Blagorrhea

Hey John Waters, up for another musical?

Having failed in his attempt to escape the country using the cover story of an offshore reality show, Rod Blagojevich has now apparently joined the cast of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice. NBC won’t confirm, but Blago was seen on the show’s set.

Bonus Sport Douchebag Extra: Darryl Strawberry!

Bret Michaels, Cyndi Lauper Join Celebrity Apprentice [People]

DEVELOPING HARD: Fitzy has another official in his sights. Press conference at 1500 (EDT). Early speculation is on Junior Senator From The State Of Illinois. But he has been gunning for Richard M. Daley, Mayor, for some time now. We shall see.

UPDATE: Actually, the Sun-Times has this rumor:

Federal authorities later today plan to announce charges against Ald. Ike Carothers (29th), the chairman of the City Council’s police and fire committee, sources told the Sun-Times.

Corruption in zoning?  Boring.  Never mind.  Sorry.

Blago just got himself indicted, along with his brudda, Bill Cellini (Republican heavyweight / lobbyist for Big Asphalt), and others.

Late word: he’s booked on all the late night talkshows for next week.

[But also: IOC inspectors begin their on-site evaluation of Chicago 2016… tonight.  Ah, comic timing.]

Rod Blagojevich adopts the Otter Defense, as envisioned by String Bikini Theory.

Apologies for inserting that song into your head.  The most insipid song ever written by Fleetwood Mac (which takes some doing) pairs well with the most insipid, and corrupt, Illinois politician in recent memory (which takes some doing).

So: does he resign, or does he stick to his guns?  One thing I can tell you is that Rod’s lawyer — who, frankly, sounded drunk when on camera earlier this week, complete with waddling down the street — has gotten real close to going completely mental.  I mean, the tapes will eventually be played.  If it is Blago’s voice, it’s all over.  The only thing left is the race to see who, besides Rod, can claim the prize for being the biggest idiot of them all.  It’s a big field.

Open thread, kids.  Go nuts.

Well, Blagojevich’s chief of staff wants to spend more time with his family. Weird timing seems to be an issue with these guys, you know.

But also: Lisa Madigan seeks the TRO knocking Rod out of office. It seems to be the quickest way to get him out — the Legislature then can take its sweet time to impeach him and it won’t matter because he would be toast. Plus, Lisa Madigan has, of anybody left in Illinois government, the best rep.

(Still unresolved: whether or not Lisa Madigan is hawt. I can appreciate arguments either way.)

Hope you like stripes Rod!

Christ on a cracker people, being in Chicago at this particular point in history is awesome.  Not only are we anxiously awaiting the beautiful majestic ascent of Black Eagle, we are getting to enjoy the deliciously naughty fall of Slimy Rat Weasel (must credit homofascist).  Fitzmas came early, and we thank the FSM for these gifts.

But lest you think Rod’s fuck-ups (you can’t call them indescretions because that would imply that he has some sort of discretion to begin with, and based on how fucking stupid he has shown himself to be he doesn’t deserve that much credit) are some isolated incident, let me give you a quick history of the previous 50 years of Illinois governors before hairpiece took over in 2003.

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