The Candidate

Steigler: Mr. Gardner, uh, my editors and I have been wondering if you would consider writing a book for us, something about your, um, political philosophy, what do you say?

Chance: I can’t write.

Steigler: Heh, heh, of course not, who can nowadays? Listen, I have trouble writing a postcard to my children. Look, uh, we can give you a six-figure advance, I’ll provide you with the very best ghostwriter, proofreaders…

Chance: I can’t read.

Steigler: Of course you can’t! No one has the time! We, we glance at things, we watch television…

Chance: I like to watch TV.

Steigler: Oh, oh, oh sure you do. No one reads!

OMG: Palin can’t name one magazine/newspaper she reads [C&L]

Palin Opens Up On Controversial Issues [CBS]


Ho-lee shit – she makes Quayle look like a Rhodes scholar.

Palins. Meet the Palins.
They’re the modern stone age family.
From the State of Alaska,
They’re a page right out of insanity.

Let’s drive with the family to the zoo.
Through the courtesy of Todd’s Skidoo.

When you’re with the Palins
you’ll have a fundamentalist time.
A bible doo time.
You’ll have a gay-but-not-in-that-way-gay old time.

Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side.

Meanwhile, Talibunny lookalikes are being recruited for a porno. From Princess Sparkle Pony. Insert “Drilling Alaska” jokes here.

@redmanlaw: I’m having trouble with that raw story link, but last I saw Eagle was riding upswing momentum in PA but just keeping it close in FL and OH. The dynamic in PA remains the same as in the primaries: the only populated areas (Philly and P’burgh) trend liberal Dem in the urbs, the gamble is in the burbs where they’ve become more conservative. In central PA there are lots of elites (Eagle) but lots of yahoos (McCain), if Barry takes the middle he’s golden.

@rptrcub: Way too late, I have already seen Talibunny lookalike porn on Fleshbot. Like last week. Guess what, put those glasses on any brunnette, instant talibunny!

@Prommie: I suggest In what way, Charlie? as the sequel to “Drill here, drill now”.

@blogenfreude: I’m deeply afraid however that the bar has been set soooooo low for her that anything short of deer-in-the-headlights will be a win for her tomorrow. And then there’s the Gwen Ifil thing that the wingnuts are drumming up….

The one thing I think we may all be forgetting is that when Caribou Barbie fails to name any books, she keeps her Pigfucker cred. “Yeah, she don’t have to tell you what heathen books she reads!” goes the refrain. Her inability to name books just keeps her from looking like some elite asshole.

This transcript was posted in Americablog. The mind reels. The head asplodes yet again:

NPR: Given what you’ve said Senator, is there an occasion where you could imagine turning to Governor Palin for advice in a foreign policy crisis.

MCCAIN: I’ve turned to her advice many times in the past, I can’t imagine turning to Senator Obama or Senator Biden cuz they’ve been wrong, they were wrong about Iraq, wrong about Russia…

NPR: But would you turn to Governor Palin?

MCCAIN: I certainly wouldn’t turn to them, and I’ve already turned to Governor Palin particularly on energy issues and I’ve appreciated her background and knowledge on that and many other issues.

NPR: Does her energy qualification extend to the international energy market?

MCCAIN: Of course. Of course. That’s what it’s all about. It extends to a broad variety of issues from her worldview to threats that we face, to radical Islamic extremism, to specific areas of the world. I’m very proud of her, and proud of the knowledge and background that she has.

@Prommie: Mine just asploded. And I’m a coupla floors above the very office where Bud Dwyer did the deed live on teevee.

Remember the days when The Constitution allowed that the presidential candidate that came in second place was the VP? I don’t remember how long it took for them to amend it, but would a Obama McCain or McCain Obama (with the unfortunate demise of McCain due to natural reasons) look better than a McCain Palin administration?

@nabisco: Ya always gotta worry about Pennsyltucky.

@Prommie: There’s that woman that just quit because she’s preggers who could do her (ha ha). Um…whatshername?

@nabisco: Swing State Poll story: “The Democratic candidate has surpassed 50 percent in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida, and he holds leads over Republican John McCain of eight to 15 points, according to a new Quinnipiac swing state poll.

