Happy Valentine’s Day from FreedomWorks!

“An internal investigation of FreedomWorks — the prominent conservative advocacy group and super-PAC — has focused on president Matt Kibbe’s management of the organization… One potential topic for the inquiry is a promotional video produced last year… The video included a scene in which a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton.” [Mother Jones]


Those conservatives are so stupid that they thought that the panda was “fellating” Hillary.

“A giant panda on its knees with its head in the lap of a seated Hillary Clinton and apparently fellating the then-secretary of state.” Freedom Works Executive Vice President Adam Brandon

Since conservatives appear to be unaccustomed to a woman’s private parts (only seeing them in pictures) and non-procreative heterosexual sex practices, let me explain. When a man or a woman performs oral sex on a woman that is called cunnilingus, not being “fellated”.

When your rent boy comes over and places his penis in your mouth, then he is being “fellated” by you.

Just want you to be clear on this.

@jaycubed: Reason #1,487 why one should never date a Republican.

@jaycubed: When a man performs oral sex on a woman that is called

…a miracle.

When a man performs GOOD oral sex on a woman that is called

…a miracle.


Now that I think about it, that movie is probably the first ever to depict “yiffing”.

It’s all about nose action. It might make your neck a little sore, but you don’t have to hit vibrator speeds.

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