Six Useful Products to Contain Your Screaming
Bed Pillow
Always a classic, a fluffy pillow not only muffles your voice, it smothers your face and ears so that you may block out the reality that enrages you.
Ball Gag
It’s not just for erotic adventures any more! Hang one around your neck, and it’ll always be with you when that sudden urge to relieve your spirit of the idiocy of daily life overwhelms you.
Hannibal Lecter Chinstrap
Hey, we all need to breathe! If your undying outrage at the injustice of the world is going to take awhile to incoherently express, consider one of these, with the special mouth baffle that turns your screams into delightful musical notes!
Jason Hockey Mask
All the features of the Hannibal Lecture Chinstrap, with the added ability to repeatedly bang your head against the wall!
Party Balloons
Ever wonder how much pressure it would take to pop a balloon with your own breath? Next time you’re cursing God for the mortal affliction of life itself, grab one and find out!
Rocketship
Put that Alien tagline to the test! (Eccentric megabillionaires only.)
I’m a traditionalist as I just grind my teeth and bite my tongue.
@ManchuCandidate: Add “Have a Nice Day” and I’ll make you an Honorary Oregonian.
@nojo:
Passive Aggression is a Canadian way of life.
Till you drink enough booze and then it’s Active Aggression.
@ManchuCandidate: I’ve cracked a tooth, a filling, and a crown in the past five years. And that was while using a mouth guard.
@SanFranLefty:
That’s worse than me. I’m just slowly grinding my mouth guard into dust.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times @¡Andrew!: That is true. You are correct about experiencing the pain. Can’t escape it and…
¡ANDREW! • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times @ManchuCandidate: I've learned the hard way that the only way to get through something is to go…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times @¡Andrew!: Thanks. This one will hurt for a while.
¡ANDREW! • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times @ManchuCandidate: Oh, man, that’s terrible. I wish there were something I could do; just let me…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUWZqbumaZo Just got news that my cancer stricken friend died…
¡ANDREW! • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times Gawd hates SINema.
¡ANDREW! • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times Living through one of our country’s worst eras sure has sucked (2000 – present, though…
¡ANDREW! • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times @ Manchu Hahahahaha, Everybody Hates Munchin. Kerrrist what a scumbag. SINema, too. “Meesa…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • An Extremely Strained Metaphor for Our Times Joe Joe Manchin/Binks let democracy die.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Six Useful Products to Contain Your Screaming @SanFranLefty: That's worse than me. I'm just slowly grinding my mouth guard into dust.