In Florida, its Obama with support from 51 percent of voters to McCain’s 43 percent. Ohio has it for Obama 50-42, and Pennsylvania gives Obama his larges lead 54-39, according to the poll. The poll reflects a small bounce compared to Obama’s pre-debate numbers and reflects more voter confidence in his ability to handle the economy.

Gov. Sarah Palin’s sagging favorability and more voter confidence in Sen. Barack Obama’s ability to handle the economy are propelling the Democrat to wider likely voter leads over Republican John McCain in Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, according to simultaneous Quinnipiac University Swing State polls released today.

Quinnipiac notes that no president has been elected since 1960 without winning two of those three swing states.”

@redmanlaw: That whole “since 1960” meme? No Senator has been elected preznit since then either, although that may bode well for the Bunny and the ultimate October surprise. .

Nojo, if you have time between your real job and creating new virtual islands for the disaffected cynic, howzabout whipping up some of that Yoda magic and analyze us some polling trends? Cross-post it to CP, they’ve got a lot of dead air going on.

@nabisco, mojo nojo: I think you can get that offa

@nabisco: Take a quick suckle on the teat — things are looking comparatively positive.

Katie, Katie, Katie. Newspapers are so yesterday. Like the rest of us, Sarah gets her news by reading blogs…all of them!

@nabisco: Yoda Pez is taking the day off in the Grotto, but let’s try this:

Barry had a commanding lead all summer. Palin was a giant pothole in the road. Barry has a commanding lead again. The fundamentals of the election are sound.

People are seeing Palin for what she is, people are seeing Geezer’s stunts for what they are. That won’t change. But Geezer is a cornered animal, and we’re going to see some ugly desperate things this month.

And I’m still fretting about GOTV vs. Disenfranchisement. Will people be allowed to vote? That’s the chad hanging over the election.

@nabisco: Does Endy know where the party went?

Thought balloon of the day: what about the 12th amendment? We could still end up with a McCain-Plugz or Obama-Palin administration…

@nojo: Dunno. Saw that Jason left directions on HFA, where else he hang? Should we get something on milk cartons?

@nabisco: I peeked and saw a comment by Endy at the old joint, but I don’t think it appropriate that I show up there and say “Click that Stinque ad on the left, goddammit.”

Not that I’m saying anybody else shouldn’t.

@nojo: Somebody named “TonyRamone” gave him a nudge. Tumbleweeds blowing around over there…

@nojo: The fundamentals of the election are sound

My heart skipped a f*n beat when I read that, Nojo! My constitution is much too delicate to deal with ironic McCain quotes!

@BRB: The irony is semi-intentional — we’ve got a long ugly October ahead of us, and confidence shouldn’t give way to cockiness. Barry would win a fair election hands-down. But at the rate things are going, I think we should bring in U.N. observers.

@Prommie: I heard this on NPR this morning and almost drove the Honda into a ravine while shrieking with rage.

@nojo: So you’re saying it’s America’s Constitution that’s too delicate.

@BRB: Is there anything left of it? Besides the Second Amendment, of course.

@Pedonator: “You know, Cathy, it just takes Yukon Cornelius sooo long to get the blogs delivered up here that I just don’t have the time to read ’em all. I just uuused to love that Russian one, the Daily Kosmo, and that one by that red-head girl with the kitty and the glasses who taught Todd and I sooo much about how to combine our one on one policy discussions with one of our favorite ways to pass an afternoon on the bear skin rug in my office, and we don’t drink if you know what I mean.”

@BRB: Constitution is only important if you need a lot of hit points, otherwise focus on strength or dexterity. With a high enough dex, most monsters won’t even be able to hit you!

@nojo: I think there are still a few scraps left…but with skidmarks, if you know what I mean.

@nojo: Well, the way things are going, I’d be surprised if when the evangelicals really take power we won’t be fighting for the womenfolk’s right to bare arms.

@redmanlaw: Have to admit I had to google Yukon Cornelius, and now I want an action figure!

But srsly, I hear that Alaska long ago figured out how to keep the intertubez defrosted year-round.

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