Constitutional scholar Glenn Beck is no stranger to channeling the ghosts of the Founders, who were avid retail gold speculators and resorted to crying when debating the finer points of establishing post roads. But today on his radio show, Beck explored a nuance of Foundational gamesmanship that had hitherto escaped us:

Do you know who wanted slaves to be counted as a full person?… Slave owners… The reason why they wanted that is because of the balance of power. The South could control the numbers in Congress. Their representation would go through the roof… That’s why, in the Constitution, African-Americans were deemed three-fifths people, because the Founders wanted to end slavery and they knew if the South could count slaves as full individuals you would never get the control to be able to abolish it.

As we know, the Founders wanted to end slavery so much, they diddled the help and waited until everyone was generations dead before addressing it. And by cleverly granting slaves three-fifths of a vote while denying them the right to vote, they were able to place themselves on the right side of history, whenever history was ready to catch up with them.

Beck Defends Founding Fathers’ Decision To Count African-Americans As Three-Fifths Of A Person [Think Progress]

Does Glenn Beck support the slave trade or is he just an “idiot”? [Media Matters, Sept. 23]

Our plan to workshop the Sarah Palin Musical off-off-off Broadway before unleashing it on a grateful public appears well-founded — especially when you consider the alternative:

In New York, Beck sold 17 tickets. In Boston, another 17. And in Washington, D.C., the hotbed of political activism, his tearful film drew only 30, Raw Story has found.

Glenn Beck’s new movie The Christmas Sweater — A Return To Redemption — released for a viewing Thursday night in hundreds of theaters across the country. While it performed better in the south and in rural, more conservative areas, his ability to draw viewers in major US markets was a bust.

“The theater’s almost empty,” a representative at Regal Cinemas in Manhattan told Raw Story moments before it began.

Perhaps it’s unfair to focus on markets where Beck didn’t stand a chance — but it was his choice to open in those markets. Then again, charging twenty bucks a head probably didn’t help. Neither did his choice to devote a major song-and-dance number to his 2008 butt surgery. We can do better.

Beck’s movie bombs in New York, Boston — and Washington, D.C. [Raw Story]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt_G6Lq9jWQ

Mean Joe’s Coke, Paul Anka’s Kodak theme — Glenn Beck misses the simpler times when we were all united in our love for sentimental product commercials.

We were also united in our hatred for Nixon, our fear of long gas lines, our disgust with the Vietnam War, and an unforgivable attraction to Tony Orlando & Dawn. All that plus wide lapels and bellbottoms!

But we’ll let a YouTube commenter have the last word: “How about you go back to a time before Fox News?”

It’s not enough that teabaggers are threatening politicians and government employees — now they’re going after kids:

About 60 people converged Monday morning on a Burlington Township elementary school that drew controversy — and nationwide attention — for a video posted on YouTube of its students singing songs praising President Barack Obama.

The protesters stood across from Bernice B. Young Elementary School, holding placards and chanting “Shame on you.” The Obama song was first staged “in recognition of Black History Month” during an eight-skit program on Feb. 27.

The school district “does not believe that protesting in front of an elementary school in session with four to seven year old children is appropriate,” according to a statement. We thought there was a rule about perverts, criminals and douchebags maintaining their distance.

Protesters gather outside Burlco school that sang Obama praises [South Jersey Courier-Post]

Beck-backing protesters raise ruckus outside much-publicized elementary school [Raw Story]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HtSb7kwTFE

Here’s a video tip SanFranLefty sent to us, showing insane host Glenn Beck and insane guest Michael Scheuer. Ha ha they love America so much they want to explode it.

Scheuer’s money quote:

The only chance we have as a country right now is for Osama bin Ladin to deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States.

To which Beck, always the affable host, is like “yes, yes, of course we need that calamity to happen”

Beck then brings it home with this cogent analysis. . .
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