If we told you any more, we’d have to shoot you.

Zombo.com [via 27b/6]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN7uMitPHVY

Tuesday’s news of the Abstinence Congressman’s park-pestorking prowess and Bristol Palin’s “Does Getting Paid for Sex Make Me a Whore?” tour reminded us of a classic of the genre, Sonny Bono’s 1968 anti-pot school film. It’s too long for one sitting, but Sonny shows up around 1:40, and you can drop in just about anywhere for quick amusement.

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“A dead man was elected mayor of a small Tennessee town eager to oust a woman who’d been appointed to the job after the previous mayor died, local media reports… ‘I knew he was deceased. I know that sounds stupid, but we wanted someone other than her.'” [Raw Story]

Sarah Palin hosts her first Fox News show Thursday night. Much to the surprise of the people on it.

LL Cool J upset with Palin, Fox [CNN]

Update: Fox obliges…

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Discovery channel expected to land “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” for $1 million an episode. Producer Mark Burnett’s other shows include “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” [Variety]

National Geographic bills its “Sizing Up Sperm” special as “the story of human conception as it has never been told before,” using “real people to represent 250 million sperm on their marathon quest to be first to reach a single egg.”

National Geographic’s dramatization of a Giant Tit rampaging the forest was unavailable for preview.

Sizing Up Sperm [NatGeo, via Sully/Laughing Squid]

Your extremely close-cropped face in the campaign web ad that torments our California readers is frightening the hell out of me. Please make it stop. Thank you.