Six Useful Products to Contain Your Screaming
Bed Pillow
Always a classic, a fluffy pillow not only muffles your voice, it smothers your face and ears so that you may block out the reality that enrages you.
Ball Gag
It’s not just for erotic adventures any more! Hang one around your neck, and it’ll always be with you when that sudden urge to relieve your spirit of the idiocy of daily life overwhelms you.
Hannibal Lecter Chinstrap
Hey, we all need to breathe! If your undying outrage at the injustice of the world is going to take awhile to incoherently express, consider one of these, with the special mouth baffle that turns your screams into delightful musical notes!
Jason Hockey Mask
All the features of the Hannibal Lecture Chinstrap, with the added ability to repeatedly bang your head against the wall!
Party Balloons
Ever wonder how much pressure it would take to pop a balloon with your own breath? Next time you’re cursing God for the mortal affliction of life itself, grab one and find out!
Rocketship
Put that Alien tagline to the test! (Eccentric megabillionaires only.)
I’m a traditionalist as I just grind my teeth and bite my tongue.
@ManchuCandidate: Add “Have a Nice Day” and I’ll make you an Honorary Oregonian.
@nojo:
Passive Aggression is a Canadian way of life.
Till you drink enough booze and then it’s Active Aggression.
@ManchuCandidate: I’ve cracked a tooth, a filling, and a crown in the past five years. And that was while using a mouth guard.
@SanFranLefty:
That’s worse than me. I’m just slowly grinding my mouth guard into dust.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @SanFranLefty: Wiped out
SANFRANLEFTY • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Bitch, March Madness is ON! xoxo
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I mooch Disney+ from my sister and HBO Max from my ex. Still need a Hulu hookup though!
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: As a veteran of last year's tournament, you were re-invited with one click, so…
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I'm just late, as ever. The play-in games started Tuesday, but we've got until tomorrow.…
NOJO • Software Update of the Year @bruce.desertrat: I have failed to get any work done since that dropped.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • Software Update of the Year Disturbing my cow-orkers laughing at this....
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I tried RRR a few times at Benedick’s insistence, just couldn’t last. And now…
¡ANDREW! • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I watched the clips on YouTube. Lady Gaga’s performance was extraordinarily honest and…
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Oh gee, that starts tomorrow? Haven’t heard from Mellbell, so guess not.