The Great State of Montana corrals 989,415 souls within its borders, for which Our Great Nation bestows it two Senators and one Congresscritter. (The Great District of Columbia bats zero for three because its 601,723 souls don’t count.) And fittingly, for a state that doesn’t know how lucky it has it, that Congresscritter is Republican Denny Rehberg, who would like you to know he feels your pain:

REHBERG: I’m a small businessman. My wife is a small businessman. She hasn’t taken a salary in ten years as a result of business. We’re struggling like everyone else. With the ecnoomy.

CONSTITUENT: What’s your salary?

REHBERG: I’m land-rich and cash-poor. Like ranchers and farmers and small businessmen throughout Montana.

Cash-poor Denny Rehberg was worth $31 million in 2009, which puts him among the 422 poorest Congresscritters. But hey, like he says, his capital was tied up, so he only had his $174,000 salary to draw from. Which he’s been drawing since 2001.

Before which, small businessman Denny Rehberg drew what we’ll generously assume was a living wage as lieutenant governor of Montana from 1991 to 1997.

Not to mention the pay and per-diem he drew as a Montana House rat from 1985 to 1991.

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• Thought there would be more virgins here.
• This neighborhood has really gone downhill recently.
• Drafty. Walls full of holes.

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Our guest columnist is the Associated Press.

Editors:

Friday is royal wedding day in London and our report will look a little different.

As Prince William and Kate Middleton say their vows, The Associated Press will be alerting every development, running live video in SD and HD, tweeting and posting on Facebook, updating a multifaceted interactive, sending four radio packages an hour and filing hundreds of photographs from key vantage points.

We will also be creating something new: an hours-long running account of the wedding in progress for text subscribers — a little like what we’ve done with major sporting events such as the Super Bowl and top World Cup matches. Our text coverage for the big day will be three-tiered: A minute-by-minute running account of the events, APNewsAlerts and APNewsNows when events merit, and full stories including a mainbar and sidebars.

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Among the many delightful responses to Wednesday’s dramatic reveal of The Birth Certificate of The Preznit of These United States, pride of place must go to WorldNetDaily’s Jerome Corsi, whose upcoming book, Where’s the Birth Certificate?, just suffered the most spectacular Spoiler Alert! in American history.

Because while his life’s work goes down in flames, Jerome Corsi stands defiantly amid the destruction, proclaiming Fiddle dee dee! As God is my witness, they’re not going to lick me!

Or, more prosaically:

A key problem for Obama is that birth certificates issued to twin girls born one day later at Kapi’olani hospital, the Nordykes, are the Rosetta Stone of deciphering both Obama’s previously released short-form Certification of Live Birth and the newly released purported copy of his long-form birth certificate.

Oooooooh, a new plot twist!

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The Godrej and Boyce “Prima” typewriter is a fine machine, solidly built, and available in several languages from its Mumbai corporate home. But enjoy it while you can, because it’s the last of it kind:

To Jawaharlal Nehru, it was a symbol of independent India. C Rajagopalachari considered it a masterpiece of Swadeshi manufacturing. For the country’s industry, it was a perfect launch pad. But for a slice of what is soon going to be history, this might be the last chance. Godrej — the last manufacturer of typewriters in the world — has just 500 machines left for sale.

Wait, wait — before you pour out that bottle of Wite-Out in memory of keyboards past, this gentleman would like a word:

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Barack Obama, who with the press of a button could end humanity as we know it, uses the occasion of Monday’s White House Easter Egg Roll to test our hypothesis that no man gains from juxtaposition to a human being wearing a rabbit costume.

Previous experiments in Man-Furry Comparative Gravitas follow.

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We’re sure Bruce Caswell is a nice man. He’s a retired schoolteacher and school superintendent. He coached his high school track team to four consecutive state championships. He has a long record of community service. He’s been married for thirty-seven years.

And, as a Michigan state senator, he recently proposed denying new clothes to foster children.

Did we mention that Bruce Caswell was also named his county’s “Republican of the Year” in 2007?

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