real pitching from time to time, Cubs in 4.

Cubs get revenge for last year; Soriano knocks Pujols-like shot to shatter Brad Lidge once again. Chicago in 7.

WS: Since AL has home-field advantage, Cubs should make sure to run Jason Marquis and Carlos Zambrano in games in Chicago, when there will be a serious advantage to having good pitchers hit while Anaheim’s pitchers have to strike out or bunt. However, the Angels rotate their DH; they can survive without it.

Cubs in 7, because I’m an NL homer.

Signal to Noise: They’ll pitch Dempster at home, by any means necessary. He’s been a straight-up stud at Wrigley.

There. That’s better.

nojo: AWESOME. You and your photoshopping.

I’m rooting for the Cubs because I love the underdog, but I think that the Dodgers may pull it out of their collective asses. Represent California!

@SanFranLefty: I’m tired of your San Francisco values.

And please FSM, may Chicago Bureau be right. This lifelong Cubs fan is begging. I can’t live with another 2003.

And if for some reason it is Cubs vs. White Sox in the Series, I will try to remember to send a DNA sample to one of you so that you may identify and claim my body from the smoldering wreckage where Chicago once stood.

@homofascist: Dude, any year the Yankees aren’t around I’m happy as Veruca Salt at a candy factory. I love the idea of a Cubs v. White Sox series – just so long as you don’t have a catastrophe on the level of the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake that disrupted the Bay Area As v. Giants World Series…

@SanFranLefty: My boy Mike and I were on our way to the Gila Mountains for a few days of fall fishing then. We were listening to the game when the signal goes out, so we popped in a tape and hit the road. We didn’t hear about the earthquake for a few days until we resurfaced from the mountains. We saw a bull elk the size of his Forerunner that night near Mogollon.

Saw four pronghorn and three massive hawks last week near the ranch, btw.

Meh, I got the Mariners. I’m a fair weather fan, and it’s been raining a looong time up here.

@chicago bureau: you speak truth. I think he’s only lost once at the friendly confines this year. I think all the Cub pitchers hit relatively well, giving them advantages if they make the series.

@SanFranLefty: I loathe anyone who has anything to do with the Dodgers not named Vin Scully, but in a sort of liberated fandom, I root for Many Ramirez to make the playoffs every year. It isn’t October without Manny.

Two ways this post-season could be better:
1) No Yankees OR Red Sox
2) The Mets hadn’t folded up like a cheap tent.

I like this “Stinque Sports” category. I humbly request some college football talk.

@Signal to Noise: Just throw it in, like my Broncos threw in the towel against the Chefs on Sunday, and the Cowboys, who had a home game scheduled but didn’t show up.

Mrs RML’s alama mater, Texas Tech, was briefly in the Top Ten, btw. We kilt their horse one year.

I’m cheering for the DEVIL rays this playoffs. I would have cheered for the Twinkies but they lost the tie breaker to some team from Cheetown, uh, Southside, er, Illinois, well some place that Barry’s from.

Now that the Yanks failed to make it, I feel better. Only if there was some way to get rid of Red Sox Nation. I, for one, am getting sick and fucking tired of “Sweet Caroline.”

Let’s talk about a competition that really matters, i.e., one I care about. It’s the last PR elimination before Bryant Park. Please, oh please, Dear FSM, let the hateful Veronica Lodge make it thiiiiiss close to the final, only to be brutally auf’d at the last minute. Please. I’ve been good and I’ve had a crappy week. I need this.

The only thing I care about, when it comes to baseball, is this: When did “throwing out the first pitch,” a ceremony in which the dignitary, seated in the stands, threw the ball to the pitcher on the mound, so the pitcher could throw the first pitch, turn into this “throwing the first pitch” shit? I regard this is a perfect metaphor for the downfall and degradation of our society, in so many ways.

I become completely paralyzed with frustrated rage whenever I see someone “throwing the first pitch” at my inability to just grab them by the throat and slap them fucking silly mfor fucking up an old and hallowed tradition in such vulgar and selfg-aggrandizing fashion. I think its of a piece with calling the attorney general “general,” an example of illiteracy actually changing the rules out of ignorance.

@Mistress Cynica: Now that’s what a Stinque thread is all about – sports and the Rungay!

@Mistress Cynica: Sorry Miss Cyn, I am afraid that Jerrell is going to get the auf. Everyone hates Kenley too much for them to eliminate her (so she can annoy everyone during the Bryant Park show). But look at the bright side – the disappointment will be good practice for when Talibunny is president on November 5!

@redmanlaw: you’re a Broncos fan too? I’m still trying to black out Sunday retroactively.

@Mistress Cynica: Jerrell gets on my nerves almost as much as Kenley, so I will be happy if either goes.

@SanFranLefty: Jerrell’s grown on me. Kenley’s screeching just sends me over the edge. But yes @homofascist, I guess it is good practice for Pres. Palin. At this point I just hope I get home in time to see it, the way my day is going.

@SanFranLefty: I hate everyone except Leanne and Korto at this point (I’m still mourning Terri! *sniff!). And it’s not like I’m super-in-love with even them. I’m most excited to see each and every one of them cry tonight, as the previews promise!

@nojo: I love your photoshopping too. And thanks for sidebar blog-link! It got me to finally write something new for that scrapheap.

@Prommie: Are there AG’s running around in uniforms and calling themselves General, as in the military rank? In this country?

@Signal to Noise: Since they had the old unis with Craig Morton and when Elway was the new guy and sucked, which is why I said to give Jay Cutler a chance. I was never a fan of tha Snake. I was coming in and out of napping in the LR daddy chair on Sunday, so I’m really not sure that Sunday happened . . .

@homofascist: HF, I hope you are keeping the mojo going at Wrigley; I walked out of the pizza parlor after Dempsey walked Manny, but Cubbies were still up 3-0.

I’m an NL guy from Pa, but hate the Phils so anybody but them. Dodgers are a lousy-with-money Cali team. I pretty much can’t follow b’ball these days since my team the Pirates slipped down to the minors in 93.

A Cubbies-ChiSox series would be great, to push the Hopey meme. Come to think of it, how awesome would it be to have Black Eagle throw out the first pitch next Spring, and how painful in many ways for Geezer to do it?

@redmanlaw: It’s a Steeler nation, bub, the rest of us are just borrowing it.

@FlyingChainSaw: You have not noticed, during senate hearings, even, Republican senators calling republican AG’s “General Ashcroft” and “General Lying Shit For Brains,’ oh, no, I meant “Gonzalez?” And making similar statements on pundit shows? To me it is perhaps their worst crime.

@Promnight: What? Like it’s a rank? The word in the title has nothing to do with a military rank. Ike would have vomited blood.

@FlyingChainSaw: You mean you haven’t heard it, seen it? Yes, the fucktard pigfuckers do think its a rank, they say it all the time.

@Promnight: Oh, goodness. I hope they are joking. This is evidence of deep fuckwittedness if the aren’t.

@nabisco: youhatethephillies?

@FlyingChainSaw: Here: http://www.cardozo.yu.edu/life/spring2003/generals/

I have heard it much more often from republican senators and representatives when speaking in public about republican attornies general and even surgeons general.

@Promnight: Gosh, we’re fucked.

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh yes we are.

I am thinking its the end time, and the only appropriate thing to do is wanton sex, mass orgies in the streets, while we still have food to eat. We will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Its what we are doing anyway, sans the wanton sex, might as well have fun on the way if we are just sliding down the chute.

Or we could organize that subsistence commune thingy.