Apocalypse Predictions, Rated
The Omega Man
Prediction: The last man on Earth defends himself against all the other last men on Earth.
Rating: 8/10. Yeah, the Night People are a bitch, but casually hopping from sportscar to sportscar as you drive wildly down the desolated Los Angeles streets is awesome.
Logan’s Run
Prediction: Everyone is killed when they turn 30.
Rating: 1/10. Boomers turned it the other way around.
The Road Warrior
Prediction: On a desolate planet lacking liquid resources, survivors band together to claim what they can.
Rating: 7/10. We’re not going down without awesome tunes.
Night of the Living Dead
Prediction: People turn into mindless zombies, attacking those still unaffected.
Rating: 3/10. Turns out they’re all Karens.
Soylent Green
Prediction: Mmmm, human protein.
Rating: 5/10. At least it’s not tofu.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Prediction: Subterranean humans worship atomic bomb, leading to Earth’s destruction.
Rating: 2/10. We should be so lucky it happens in a snap.
A Boy and His Dog
Prediction: Infertile underground humans use a milking machine to harvest Don Johnson’s nuts.
Rating: 8/10. Dude.
The Wizard of Oz
Prediction: The beautiful, colorful world is all a dream, and we’re still stuck in Kansas.
Rating: 10/10. Nailed it.
NOOOOOOoooooooooo!
The Day After: 4/10. Armageddon is so damned depressing.
Red Dawn: 0/10. Logistics and reason aside, it fueled weak minded dumbasses’ Wolverine Fantasies (like a teenaged me.) Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey didn’t have the time of their lives with each other.
Amerika: -149/10. George Will/William Buckley’s aka alleged right wing intellect’s Red Dawn as opposed to The Day After. More boring, implausible and stupid than Red Dawn.
@ManchuCandidate: I always loved the publicity for Day After — “Too Real for TV?” — because it had all the realism of exactly that.
The Day After scared the $%&! outta me, especially the horror of realizing that a gang of Reagan-era fucknutz were in charge. It’s a gawddam miracle that we didn’t nuke ourselves.See also: By Dawn’s Early Light
Is today’s fucknutz learning?
I don’t even see why Hollywood bothers making horror flix when we can just doom scroll the news.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Freedom Isn’t Free @¡Andrew!: Thanks Conrad Black and his right wing swing of the media. I stopped watching/reading…
¡ANDREW! • Freedom Isn’t Free @ManchuCandidate: I’ve definitely noticed a rightward turn in the Canuckistani media ever since…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Freedom Isn’t Free @¡Andrew!: O'Toole sounds like a Centrist, but his power base in the Tories is the fundies and…
¡ANDREW! • Freedom Isn’t Free /the Onion/ Study: Marijuana Ranks Among Best Treatment For Persistent Existence NEW…
¡ANDREW! • Freedom Isn’t Free Oh and somehow +++winning+++ the election is BAD NEWS for JTru and the Liberals. ‘Cuz now they…
¡ANDREW! • Freedom Isn’t Free @ManchuCandidate: NOOOO, not Jack!!! One of the only politicians in modern history with any real…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Freedom Isn’t Free @nojo: Woo? Considering all that happened. Back pretty much where we started. The one thing is,…
¡ANDREW! • Freedom Isn’t Free Praise the FSM and kiss your pet walrus that the Liberals are still in the saddle. Add this to…
NOJO • Freedom Isn’t Free Canadian media calling the election before polls have closed in the West takes me wayyyyyy back.
NOJO • Freedom Isn’t Free @ManchuCandidate: Meanwhile, how about them Libruls? That good? I’ll have to give up my…