Halloween Customer Survey

How satisfied were you with your candy?

Satisfied

Not satisfied

Dude, you gave me a rock

 

If Not Satisfied, which candy did you receive?

Fucking KitKat again

Bit-O-Honey? Really?

Chick Tract

 

If Chick Tract, what was the problem with it?

Foxhole conversion not believable

Lake of Fire insufficiently pants-wetting

Illustrated depiction of Paul’s Second Epistle to the Thessalonians not engaging

 

What is your likely response to your dissatisfaction?

Toilet paper

Flaming sack of shit

Sex-offender registry

 

What the hell are you, anyway?

Pirate

Fairy

Inchoate despair at the dystopian future you’re leaving me as a grownup, you damn Boomer

 

How old are you?

Seven

Nine

What’s your deal, man, I’m tall for my age

 

How likely are you to return next year?

Not likely

Very likely

My parents blame you for the edible
 

Thank you for your responses. While we strive to satisfy all ghosts, goblins, witches, and god knows what that is, if we’re gonna be stuck with a bowl of leftovers, they’re gonna be KitKats.

8 Comments

Hey! I enjoy Kitkats. Your American ones suck. Like your “Cadbury” products made by Hershey.

My former housemate used to piss me off because when he handed out candy because he would only hand out the ones he hated and keep the ones he wanted to eat.

I didn’t buy the candy for him to stuff his maw with. I ended that quickly.

@ManchuCandidate: Inside joke: I buy Halloween candy defensively, so if I’m gonna be stuck with them, they’re gonna be KitKats.

And, since I struck out tonight, I have a full bag of them.

Election disaster (?)
The real story nationwide is the shockingly poor voter turnout even for an off-year election, especially in highly educated, vote-by-mail, true blue cities like Seattle/King County at 22%. It’s a “our system of government has lost all legitimacy” result one would expect in a former Soviet republic, not the US.
This isn’t just another “dumbass Millennials and Gen Zers can’t stop TikToking long enough to vote” problem, this is a catastrophic democratic failure that enabled a racist backlash guaranteed to doom us if repeated in 2022 and 2024.
Countless people have simply given up, and you don’t need a PhD in history to know what happens when democratic societies collapse. Wish there were more good news today.

Wow, Aaron Rodgers really hit the toxic masculinity trifecta of narcissism, selfishness, and entitlement. He’s even managed to further demoralize Jeopardy fans. Whattan asshole.

OMG Infrastructure Week is here for real!

@¡Andrew!:
That’s a lot of Sprots Star.
All Star/HoF of Assholes

Kaaron’s gonna call your manager!

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