https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMiQQye7vJo

“Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you’re the cause of all of this. I think you’re evil. EVIL!”

[HuffPo, via BobCens]

Update: Four Disappearing YouTube Links later, we’ve given up chasing copies that haven’t been removed. Enjoy the version at Gawker, which isn’t afraid of hosting its own theft.

Some days you wake up covered in blow, screaming in agony, unable to stay on your feet.

[via Know Your Meme]

“It’s a rite of passage to have sex in Snuffleupagus.”

—Moby, speaking on the Nerdist podcast about Muppet Christmas parties.

“An internal investigation of FreedomWorks — the prominent conservative advocacy group and super-PAC — has focused on president Matt Kibbe’s management of the organization… One potential topic for the inquiry is a promotional video produced last year… The video included a scene in which a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton.” [Mother Jones]

“A man dressed in a military-style ‘Ghillie suit’ who was attempting to provoke a Bigfoot sighting was struck by two vehicles and killed on U.S. 93 south of Kalispell Sunday night… Montana Highway Patrol Trooper Jim Schneider said ‘Obviously, his suit made it difficult for people to see him.'” [Daily Inter Lake]

To honor Memorial Day a buncha Furries got together and… well one thing led to another and let’s just say the cops had to throw a bucket of cold water on them so they could pull them apart.

If you yiff a hamster is it flash?